Advice needed please regarding g/f ex husband and kids(will try to keep it short)

Glass_Half_Empty??

euronorris wrote: »

If moving away, particularly abroad, is a dream of yours then I would also look into what rights he may have to halt this.

I know you said that it's just a dream at the moment, but your circumstances may change and you may find yourself with the opportunity one day. Best to know the facts up front so you're prepared.

How about your gf? Is she interested in moving to another part of the country? Or to a European country perhaps? I manage to visit the UK about once every 2 months and sometimes have visitors in between and it's not as far away as Canada either, so may be more appealing to her.

Isn't half of Ibiza filled with chavvy tourist Brits though?

She would move to Ibiza yeah but its extremly expensive and no it isnt full of chavvy brits thats the beaauty if it. It isnt like Spain and the costa del sol they have kept their identiity as a baleric blissfull place I think about being there every day :rotfl: As far as him stopping us we wont know till we win the lottery(which wont haooen) what he would say. I dont imagine he would be that bothered deep down but but if we really did have the money we would have kids come back regularly if they wanted to see him.

The solicitor does have a diary of a lot of stuff note and thinks he is a shocking excuse for a dad but cant tell my g/f what to do only advise. I think with the baby only now 3 weeks away we will let him think he can get away with it and the next "event" that happens after the baby is born she will fight against him harder I just dont want her stressing out so close to the birth.

Glass_Half_Empty??

Nelmer wrote: »

Not sure if this is hindrance or help but here goes (sorry for the length)

I'm a step-mother and have been with my DH for 6 years my step kids are now 18 and 16. We live south west england, their mother lives in the midlands. Due to the ex not being able to cope (she threw my DH out) DH has had 'sole custody' of his kids since they were 4 and 6. For the first 2 years of our relationship I put up with being screamed at down the phone, driving to the midlands every school holiday to drop them off and pick them up (she doesn't drive) and had to listen to similar stories to the ones you are telling. I am a very 'stong, dominant' personality and I learn't very quickly that I needed to be quiet as they aren't my kids. 4 years ago after a trip to their mothers both children complained that they didn't do anything the whole week they were there. Next trip we told the ex these things and she flew off the handle telling the kids they were ungrateful, disloyal etc etc. She scared the youngest so much he locked himself in the car and wouldn't come out. At that point they refused to see her again and they haven't seen her since.

Sorry for the ramble.

I know they are older than your step kids but I'm hoping that it puts a bit of light at the end of the tunnel, they will get fed up with their father treating them badly. My step-kids took the crap longer than I thought because they had a baby half sister (and now a baby half brother they have never med).

As daska said, give him 1 number he can ring and no others and learn to put the phone down on him when he's rude or abusive. We did this to DH's ex and she gradually lost interest more and more until the kids severed ties.

Someone else said being a step parent is a thankless task, I wouldn't wholly agree. If you have a good relationship with your step children they will thank you, it just might take them until later in life to do it. x

That is exactly what we want to happen but sooner then 10 years
The kids wanted to come home on sat at 4.30 and he just came round at 5 with out ringing and we werent in so started going mental at my g/f saying he would take them to her grandmas I mean !!!!!!?? His time is until 6 and they were both fed up and moaning at him which he obviously didnt like. And the daughter has been invited to a party next sat and has chose not to go to daddys(not the first time) so she can go to the party instead which he again started being abusive about till g/f slammed phone down and ignored him a few times. !!!!!! im bored of all this crap now I guess its just let nature take its corse as whatever I say or do it has no affect on the outcome as they arent me kids and I am only good for buying them sweets clothes toys etc :rotfl: