Kiddiwinkles Savings should i use them??

paybacktime2008

carpedieme wrote: »

Tis to be hoped that the op's friends/relatives dony give her children any money for xmas or birthday as it may end up in the op's pocket rather than the reason it was intended for, op shouldnt post on here for opinions if she doesnt want to here the truth. Frankly, the thought of robbing my own children makes my blood run cold. I bought up three children on my own, working to make ends meet I might add and never once even went ovrdrawn ,nevermind running up debts, op needs to take a reality check.

Why are you on the debt free board then?

Mouseman

...because moneysaving ideas from this board are still valuable in remaining debt free/living within your means etc etc?

Poosmate

OP: "I do need to start budgeting but im not in a situation where things are too bad. I want to hit the nail on the head before it gets to a point where i am lying in bed at night worrying when the debt gets to thousands and thousands through irrational spending. For example the local petrol gargage which is a pay by card only doesnt accept my bank card only my mastercard. Say i will transfer it when i get home. Dont end up doing. I know i need to go somewhere else for petrol ....but its sometimes easier said than done."

Travelgran: "You've seem to have acknowledged the problem which is good but promptly add that it's not that important. Have you actually started to do anything about it apart from posting on here? I'm afraid a lot of things are 'easier said than done' but to quote another saying 'actions speak louder than words'."


I'm with Travelgran on this one. By her own admission the OP is still adding to the debt by using a petrol station she know's she'll have to use her CC at and then not transferring the money to cover it. To me it looks like a classic case of denial to the real problem the op is still using the card!

For this reason, my answer to the question "Kiddiwinkles Savings should I use them??" is a resounding NO! I would also ask all those who believe it's ok for the kids savings to be used to re-read the op's posts and honestly answer if it's a person who is in control of their spending and do they honestly believe the OP will replace the savings? I don't doubt that her intentions are genuine but in her own words "easier said than done".

Lets also not forget that this is not a case where the kids are not going to be fed, clothed, kept warm or lose the roof over their heads. It's about a parent who has (I hope) realised that there is a problem but who has yet to realise the solution is not the easy option of being bailed out by her kids. Most of us on here who are in debt have taken the "easy" option by bailing ourselves out with consolidation loans or 0% interest rate deals before we've had our true lightbulb moments and sussed out the proper way to do it.

I believe what we are witnessing is a person in debt who is (hopefully) about to have her real true lightbulb moment.

The absolute first step in reducing debt is to stop using credit and live within your means.

Please, OP, think about your spending habits. Please start a new thread with a new resolve and post your SOA (Statement Of Affairs) and let us help you to get out of debt the hard way but the right way. You will learn so so much and probably think back about this thread and ask yourself "what on earth was I thinking?"!

Please think about it and use this link when you're ready.

http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html

The people on this board are truly amazing when it comes to cost cutting and paying off debts. There will be all the practical advice and moral support you need to do this.

Poo

P.S. I'd just like to add, stop paying into the kids savings account immediately, they have more than enough atm to cover any emergencies they may have and lets face it, at age 2 and 7 their emergencies are not going to cost that much are they?!

carpedieme

im on the debt free board lurking, what an eye opener!! some people just have no idea

Poosmate

carpedieme wrote: »

im on the debt free board lurking, what an eye opener!! some people just have no idea

What do you mean by that?

paybacktime2008

paybacktime2008 wrote: »

I've just 'robbed' my son of 2k. He's savvy though I will be paying it back at 5% interest. He wins (better rate than the building society) I win (less interest than the overdraft) and a valuable lesson learnt for all of us.

I'm quoting myself!

Why does doing this make peoples blood run cold. Maybe I should just keep letting the Halifax charge me £30 a month? Rather than let my son make some money out of me? Yes and for the record, I work hard, single mum, our own roof over our heads. Maybe I should sell the house and use the equity before robbing my son? Would that make it any better?
Sorry just don't get it.

Poosmate

For me, it's not a case of her not using the kids money. It's more the fact that she's contemplating it without tackling the reason she's in this position. By her own admission (and several of them) she is aware of the symptoms of the problem but has not realised what is staring her in the face, which is the cause of the problem.

And I don't mean that in any kind of derogatory way to the OP. I'd almost put my house on the fact that (if we're all honest) anyone who's in debt and trying to become debt free will have had a period prior to their lightbulb moment where they thought they were doing right by their debt but couldn't understand why it wasn't reducing. It's like looking at one of those double image pictures and for so long you can only see one image, then you see the other image and can't possibly believe how you missed it in the first place.

It's so simple, yet so complex too.

My experience was putting my car insurance and tax on my card, believing I was paying it off each month with the minimum payments I was making. It just didn't occurr to me that I was only paying off the interest and a small fraction of the cost of the insurance/tax. When I finally realised this was when I had my lightbulb moment.

Now I ask you again, please re-read the OP's posts and tell me that you firmly and honestly believe that 1-2 years on she will not be £3600 in debt again but with no kids savings to bail her out.

Unless she tackles the cause she's not going to be debt free.

Poo

penniless96

I agree with all those who have said use the money!!!!!!!

We still have quite a lot of debt to clear, although it is getting smaller each month and do find some months a struggle. I have 2 children my eldest is 4 and a half and she used to have a bit of savings but we decided to use them and i do not regret it!!

Now my daughter and my 7 month old son get pretty much what they want when they want. My daughter doesn't know we are in debt she never will it is not her problem, she has clarks shoes, nice clothes, toys, day trips, and healthy food inside her.

Now if i have to use birthday money/xmas money etc to do this i will as she will only be a child once and i want her to have the best possible childhood instead of saying "no sorry darling no new shoes today, even though yours are too small" or " no trip to the zoo this year even though i know you will love it and remeber it when you are older but dont worry you have a nice healthy bank account for in 14 years time" CRAZY

All those people who say the OP is "stealing" from her children are ridiculous. The OP is the one who spends a lot more money feeding, clothing, entertaining and ensuring her children grow up happy with wonderful childhood memories, all by using her own money.

For heavens sake there is plenty of time to save for her children once she is debt free (if she chooses to), i know that is what i will be doing. My children will never go without, and will have some money for when they are older which i will save myself when i am debt free. They will have wonderful childhood memories too!

Lets be realistic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tesuhoha

I've been reading this and there are good points on each side which I've totally agreed with.

I started saving for my kids when they were babies, it wasnt much just £10 a month and sometimes I drew on it to buy them things they wouldnt otherwise have. By the time my daughter went to uni there was about £3500 in her account. She expressed poverty so i handed over the savings book to her. Big regret she went on a spending spree, nights out, clothes, holidays until it was all gone and she had nothing to show for 18 years of saving. Now she is 23 and working hard in a tough job with poor pay she bitterly regrets it as she is struggling to buy a car. That money would have bought her a nice car. So her lesson was learnt later in life.

Having said all that I would not personally borrow the money from the kids account because you don't really need to. I would stop the payments into their account however. The debt is only £3600. I would put it on 0% using husbands credit rating if necessary and set up a regular standing order of what I could easily afford. When the 0% term runs out transfer it to another until its paid off.