Leaving kids in the car....

bestpud

I've been thinking more about this and I have a theory about my fear of being trapped in the car - or my children being trapped while I'm not there.

Seat belts became compulsory when I was a child and I would have overheard many conversations arguing against the new law.

My parents owned a pub and know they, and many of the regulars, were frightened of being trapped in the car - as I believe many were at the time.

I was quite young at the time but I remember being frightened after they'd been talking about being trapped under water.

I imagine they had very similar conversations about fire...

I don't know for sure, but I tend to think fears like that originate from somewhere iyswim?

bestpud

tiamai_d wrote: »

I can just imagine two cars in a garage forecourt, two mothers go to pay, one with her children in tow, the other without. They look at each other and think 'what a terrible mother!'

That amuses me for some reason! (boring day)

You don't really believe we parents aren't all perfect, do you?

Parents look down on other parents - tis the way it is. Some more than others of course, but we all do it at some point or another - most of us reserve it for major issues though, thank goodness!

However, what's important to one will be a triviality to another - we can't change that!

bestpud

Toomuchdebt wrote: »

I always leave the kids in the car while I pay for petrol unless I only have the baby with me in which case I take her out and carry her across the forecourt.I also leave the kids in the car when I go to Tesco sometimes if the older ones are there-I flatly refuse to take 5 kids shopping with me and as the 2 elder ones are 15 and 12 they are old enough to look after the younger ones.They lock the doors from the inside and I have the keys with me.They also have mobile phones to contact me if needed.If I only have the younger ones then we all go in.

Ah, that's different!

I would happily leave dd(8) in the car with dd(17).

I kind of imagined we were talking about leaving young children alone, or with another child equally as young iyswim?

Maybe we should clarify what age group we are talking about!

We could be on several different wave lengths! :rotfl:

Sarahlou_2

Whatever one mother (or father) does another will disagree, that's life.

I personally wouldnt leave mine in the car BUT I only have one 5 year old and dont drive! so when we go for petrol it's my hubby who fills up and pays whilst I stay in the car. But I agree it must be tricky when you have a few!

There is always an extreme case in every situation....... remember the child who battered the other child with the car jack whilst left in the car alone?!! But these are few and far between thankfully!!!

tiamai_d

bestpud wrote: »

You don't really believe we parents aren't all perfect, do you?

Parents look down on other parents - tis the way it is. Some more than others of course, but we all do it at some point or another - most of us reserve it for major issues though, thank goodness!

However, what's important to one will be a triviality to another - we can't change that!

Well I know I'm perfect. It's everyone else that's wrong! :rotfl:

Spendless

bestpud wrote: »

I didn't say I keep anything of value in my car - I said in case they go looking for something valuable, as you'd be surprised how many women leave their bag etc in full view on the front seat! Have a look during the school run - you may be surprised, and a thief won't know if I'm one of those dullards, will they?

I don't actually use a handbag and my purse is always in my pocket.

I do sometimes have my mobile in my door pocket but it's out of view - I take it if I leave the car for any time but would leave it there just to pop and pay.

However, I always lock my door - always!

I see no point in taking the risk tbh.

A thief will take an old coat if they think it has something in it, or if they just want to keep dry, as happened with my bil - they smashed his window just to steal his jacket! Not at a petrol station obviously, but just outside his friends house and they were all sat in the house at the time.

My car doesn't have electric windows either, and neither does it have central locking. I don't smoke and have one box of matches at home (high up) for my candles, but never in the car.

Sooo, any of those things would be very unlikely to happen to me as well (hence I leave my dd in the car for short periods!) - I was responding to your post saying you've never heard of these things actually happening iyswim?

Yes I was ressponding to tiaami who asked this
Originally Posted by tiamai_d
What is it that may happen to them left in the car? I've always wondered this.

So I responded by giving examples of what I thought people's objections might be and put in brackets that I'd no experience of most of them happening.

Spendless wrote: »

well the car might catch on fire (apparantly this happens occassionally but must be rare I've never heard of anyone it's happened to), someone might pinch them out of the car whilst your back is turned (again never heard of it but can't say there's never been a case) the kids might get out and wander off (no experience of this one either), they might let the handbrake down and your car suddenly rolls into something (this I have heard of) they might start screaming the place down unhappy at being left (would guess that would depend on child's age and temperament), they might squabble, fight with their siblings and you'll be sorting out WW3 when you get back. Sure there's others but it's all I could think of at the min.

