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Butti

katsu wrote: »

She says she does not like it when I use too many words

She says it also means other people don't listen to me as much/respect amy knowledge and that reflects badly on her

I've been giving some presentations recently and someone told me that another presenter gives shorter answers to questions than I do, so gets to the end faster. I know this person is likely to be right. I've just always been like this.

Kat

Look at the above (I've cut some words out for you!!!)
What does it say?
Where were the positives so that she gave balanced criticism - that criticism sandwich - positive /negative / positive
Ask a few people who you trust what they like about your presentations and what they think you can improve.

What the hell is wrong with using a few more words. It communicates your message more clearly and gets more of you across. Just saying No is about the most harsh response you can give. Try it next time someone asks for a favour (we used it in assertiveness classes and it was the verbal equivalent of being hit in the face with a brick - sorry I used a few more words there but it helped get the message across).

I suggest she has an issue with respect and agree that this is heading in the direction of workplace bullying. A negative comment here, a helpful putdown there. Keep an eye on it - write it down if it is bugging you - this also helps as a record.

My view. This woman has a problem. You don't. You are just being you and that is fine.

B

beanielou

Sally~like that look

clairewop

get on to your council then beanie

i'm off to run the bath

Pooky

Love that fabric Sally. Are you going to recover the chair yourself?

Sammy - Hope C is feeling better - I remember watching one of mine be sick down the stairs once...it bounced on every single one. Blugh. (sprinkle some bicard on the carpet and leave it over night - will absorb the smell and you can hoover it up easily tomorrow)

Beannie - It might be different with you but if you have a bathroom adapted for disability then you go down a banding with the CT here.

Butti

katsu wrote: »

I've had a long week (working away from my usual office base so late nights, long drives etc), it is *that* time of the month, I look and feel tired and my manager decided this morning to give me feedback that made me feel upset (it is not new, she has said this before). Basically I can write concisely but I need to "say less and listen more". I'm talkative and caring by nature - lots of people like that. I know I do tend to give long answers - I like to explain and be sure the other person understands me. My boss is quite different to me, so, of course, she thinks the best way for me to get on is be more like her and she wants me to change.

I fear I am hardwired this way. She says it is easy for me to change! I can feel the tears welling up as I type this

......and what's wrong with being hardwired this way. Its not her way or the high way.

Maybe you could be concise with her Kat. Look up on t'web 'Constructive Criticism'. Next time she has one of these episodes just keep saying to her 'and your positive point is......and your positive point is........and so far you have just given me negatives so you must be moving on to a positive'.

If she's working in HR she must be familiar with positive motivation....well and with workplace bullying too.

B

sallyx

pooky...no chance, if it were a simple re-cover I would but this needs stripping right back to the frame and new stuffing (all the horsehair is hanging out) so major job...just got to save some pennies now

postingalwaysposting

Sally, I love that paper :j Be aware though cream walls will need 'topping up' often. Although you arn't in your bedroom as much as me so maybe not

Oh and can I just add I am really :mad: at this dog and my lil bro.

sallyx

I already have magnolia pap and yes you see all the marks but think I will just go over and the paper seems to match it ok.

Whats happened with the dog?

clairewop

same here pooky if the bathroom passes the inspection i go down a band

katsu

Thanks peep - I need to go back in and do my thanking now I'm logged back in

Sorry I vanished - had a little weep with OH then went out for some air