Who are upsetting & any negative comments over your plans?

faerie_girl

Thanks for replies. Wasn't sure if i'd get any.

It's mostly OH's family who we will upset and have trouble with. Mine (apart from one grandfather) Have all been great about it. My Mum is very excited and is helping me with ideas but not in a pushy way. My parents are buying mine and my sister's dress and probably our sons outift too. I was also expecting to have to pay for my Dad's suit as we would like him to match OH and Bestman slightly but thats another thing they said they will pay for.

I think not inviting FIL's lodger and Step-FIL is something that we both agree on. It would totally ruin the atmosphere for us having them there (which is sad, espcially with FIL). I just know both of them will be putting in sly digs constantly or lodger likes to criticise our parenting even though she is 20 with no children.

If it would be possible just to be Me, OH and our LO walk in and sign the papers and be done we would be happy with that!

I know people have a lot worse fallings out over weddings, ours are just niggly things. I don't know why others think they have the right to dictate how things should be done or moan about it.

Miss_Stellerstar

I may have a few problems closer to the time. My brother is not invited because he has anger management issues and I dont want him anywhere near me on any day let alone the 'big' day. My mum has already expressed concerns about this and my brother keeps saying he will gatecrash anyway. OH family will be more then happy to remove him if he does attempt it but just incase the venue is being kept hush, hushed.
My dads parents arn't talking to him atm and have turned down going to my cousins wedding this june just to avoid him so hopefully they will sort this out by the time my wedding comes round. My cousins family has now stopped talking to my grandparents because of this.
My little sister, who is a bridesmaid is giving us all the idea she is planning to have a baby soon. but i have warned her that her body belongs to me until after the wedding lol. And my mum is pretty much indifferent about everything, didnt care when we got engaged, moved out or brought a house.

I still have 20-odd months to go so no doubt more problems will pop up but I wont let them get to me. Family and friends can come if they want or not, they will be the ones missing out. As long as the day finishes with me being a mrs I will count it as a hugh success, all the rest is just details!

faerie_girl

Regards to the Uncle. He is not a 'proper' taxi driver. Was just easier to put that. He takes us - OH 4 days and me 1day aweek to work, his children and their friends/ collegues lifts for a bit of extra cash whilst he is trying to save to get registered (or whatever he needs to do) He aproached us and we pay just over what we would in bus fare but with about an our less travel on our days. We are both doing each other a favour, him for extra money and us to save travel time. Otherwise we aren't very close to him (and his family) and hadn't seen them for two years until they moved to our village as they wouldn't tell us where they lived for some strange reason.
If we were to invite him then it would be expected that his wife and three children were coming too, otherwise it would strange not too. We can't afford it. There are Aunts, Uncles and cousins on my side who we would both like to invite but can't. This is why we are having the cut off point to our Grandparents otherwise things would get out of hand.

undercover_angel

It's your wedding, you do exactly as you want. I understand why you are having a cut off at your grandparents, we are doing this too because otherwise things will get hugely out of hand. We are having a massive evening party though so that everyone can still come to celebrate with us if they would like to. My extended family don't know about theese plans yet and I'm sure some of them will be disappointed but we're just going to have to be tough and stick to our guns because we simply can't afford more guests and to be honest, I don't really want aunties and uncles there who I see 2 or 3 times a year and some of my cousins are really unpleasant people. Just because they are my family it doesn't mean I have to like them.

I realise that this makes me sound like a witch but I'm just being honest and OH and I just do not have the money to spend on feeding people whom we don't really like or even know all that well.

Just stay strong and try not to let it get you down. xxx

Lexxi

My sister has been engaged for about 6 years so when we announced our engagement everyone asked if we would actually be getting married which I thought was a bit cheeky! No one has actually really said congratulations except for my parents and grandparents, I think everyone has an issue becuase there is a large age difference but no one wants to mention it, there are some convos where it's like a great big elephant lol, I keep expecting people to burst out with it. My mums put a few comments in as has my gran but nothing particulary direct

Evansangel

Im not inviting my extended family (great aunts, 2nd cousins, etc) to our wedding or reception.
They hated me when i was younger as i was a bit of a goth, then they started to like me when i got more "Normal" as i grew up. Then at a family party i took OH along to meet them for the first time and my drunken 2nd cousin started having a go at me for changing my surname. I cried. OH told him to leave me alone as i was crying and the whole family turned against OH and started saying OH was going to punch cousin...???
No one was concerned as to how i was and just left me to get over it, even my mum.

My cousin gets v. drunk and violent at every family party, so im not risking it tbh.

My sister said that my mum told her, "If i dont invite family then she wont be coming"

My response..? Fine. Dont come. Its your loss if your going to be petty.

Plus im getting married at the register office now, and it only has 45 seats, and i've already filled 40

lizalloareds

it's your day and should do what you want and everyone else will just have to live with it, i hope that if my daughter gets married she has the wedding that she wants and not what other people think it should be

good luck to you both

shellsuit

lizalloareds wrote: »

it's your day and should do what you want and everyone else will just have to live with it, i hope that if my daughter gets married she has the wedding that she wants and not what other people think it should be

good luck to you both

How refreshing is that

There are people (including the odd few who have posted here), who think that their child's wedding should be the way the parents want it, ie, at home, in a church, with all their family around them.

And there are some who would be devastated if their child wanted to get married on their own with their groom, either abroad or home.

Like you, I think it's upto the 2 people getting married, how they decide to do it.

my_definition

if you dont mind id like to add to the list though i have ranted about my oh's family before.

his mother went mental and left the house in floods of tears when we announced we were moving in and getting engaged. She didnt return for hours and is not happy about us.

We didnt get one card or congratulations from his family or new home cards and when they visited our house they slagged everything of to the extent of why have you got a red carpet not laminate flooring (were in a flat really not supposed to) and totally disaproves. Everyone tells us were 2 young and my gran sent a happy engagement card saying dont rush into anything in capitals

Have still to tell them were getting married and going to a recepttion in a few months where we plan on having our evening do and i bet they slag it of and then when we do tell them just compare it to this other one.

Though some people have it worse and i hope you get your problems sorted guys. I think its is key to remember that it is your wedding and your day (including your oh) so you should do what you want xx

Lexxi

I think any critiscism is difficult when it's your wedding, the whole planning of it is so comsuming and you want it to be better than amazing and you want everyone to love it, it's such a hard blow when they are sniping and b!tching