•○•○• Thursdays Chat Extravaganza - Lurkers Unlurk •○•○•

sammy115

katsu I can't find the words I want to say, but basically its carry on being who you are.....having a mentor you trust and whose opinion you value means an awful lot...this person is not that person.....her opinion does not matter...

ZTD

katsu wrote: »

I've had a long week (working away from my usual office base so late nights, long drives etc), it is *that* time of the month, I look and feel tired and my manager decided this morning to give me feedback that made me feel upset (it is not new, she has said this before). Basically I can write concisely but I need to "say less and listen more". I'm talkative and caring by nature - lots of people like that. I know I do tend to give long answers - I like to explain and be sure the other person understands me. My boss is quite different to me, so, of course, she thinks the best way for me to get on is be more like her and she wants me to change.

I fear I am hardwired this way. She says it is easy for me to change! I can feel the tears welling up as I type this

Of course it's always easy for other people to change to suit herself. Since it relies on other people making an effort and for her to make none - how much easier can it be?

The question is more: What is the *actual* problem? Being different is not a problem - being different is an opportunity.

elfen

katsu, you aren't like your boss, but has anyone really ever complained? No, because everyone is different

sammy115

katsu wrote: »

I like being a warm and caring person. I don't want to barely speak at work. I'm not sure I care if this means I can't become a senior manager and rule the world I appreciate senior jobs are about schmoozing and politics - that (plus having no life coz you work all the time) is why I think I might stop at the level I'm at (at least for the forseeable future, thanks all the same).

I wish I felt respected and allowed to be different to her.

I hope I'm emotional about it coz of the time of the month - but it upsets me when she says it. Other people say I give long answers so I know there is truth in it - I just don't see why it can't be how I am, why do I have to agree I need to change?

You don't have to agree that you need to change...what I used to do when someone insist I wasn't the right fit, was nod in the right places and then go off and do my thing anyway...lots of times it got me in trouble but it meant I remained true to myself rather than compromising my values....

rambling cos had half bottle of wine....

sammy115

what Z said, much more eloquently....

Burlesque_Babe

Scaredy - that is here

http://www.streetmap.co.uk/map.srf?x=403028&y=91633&z=0&sv=BH14%200LY&st=PostCode&lu=N&tl=~&ar=y&bi=~&mapp=map.srf&searchp=ids.srf

Shah is where Fernside Rd meets the B3068 on the crossroads, Danecourt Lodge is on Danecourt Rd, Blue shutters is about 150 metres 'up' north road

Snaggles wrote: »

Oiiii, stop blaming me for your lingerie purchases you lot - I don't blame you for my chocolate habit!! :rotfl: :rotfl:

yeah, yeah,yeah :rotfl:

spud30 wrote: »

I NEED a linky to the purple bra BB :T

here ya go I think it's more purple than the photo
http://www.figleaves.com/uk/product.asp?product=Oola-Rocco-Lace-underwired-plunge-bra&product_id=OL-BB-1211-1&size=42g&colour=Lilac/Purples

scaredy_cat wrote: »

BB, do you know anything about The Foundry Arms?

not much.......to be honest it must be almost the only pub in Poole I've never drunk in :rotfl:It is about 50m from the high street and just under 5 min walk from the bus station. You can then get the bus to where you need to go (lots of choices). It is on the corner of Lagland st which is full of.......'old Poole' residents I think would be the description...not rough, but lots of darts, tattoos, chips and shaved heads

sammy115

Chloe wants me laptop....back in a bit...

beanielou

What sort of work do you do katsu?

Sounds promising Snaggles

scaredy_cat

The Shah would be nice, but i'm not sure if i'm going to be reimbursed for my accommodation, so it's £140 v £80 ish.

katsu

elfen wrote: »

katsu, you aren't like your boss, but has anyone really ever complained? No, because everyone is different

She says she does not like it when I use too many words - like she says "is it raining" and I say "It was earlier, looks like it still is" rather than "yes" or "I think so".

She says it also means other people don't listen to me as much/respect amy knowledge and that reflects badly on her as I am part of her team. She says they tell her this.

I've been giving some presentations recently and someone told me that another presenter gives shorter answers to questions than I do, so gets to the end faster. I know this person is likely to be right. I've just always been like this.

I've been thinking that if I need to be very different to be much more senior, then I'm not sure I want to be much more senior.

I appreciate I could be more brief - but how do you change the way you communicate so radically?