But then later I wondered what you had in your car that was valuable due to what you'd put here but because I hadn't multi-quoted and was more relying on memeory I thought your fear was to do with a theif taking something from your car whilst you were at the paying kiosk.

bestpud wrote: »

Lol, no, it's me who is strange! It's one of my odd fears - I don't actually have many when it comes to my children but that's one I do have at petrol stations.

I don't worry anywhere else btw!

My biggest fear anywhere else would be them accidentally knocking off the handbrake (although I do always leave the car in gear) and, for my youngest, her getting upset if she can't see me. She does worry about things like that - some children do and some don't.

I've never worried about mine getting out, as they have never shown any inclination to do that, but with the older two, I know they'd have fought!

I worry about someone getting into the car, but not to pinch them or the car as such - rather I worry someone will try and see if there is anything valuable in there.

For the same reason, I always lock the car at petrol stations/shops/anywhere I leave it - whether my child is with me/in the car/at home. I do think there is a risk of an empty and unlocked car being taken from a petrol station.

It's just something I do and something every sensible motorist should do!

I presume people realise they'd have no insurance pay out if they leave their car unlocked and it was taken, or something was stolen from it...?

In terms of keeping them in my sight (or close enough for me to quickly check at least), I wouldn't leave a young child stood alone on the street, or strapped in a high chair in a cafe, or strapped in a shopping trolley in Tesco, while I wandered off to do my shop, so I can't see how they are that much safer in a car tbh!

The idea of monitoring young children is they are unpredictable so why do people feel their toddler would be safer sat in a car alone than sat in a cafe alone, for example?

I thought you were still talking about being on a garage forecourt not as a generalisation.



I(God that multi-quoting took some sorting out). :rotfl:

Spendless

bestpud wrote: »

I've been thinking more about this and I have a theory about my fear of being trapped in the car - or my children being trapped while I'm not there.

Seat belts became compulsory when I was a child and I would have overheard many conversations arguing against the new law.

My parents owned a pub and know they, and many of the regulars, were frightened of being trapped in the car - as I believe many were at the time.

I was quite young at the time but I remember being frightened after they'd been talking about being trapped under water.

I imagine they had very similar conversations about fire...

I don't know for sure, but I tend to think fears like that originate from somewhere iyswim?

I wondered if it had originated from something in RL I was going to ask you this...because you do not usually come across to me as the sort of poster who comes across saying I don't let mine do x due to ...... and say something which stastics tell you is remote. eg the stats you gave me on the 5 deaths in the car 2 were due to matches and 2 must have left the keys in the car assumming all electric windows only operate if the key is in the ignition.

I know where my 'freak out' zone is, it's water especially garden ponds. That comes from when I was a teenager and my mum who is a hairdresser told me about a customer who had just moved to a house with a garden pond. A woman and her toddler came to visit a neighbour. Toddler disappeared whilst mum was getting something out of car boot and was later found dead in mum's customer's pond. The back garden was accessible from the front of the house. When my kids were younger and MIL used to have DS 1 day a week, I used to cringe at the side gate left open at their next door neighbours as they had a garden pond.

gabyjane

Yorkshire-Lady wrote: »

You have to think sensibly about this!

I am a childminder and have a baby in a car seat, a 13 month old, a 22 month old and 6 yr old twins to think about.
My risk assessment says NO WAY!
Ofsted are happy with that.

I lock the door and can see the vehicle at all times - in my opinion thats much safer than 5 children tagging onto me at a busy forecourt.

Was going to post exactly the same thing tbh. Being a CM too i would find it totally unpractical taking numerous children into the filling station with me..Ofsted would frown upon it too.
I would say if you have full visual contact then there isnt much to worry about..just make sure you lock the car. I understand some petrol stataions are huge and therefore a diff story so only you know x

Glamazon

I always leave J in the car when I go to pay at the petrol station. By the time I've got him out of his seat, unsettled him, carted him in there, traipsed back out, put him BACK in the seat they'd be a massive queue waiting for me to move and a grumpy baby!

skintchick

I usually pay at pump to avoid this issue, but I'd leave DD (8 months) in the car, which I'd lock, if I had to go inside. Actually I lock my car when I fill up anyway.

The worst that will happen is she gets upset but these days she barely notices I'm gone if she has a toy to amuse her, so a few mins in the shop wouldn;t bother her and I'd make sure I kept looking out at the car, but IRL I've not had to do this.