Kiddiwinkles Savings should i use them??

kate_pixie

Vgstar I'm going to have to be a fence-sitter on this one as I can this from two angles.

I would say that the money you have put away for the kids is technically still your money, your are saving it for their future, so I see no problem in how you manage that money. I would also say that you should leave any money given to them by relatives for birthday and christmas etc alone, because it was clearly given to them and not you. It might be hard to differentiate between what amounts are what, in which case, this is a moot suggestion.

Most importantly, you should discuss it with your seven year old and agree a time frame for it's repayment. I would have gladly helped my parents out at that age and it might be good for him to see at this early age that debt is a major pain, lol.

I also agree with a few of the other posters that it would be best to address why you are in this position, and take a look at where your expenditure is exceeding your income, so that this is a one-time deal.

Wishing you all the best xx

andys15

wuckfit wrote: »

Ah yes. in your world, children are responsible for their own welfare and finances. Whereas in mine parents have a legal obligation to feed and clothe and house their children. And that's ridculous is it?
Taking money from childens' accounts is theft. IMO. it's an abuse of trust at the very least.

No I provide my children with welfare and finances. They are clothed and fed and treated, but that comes at a cost, which my children are aware of. They know they dont get anything for free. They appreciate that leaving lights on cost money, they appreciate that I wake up at 5am to work, to put food on the table. They would not have a tear in their eye as you say, if I dont buy them the latest xbox game. They would have to do their chores. My daughter left her school blazer on the bus the other day, and she paid for it to be replaced. Harsh? a little, but I hope it teaches her a lesson.

wuckfit

lizzie_b wrote: »

So did feeding clothing and housing the children not contribute to the debt the parents are in?? Therefore the children are helping to provide for the family, and at the very least the 7 year old will begin to learn a very valuable lesson on the value of money.

I've no idea. Only the OP can answer that question, and frankly it's nobody's business why someone is in debt.

Child benefit and Child tax credits are available for parents. To expect children to help 'provide' for the family is a deluded attempt to defend the indefensible.

Stealing, or 'borrowing with intent to repay', if you want to split hairs, from the kids will only teach the that their parents can't be trusted with their money.

lizzie_b

wuckfit wrote: »

I've no idea. Only the OP can answer that question, and frankly it's nobody's business why someone is in debt.

Child benefit and Child tax credits are available for parents. To expect children to help 'provide' for the family is a deluded attempt to defend the indefensible.

Stealing, or 'borrowing with intent to repay', if you want to split hairs, from the kids will only teach the that their parents can't be trusted with their money.

I think you have trust issues, I also think your screen name with a couple of adjusted letters is very appropriate.

wuckfit

lizzie_b wrote: »

I think you have trust issues, I also think your screen name with a couple of adjusted letters is very appropriate.

Thanks:) When you lose the moral argument you resort to personal insults! way to go! :T

Me and my clear conscience are out of here. Have a nice day.

moggylover

I think you need to be VERY honest with yourself first. How did you get into debt, what was the money spent on and can you forsee getting totally out of debt AND paying back the money you borrow from your children? Can you promise that hand on heart or are you going to continue getting into debt and never manage to pay them back?

I personally, wouldn't touch the money that belongs to the two year old, and I would be annoyed if I had given money to a relatives child and the relative had then used that for anything but the most dire emergency (i.e. loosing the house, or not eating) instead of the child having that money. If your 7 year old would understand the principle then I suppose it would be okay to ask and assure the child of the fact that they will be repaid.

I do, however, borrow cash from my kids sometimes if I have not been able to get to the bank: but only after asking them first, and not large amounts.

I think some people have some very odd morals tbh. The principle of giving money (or anything else) to someone else is that once given it is theirs (and the law backs this up) and so in any other single situation the "borrowing" of it without express permission would indeed constitue theft or embezelment. Children may be "your children" but they are legally individuals in their own right and so to "borrow" from them is no different that "borrowing" from anyone else.

I would HATE to teach my kids the very woolly morals that some on here appear to have regarding possession/money and the loose construction of honesty that it shows if it is only theirs as long as you do not need it.:(

I would think it would be very difficult to teach them the difference between you taking money from their savings, and them taking money from your purse tbh.

Personally, I think you need to sit down and talk this through with your OH, and if this means admitting you have been stupid with money and need a bit of help in getting it sorted then so be it. The money problem is for the adults to sort out: not for the kids to save for your rainy day.

There are lots of kids out there that have had money left to them by relatives in trust funds that has been squandered by their parents: this is prosecutable by law in many cases and I do not see a real difference in this situation.

andys15

lizzie_b wrote: »

I think you have trust issues, I also think your screen name with a couple of adjusted letters is very appropriate.

I was just about to post that he has the most appropriate screen name. Let kids be kids and adults be adults. I would say this is what is wrong with kids today, to much wishy washy parenting. I have to be honest, I will not be consulting with a 7 year old about the finances.

moggylover

lizzie_b wrote: »

The 7 year old is at an age where the situation can be discussed with them, I would certainly have been quite happy to go without a new game at that age if my parents needed the money for something that is going to be of more benefit to me in the long run. And I think most children would do the same.

I don't think that is actually the point though Lizzie, the two year old doesn't have a choice really:(

I would always have been happy to help my parents, but then they would never, ever, have put themselves in the position where they needed me to which begs the question of whether they parents can manage money well enough to put the money they "borrow" back.:o

When things have been tight here my kids (now 12 and 14) have actually offered to help and I have been very glad of that but have always found another way to do it.

wuckfit

andys15 wrote: »

No I provide my children with welfare and finances. They are clothed and fed and treated, but that comes at a cost, which my children are aware of. They know they dont get anything for free. They appreciate that leaving lights on cost money, they appreciate that I wake up at 5am to work, to put food on the table. They would not have a tear in their eye as you say, if I dont buy them the latest xbox game. They would have to do their chores. My daughter left her school blazer on the bus the other day, and she paid for it to be replaced. Harsh? a little, but I hope it teaches her a lesson.

Arguably losing the blazer is her fault. I agree it will teach her a lesson.
Parents getting into debt is not a child's fault, so why should they be penalised for their parents financial mistakes?

moggylover

lizzie_b wrote: »

I think you have trust issues, I also think your screen name with a couple of adjusted letters is very appropriate.

I don't have trust issues at all. Just I do not believe in the saying of "what's yours is mine, what's mine is my own";)

We are not talking dire need here as far as I can see, and there will be other (possibly not so easy) answers to the ops problem that do not involve expecting children to be the ones saving for their parents problem times.

My kids have always been expected to save from their money (and do chores in order to earn it) it doesn't teach them much about the benefits of doing so if someone elses inability to budget means their dosh is then spent for them. They would be better of spending the lot when they get it in that case.