Where do I start ? no point going on !

cmorlife

Hiya,
im in plymouth, where abouts are you? I have a friend whos just qualified in social care and starts at the council working with adults in a couple of weeks. Let me know where you are pm me if you want, im sure my friend will be able to help in some way even if its just advice.

mae

Hi I've just read your post through and felt I had to post but I'm sat hear struggling to find the right words.... I agree with everyone on this thread its horrendous that you are in this situation... Everyones advice has been amazing and people really do care its so obvious..
I know you have got a lot to do re banging your head against bricks walls with council, MPs etc and keeping the childrens spirits up but what about you?? What I mean is although you say you feel embarrassed, humiliated etc and feel its hard to talk to people I am really concerned that you need to let off steam for yourself and off load. What I am getting at is counselling.. I am in my final year of training to be a counsellor and I do voluntary counselling and although I cannot help you as you are too far away your doctor should be able to help re getting you somebody to talk to. I have seen first hand the power of talking to someone can make a tremendous difference and its an hour a week completely to yourself in a safe enviroment that is totally confidential where you can pour it all out because at the moment obvioulsy and rightly you are all consumed with getting a house, but you have also lost your partner which is alot for anybody to cope with on its own and you have no time to grieve for each situation.. You are human and deserve some time to feel your pain and think of your self for just one hour a week.. It may not be your thing but I was just thinking that while you are fighting for a house, then the next step is sorting the debt and grieving for or saving your relationship and if you had counselling it would give you time to heal and keep on track at the same time. I don'y know if I'm making any sense but don't underestimate the benefits of counselling and I don't want to patronise you but baby steps helps you get to the top of the hill coz running up it will burn you out.. Each step you make will give you the confidence to go on and with the help of all these amazing people on here once you are housed you will tackle the debt and although it won't go away it will be managed and that will be a relief in itself and you can get some peace of mind knowing its managed.
Sorry to go on but one last thing if you do go and see your doctor explain that you have thought of the unthinkable as you can't see a way out they can give you a letter to give to your council to tell them his concerns for your health.. Also health visitors can write letters too as you have children ask for one to come visit and talk to her..

Lastly I just want to say that you have it really tough and my heart goes out to you and please don't see that as pity see it as empathy. You have nothing to be embarrassed about you are in a situation that any one of us could find ourselves in and you could try feeling proud of yourself. Proud because you are doing everything in your power to get a home for your children you are waking up each day and seeing to your children and doing what you have to thats a hell of a lot to be proud of. From your posts you sound a kind genuine, humble strong woman who is a fab mother and although your children are going through a lot there are alot of children out there who would do alot to have a mum like you. Well Done keep on going it WILL come together and your self estemm WILL rise as you will look back and think I've done all this for my children and I deserve a pat on the back for facing it sorting it all out. XXXX And I started my post saying I couldn't find any words ;-) ha ha

meerustar

Hi CGS, I hope you're feeling a bit better today.

I have no idea if this will help but here are a list of MP's in Devon. Which one covers your area ?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/devon/discovering/information/politicians.shtml

I know you have been to see your MP, but I was thinking maybe if a few of us off this board wrote to them too, they might listen a bit more. Maybe knowing that the eyes of MSE are watching that they might try that little but harder to solve your issues.

I would only write on your behalf if you wanted me to (I'm sure others on here feel the same). The way you have been treated is disgusting and it's about time we all stood firm on this one and got you the result you want.

Also please post how much you owe to not be IH and we can try and work something out from there.

Good Luck ... keep going, we ALL behind you xxx

sukindred

I would definately write as well ,anything that would be helpful.Have you tried the consumer credit counselling service (0800 138 1111 ,https://www.cccs.co.uk) ?They are a charity ,even if they can just listen it may help.We are all thinking of you every day.

Hello

Hi CGS

I live in Devon too, I know I voted for at least one of the numpty MPs in this area, so I will happily write to him and tell him what I think of him and the Councillers Athletes foot. Hope it moves somewhere embarrassing.

I know what Devon is like, I have lived in a few areas in South Devon and the remoteness of the villages and lack of decent public transport can be a nightmare.

Landlords - won't accept kids, smokers, cats or DHSS. Speaking from experience, (smoker with cats) I look after the house so much better than others I have seen. I heard a report recently that said there is a boom with buy-to-let properties, at this rate there won't be enough non smoking, kid free, pet free, fully employed renters to go round and it will serve them right. :mad: Sorry, sounding a bit bitter there!

Keep us posted CGS, we worry when we don't hear from you.

Thoughts are with you

Hello
:grouphug:

Can't_Get_Straight

Hiya

Hello - You are so right, it's madness with renting.

Tiff - Don't worry about ranting, sometimes listening to other peoples hardships puts my problems into perspective and lets me know it's not the end of the world. I've never heard of Welfare Rights, will look into that too, and thank you for all of the above, very helpful, don't apologise. (I like Deal or no Deal too)

Msmicawber - I have not called Lynzpower but have explained why to her, I can't explain but find it difficult to speak to anyone about this right now, unless they are official people, if you see what I mean, I'm having feelings at the moment, I've never experienced and trying to deal with them.

