Learn to control money but do not allow it to control you

Aesop

I've decided they are just getting vouchers that I have earnt through survey sites for birthdays and xmas. Cards at other times of the year, no money gifts, etc. don't get a thanks unless you prompt the kids, so who cares!

His mum did text me yesterday to say thanks for the flowers, but then got DH saying why didn't she contact him? Because she knew I had ordered them. At this point I said I give up!

Karmacat

Ouch, Aesop, that really sounds like you're getting the short straw in a *lot* of departments...

From FW:

KC, yep - I have been acting on most of what you mentioned. But still have to do the elimination execise. I think it will be useful to write down what I would do if I am allowed two hours work a week, what are the five things I do when I really don't want to do something, and what will happen if I don't do something (this needs to be taken broader and think of effects on others as well). I did all exercises in the definition part and found them useful; my nightmares are deminished. My guess is that it is the process of writing - so just working the answers out will have a limited benefit. Big problem for me is the decluttering of the house - it is large and full of stuff we do not need, use or even want. Good opportunity for me to practice the haggling challenge - car boot sale I have never done and have been to only one.

Ah, I didn't realise you were doing the practical steps as well, sorry - I should have known! I agree, useful to do the exercises. For the house decluttering, I wouldn't contemplate a car boot sale - I'm a psychotherapist, and when I was selling *lots* of stuff, I lived in the same town as a lot of clients and ex-clients - I couldn't have done a car boot and met a client, I just couldn't that would've completely freaked me out.

What did I do? Some real rubbish just got thrown out. Some went to the recycling tip. Some went to charity shops. I sold on amazon, ebay, and musicmagpie. A few bits went to family members who would find them useful (and a few of those have since found their way to tips - something can look useful, and even be useful, but its not necessarily right to have it in your house!). Oh, and freecycle - I gave stuff away on freecycle.

Aesop

There is a link on the first post of this thread, on ways to sell your items to raise extra funds.

Lara44

Firewalker wrote: »

BTW, today I got a text from my younger step-son (Son Number Two) that read: 'Happy Mother's Day, FW, and always remember that you have three sons who love you so much.' This is more that I wished for.

That is so touching FW

Just about to start packing for Uganda as I am leaving tomorrow. I am excited and also very sad to leave OH and my friends.

savingwannabe

Lara gosh what a journey. Good luck and i wish you a safe trip.

Firewalker

Lara44 wrote: »

That is so touching FW

Just about to start packing for Uganda as I am leaving tomorrow. I am excited and also very sad to leave OH and my friends.

Enjoy your time there Lara and make sure that it is also productive - do start (if you ahve not dome this yet) writing (texts that will eventually be very useful for your PhD).

Firewalker

Triciaxx

I’ve done so much thinking that the subject may have become old hat. If so, just scroll down.

Cherisong posted ‘how to make life your work rather than work your life?’ Well put and making my little grey cells spin!
As I lurk around the diaries, I’ve found a familiar theme with the ones I’ve stayed with. I’m ‘meeting’ strong women (and a few men) who are willing to think laterally, who are (mostly) on their second career or considering a change.

Cherisong also quoted a friend saying that ‘you should follow your passion not your pension.’ I like that and, presented as a choice, I say you should go for it. However, we are often not given that free option at a young enough age. The fact that so many of us are on a second track shows that we did not find our passion first time round. Once we do find it and refine exactly what it is, we can fly and the boundaries between work and life become blurred.

I think the refining and focussing is the key. KK suggests elimination and she is right – up to a point. Physical things – YES!! But I’ve found it useful to jot down skills and experiences and consider whether they are useful or not. I’ll give you some examples.

I learned to type at school – my education was good but a bit skewed I learned Classics, Needlework, Cookery and English in rather more detail than most girls. I was convent educated and work was a mere stop gap till we could marry and produce more souls for saving. Typing was not a skill I ever used till computers appeared and touch typing was a definite advantage - I was using computers before the PC appeared on the market.

When my children were small, I earned pin money doing various jobs. Long story, too familiar to many of you to bother to relate. Among other things, I washed up and waited table at a fast food restaurant. I learned to do fast order cooking and the powers that be discovered that I could do bookkeeping (courtesy of the nuns). I ended up managing a unit, then becoming a financial trouble-shooter where things didn’t quite add up. That was my first intro to statistics which became an important part of my work life. It was also my first intro into walking into a volatile situation – people do not take kindly to the suggestion that their figures may be less than accurate.
Once my kids were off hand and I was no longer with XOH, I gained a degree in social psychology, worked in the field for a while till I discovered the lure of numbers!

Oh, my! How wonderful when they balance and the pattern is so beautiful!

I thought I could call that my life passion BUT when I did the exercise of working this out, it was not.

Writing was, is and ever will be the real passion of my life. In whatever line I have worked, my successes and satisfactions have always been in how I put the message across. I’m back to my first love – telling a story. I look back and wonder how I lost that glory and wonder.

So, I am one ahead of most of you, I am onto my third phase. I am excited at a stage when it seems most people (but definitely not all) are heading downhill. I have one option open and am pursuing others – thanks to you lovely people.

I think, believe, am sure that I have found the means to make life my work. It does seem that I can strike a balance between supplementing my retirement income and satisfying a deep need to communicate. Time will tell.

Firewalker

Right, just a quick note to say that I did speak to 'importand guy' at University and gave a seminar on the theory I am developing. Both went well but very pleased because my host is very entusiastic about the theory and is pushing me to develop it further. She wants on when it is more developed and people can start working under it. Interesting - all this may end up with me changing my opinion of myself.

Talk more tonight.

Firewalker

elantan

tricia i enjoyed reading what you have to say and can agree with the majority of it ... more food for thought

savingwannabe

I loved what Tricia wrote. Another person like the rest of you all with a beautiful writing style. I would happily buy any books you publish!