Will I ever get over this?

GoingForBroke

Hi guys,

I've been feeling pretty low recently so just thought I'd post to see if anyone else had any tips/advice.

My decision to petition for bankruptcy was easy as it was literally my only option. Whilst I knew it was the right thing to do at the time, I still get so depressed. I deeply regret getting in the position of having to declare bankruptcy and I sometimes wonder if I'll ever feel any better.

I've always been a hard-worker and always tried to do the right thing. This just makes it harder to accept where I am today. I run through the 'what ifs?' a million times a day and I constantly question my decisions. This has done so much damage to my confidence and self-esteem as I feel like a total failure.

I have never been through anything as stressful as this in my life and I'm really finding it difficult to cope. I'm nearly at the half-way point in my bankruptcy year so I thought things would have improved by now but I only seem to be getting worse.

I don't really have much support from family and I've barely told any of my friends. Some have suggested I see a doctor but given that the bankruptcy will always be there, I can't see what medication would do to help! In my desperation, I have told some people but, whilst most of them understand why I had to declare bankruptcy, they can't seem to see why I feel so miserable about it. This has turned me into almost a total recluse, I hardly see my friends these days and when I do, it's so difficult to pretend that everything is ok.

How has everyone else coped? I'd especially like to hear some stories from folk who have managed to bounce back as well as those who have found it difficult.

PSNautical

how do you mean getting worse?

in yourself, or money-wise?


things are still tight, but i knew they would be,
best thing i did was practice budgeting, and if you're working, once the OR sends you a letter saying "no interest" or an early discharge, THEN whack in your working tax credit for, (if you have a job) and hopefully they can help you out with some cash,

GoingForBroke

Hi PSNautical,

I've just been getting worse emotionally. Financially, I'll never get into that position again. This situation has really scarred me for life so I doubt I'd ever be so stupid again!

confused76

hi there
i'm sorry to hear you're so down
i really never thought this would happen to me either but for various reasons it did. i feel guilty and haven't told many people, thankfully my family have been brilliant. i think it will haunt me until the 12 months is up...however, as time passes i am finding it easier to accept and i know i did the right thing given the circumstances

perhaps you should go and see your GP to talk through how you are feeling, they might be able to refer you to a counsellor

keep posting on here as it's a great place for support x

shazbo

Hi GoingForBroke, I really feel for you in this, although i havent had too many emotional problems to do with my BR (just the usual guilt which is useless because there is no way i want to be back in that situation again) but i understand because i use to go through the same feelings over absolutely everything, i would lay awake for hours going over the conversations i had that day and did i do/say anything stupid (yes i was sober!!!) and to be honest the only reason i dont feel like that anymore is because of my medication, i know what you mean about the BR always being there but once you get a better handle on it all you will feel so much better and if that takes a few months of meds that cant be too bad can it?

depression is not about the situation but about the way your head deals with it and sometimes our wires get crossed, the meds somehow uncross them, and you go back to seeing things much differently. My example of this is i had a bit of a breakdown when my last child was born, i was completley unable to be left on my own anywhere without having a major incident, a few years down the line, and my meds, i am the complete opposite, i love being alone for hours!, i have cut my meds down to the basic minimum but i have never returned to the same feelings (weird eh?)

If those closest to you think you should investigate this route listen to them, the doc wont give you something you dont need, so just have a chat with them.

I really hope you find a way to a more peaceful life you deserve it you have been through enough, now its time to take care of yourself

IF

Dear GFB, can only say what everyone else has said. Depression is a funny one to leave untreated, please speak to a doctor. And anytime your down come on here for a chat.

Best wishes
If...x

GoingForBroke

Hi Confused76, Shazbo and ifwisheswerehorses

I have seriously thought about getting help but I've never really been one to see a doctor and I'm worried about getting myself a 'history of mental health issues' if you know what I mean?

I see what you're saying about anti-depressants and I've heard some folk saying they really help but for some reason I can't build up the courage to go and see a doctor. I've done my research and I'm pretty sure I'd be diagnosed with depression. I guess I'm just scared of having it confirmed.

I called the Samaritans a few times but I'm not really sure that I got any benefit from it. I've sort of just been hoping that things will improve when I'm discharged...

IF

They have worked for me GFB, You summoned up the courage to deal with your finances. Now you have to for yourself, a lot of us are on antidepressants nothing to be ashamed of, I'm certainly not. All I know is it won't go away on it's own x

So_Sad_Angel

GoingForBroke wrote: »

I've always been a hard-worker and always tried to do the right thing. This just makes it harder to accept where I am today. I run through the 'what ifs?' a million times a day and I constantly question my decisions. This has done so much damage to my confidence and self-esteem as I feel like a total failure.
.

This is exactly how I feel Hun.....its tough & extremely tiring to get through. You are not alone & if you need to share there are always people here to listen....it will get easier.

Do chat to your GP though...if only to check that you are doing OK.

Angiexx (I have sent you a PM)

skylight

You need to separate the two. BR and yourself. BR is money but you are important.

Stress does funny things to you and you don't even realise it. It's not until you have managed to get past it that you can see back to what was going on. But sometimes you need a little help to get past it. Seeing a doctor has nothing to do with your BR. It's all to do with you and only you, so you need to see what they have to say.

xx

confused76

i've been on anti-d's in the past and they worked for me and a lot of people i know. please pluck up the courage to go and see your doctor, i know it's hard but you can do it x