Mae - Thank you for the counselling suggestion, when all this is sorted I'll probably feel well enough to do without it. I don't have any taboos about it, I just need to concentrate on these issues first, for my children. Thank you it will be considered.

Meerustar - Thank you again for ideas, I keep noting them.

Tesuhoha - I'm so sorry for your experience and that it still upsets you so much. This is what I fear the most. My fears don't matter, but I don't want my children having these horrible fear memories when they're older and it having an affect on them, that is my main worry.

Western Express - Thank you for that, I hadn't considered asking the School itself for support regarding this. If someone else has mentioned it, I apologise, I do try to take down everything on paper.

If I've left anyone out, I'm very sorry, it's just hard to keep track of all the replies and comments. I've given myself a 2 week limit to get some sort of result or answer (very optimistic I know) but if I'm still in this situation then, I will post the financial details, not to gain help from you good people, but maybe someone would have some advice about what services are available within the authorities that might help with this, as I'm sure they wouldn't tell me.

I'm gonna call my MP on Tuesday if he doesn't call me first, and I've decided to be a bit tougher and either demand a better appointment (preferably one not based around him) or tell him I'll sleep with him ....JUST KIDDING (I found a bit of a sense of humour today. It just appeared from nowhere and slapped me in the face !!!) If I get no joy, I might very well take you up on the offer of a mass letter write to him (and his athletes feet !!)

In fact I've decided not to wait for any of them actually and call them ALL on Tuesday and try to get sense from all of them. Hard task I know, but I need answers from someone at least.

Didn't get the letter from the landlady yet, was supposed to arrive yesterday !!! will call her too and tell her I need it.

As for my housing, I'm adequately housed for my children re ages at the moment, so that isn't a problem.

It's so consuming, after all this is sorted, I then have the task of working out all these debts, what a rollercoaster.

Thank you everyone for your kind thoughts, wishes, hugs, advice and your time, your loyalty and your tears. My intention wasn't to upset people and I apologise.

I will post when I can to update and apologise for disappearing, this time is just so tiring with everything else too and little sleep.

Thank god I found a sense of humour today though......I needed it !!!

i_am_really_rich!!

CGS, my thoughts are with you, reading this thread has made me so mad. I have been in a similar situation, although not so desperate. We were in private rented accomodation and the landlord wanted to sell. We were advised by the council not to move out until we were formally evicted by the courts as we would definitely be IH and they would not help. I know this is of no help to you but we stayed put until the bailiffs came and the council did help in the end. This is even after a dispute over rent which he took us to court for in the end anyway. Also as for the school saying that they would involve SS if you moved the kids. This for one thing is totally out of order. I work in a school and very closely with SS. They will only take action under child protection rules if they deem the child to be in, oh what's the phrase....um....... god can't remember but it's something like imminent risk of harm or neglect. I'm sure someone else will be able to tell you the right phrase. Anyway if they are healthy, well fed and clean then SS have no reason to take any action. This need not worry you at all. I know that is easy for me to say. Try writing to the lead council member at your local council and the lead member for housing at the county council. They are very good in my area and after all they want your votes and tend to be able to make more of a difference than the MP's (our local MP seems to be very good at getting his picture in the paper and nothing else!!). I am sorry if someone else has said all this. Good luck and please remember as others have said, you will not be sleeping on the streets. Even people that are evicted from council accomodation are not put on the streets, so why should they not help you in the end. Just stay put where you are until you are forced out - do not move out just because your landlady says so, this is the worst you can do. Good luck and keep us posted.

Sorry, I waffled a lot there

Petal_3

Hi there CGS

Just popping in to say Hi - hope today is a bit brighter in some way.

Thinking of you
~x~

scaredy_cat_2

hi am not always very articulate when typing here so apologies if rambling and also haven't read all the threads except your last update cgs.

With your daughter having a hearing problem and them both being more settled maybe dr/health visitor could emphasise this in letter as well as depression to give you more points on housing list. Also are you able to get disability living allowance? My sister has a hearing problem and my parents got it and now she gets it herself. Also have you heard of charities such as the rowntree foundation - they help out families not sure if only with special needs and i don't know to what extent but they did give my parents money for a holiday i do think this was because of my sisters hearing combined with lack of 'disposible income' in the house! But this foundation is interested in family and have done lots of research they might have other areas of help.

https://www.jrf.org.uk they don't have anything on website about contact if you need help but i know they do/did help individuals. Having just looked they also have section on housing so not just special needs - they might be worth a phonecall?

I am also in devon - not sure if this means i can do anything but pm me if you want to x

msmicawber

Dear CGS,

Thank you for the update, and I'm sorry if I was pressing you to do something that you don't feel able to at present.

When you're next speaking to your Councillor, suggest that he puts his feet in a bowl of water with some potassium permanganate in it. That should sort out his athlete's foot, so that he can give you his full attention! (just thought while you're in a lighter mood, I'd run with it.)

Best wishes, as always.