Kiddiwinkles Savings should i use them??

milanos

zarazara wrote: »

Just an aside here,my husband and myself put away money for our 2 children on a regular basis,small amounts because that is all that we could afford.We thought it would be useful to them at 18 for uni or something. My eldest bew it a on his hobby. Very upsetting for us,then at 20 went to live with his girlfriend and proceeded to spend the £10,000 inheritance from his grandad on gifts for her,her family holiday and so on. Suprise,suprise the month it all disappeared she threw him out. My youngest though, is like me and his dad,he banked his ,added to it and is going to buy his first (second hand) car soon loan-free,we are careful spenders and dont use cards. I am heartbroken at how my eldest behaved and just cannot understand it.However its been a hard lesson for him and I just hope hes learned well now. Sort of puts me off saying its good to put money away for children when they recklessly throw it away,especially when it was so hard for us to save in the first place.

I think that's a worry for a lot of parents, me as a new parent included. Currently we pay £25 a month to his CTF but am thinking instead of paying it into an ISA or other account in my wife or my name so that we have a) access to the money in exceptional circumstances and b) can help fund further education etc later on without him being able to blow it all on something else. I was pretty wasteful with a £2500 inheritance and felt so bad when I had nothing so show for it that I want to make sure my son doesn't end up in the same boat.

speedycat

I'm sorry but I would do it in a heartbeat. If you have the intention of paying it back then why not? Needs Must - I had to raid my 3 year old daughters piggy bank which was full of pound coins from her grandparents to buy a weeks worth of food for us all to eat once. Not the happiest or most fulfilling of memories sure.....but I had no choice, and although she didn't have any pound coins in her piggy bank anymore, she did have food in her little belly and was none the wiser.

I've put some pound coins back in there now though and am also saving towards a cabin bunk bed she really wants. She did me a favour, I've paid her back for it and am getting her a special treat too.

Op didn't say she was considering selling her kids on to slavery

Jennykins

I had a savings account when I was a kid. My parents put money from them in, the child allowance or whatever it is and also any financial gifts I got from relatives. When their business went under, my savings account was cashed in.

Am I eternally angry? Do I think they stole from me? Not at all. They needed the money, it was sitting there doing nothing. To me it makes sense that they used it.

redkev76

Some of the replies on here are classic, theft, embezzlement etc!!!! :rotfl:

Dear me, the OP kids are 2 and 7 and the idea that they should involve the 7 year old in financial decisions is just ludicrous. Why would anyone wish to burden a 7 year old with worries about finances when your job as a parent is to look after your child not ask them if you can use money that they are not even aware that they have.

Clearly the OP needs to look at why this debt arose in the first place and make sure that it doesn't happen again but to not use money that you have put aside for the children to improve your family situation would be madness in my opinion.

I have 2 small children and if I was in the same position, I would do it in a heartbeat.

In terms of the money that has been given as presents etc, the OP has said she would not use that. From personal experience, I know that any of my relatives who have given birthday/Christmas money for the kids and which is going into the bank would have no problem with it being used if it was a case of eat or not eat. Clearly, no-one would do this lightly and I would hope to never be in that situation but if I found myself in a situation where a bailiff was going to knock on my door and take our stuff for the sake of £250 and I had £250 in my children's account which was given as presents, I would use it. I would not feel good about it but I would use it and then pay it back with interest.

Your number 1 priority as a parent is to feed,clothe and protect your child, not worry about whether they have enough in the bank to afford a XBOX game.

burntfingers_2

I have to say that I agree with Lizzie b and Andy with their comments.

Sometimes parents do not have any option but to use the only money which is available to them at that time which sadly maybe their childrens accounts. Surely if it was to pay a gas or electric bill or something as equally important such as car repairs so that the main wage earner can actually get to work and therefore keep these essentials connected and a roof over the families head surely that is more important.

It relieves the pressure on mum and dad, its not like they are saying that they will never pay it back or anything. If the child aged 7 does not know about the savings account then what is the issue?? The money is borrowed and paid back without the child knowing, and why should a 7 year old be burdened with this kind of situation. Children grow up fast enough as it is! They should have a carefree, happy, secure childhood which will give them happy memories ...not memories of mum and dad scrimping and saving every penny.

Just my thoughts

burntfingers

bouncydog1

If you are asking others whether it is morally right to take it, then in your heart you know the answer. The amount you are talking about is not huge, so isn't there a way to juggle your SOA, so that you can repay the debts quicker without touching your childrens savings.

Personally, I wouldn't touch the money - I would pretend it wasn't there and find another way to settle your debt - after all if you had access to a third party's account would you take that?

SeasideEm

In essence I don't see this as the children's money, it is the OP savings which may have been saved for the children, but wasn't saved by the children.

If she had posted asking should she pay off debt with her own savings, most people would have said yes straight away. If she can pay off her debt quicker this is only going to advantage the kids in the long run.

My parents used the money in my school bank account when I was younger as they needed it. They have more than repaid that debt since helping me with tuition fees and sending me when they can when I have struggled.

stroppyjock

No hesitation, use the money.

Less debt, happier parents, better atmosphere for kids to grow up in.:)

carpedieme

Tis to be hoped that the op's friends/relatives dony give her children any money for xmas or birthday as it may end up in the op's pocket rather than the reason it was intended for, op shouldnt post on here for opinions if she doesnt want to here the truth. Frankly, the thought of robbing my own children makes my blood run cold. I bought up three children on my own, working to make ends meet I might add and never once even went ovrdrawn ,nevermind running up debts, op needs to take a reality check.

travelgran

'I do need to start budgeting but im not in a situation where things are too bad. I want to hit the nail on the head before it gets to a point where i am lying in bed at night worrying when the debt gets to thousands and thousands through irrational spending. For example the local petrol gargage which is a pay by card only doesnt accept my bank card only my mastercard. Say i will transfer it when i get home. Dont end up doing. I know i need to go somewhere else for petrol ....but its sometimes easier said than done.'

You've seem to have acknowledged the problem which is good but promptly add that it's not that important. Have you actually started to do anything about it apart from posting on here? I'm afraid a lot of things are 'easier said than done' but to quote another saying 'actions speak louder than words'.