Dealing with inappropriate comments (my weight)

Indie_Kid

(I am probably over reacting...)

Last week, I was in the kicthen with the people I live with and one of them commented on how I never eat - I was heating something up to eat. They rarely see me eat for the simple fact that, my timetable is completely different to theirs and one of us (them or I) are usually out when the other one is cooking.

I ignored this comment and thought nothing of it until they said the same on Friday. What they're fogetting, is that I eat at dinner (tea to some people) time and then maybe have rice pudding or fruit later on.

I walked into the kitchen yesterday and one of them said "Sofie, you've lost a lot of weight" and commented on how my tracksuit top was slightly baggy - if I'd gone down the next size, the arms would've been too tight.

She then went on to say that other people (who we don't live with) have mentioned it and said it's not a bad thing.

She has also made other comments lately and said a load of stuff that has really upset me and keeps on bringing up stuff I don't want to talk about and asking me really personal questions.

How do I deal with this please? Thankfully, it's only this week and next week and then I'm finished with uni.

bugbabe1970

Hya

Didnt want to read and run! Girls can be so horrible to each other cant they?
Have you lost some weight lately or have you been trying to loose weight? Maybe this other girl is jealous of you or something.

If you havent lost weight, just say to her your greatful for her concern, but you do eat and you are not losing weight so you would be greatful if she didnt comment anynore.

If you have lost weight, and are trying to loose weight, just say thankyou for noticing but say its not something you want to discuss.

Do you have any issues with your weight? I only ask as I have had issues with my weight for years and was seriously bulimic in my 20s. I hated anyone making any comments about my weight, whether they were being positive or negative, and 15 years on it is still a sensitive subject for me. Maybe Im going completely in the wrong direction with that comment, but either way, just be polite, say thankyou for her cincern, but youre fine.

bugbabe1970

is it loose weight or lose weight??? I never know!

Indie_Kid

It's lose. I do have problems with my weight. I have stomach problems and when my stomach is playing up, can lose quite a lot of weight. I am not trying to lose weight though.

jamespir

well at least shes not saying your fat

shes trying to be nice dont take offence

Oldernotwiser

It sounds like normal student housemates chat to me;I can't see anything to be offended by.

Indie_Kid

jamespir wrote: »

well at least shes not saying your fat

shes trying to be nice dont take offence

We need the roll eyes smiley back...

itsallinthemind

sh1305 wrote: »

She has also made other comments lately and said a load of stuff that has really upset me and keeps on bringing up stuff I don't want to talk about and asking me really personal questions.

How do I deal with this please? Thankfully, it's only this week and next week and then I'm finished with uni.

Hi

Easter is almost here, so even if your housemates are driving you bonkers, grin and bare it, it really is not worth the hassle/stress, they are housemates, not mates

The weight thing-sounds like normal chit chat, maybe you are looking at it differently as either you have personal issues with it or feel people judge you and therefore are defensive?

I'm not sure what you mean by your first point in the quote, ie: is she being a moo bag, or just getting to know you?

Indie_Kid

itsallinthemind wrote: »

I'm not sure what you mean by your first point in the quote, ie: is she being a moo bag, or just getting to know you?

We've lived toegther since September.

The comments basically referred to my depression and my friend (who she sort of knows and thinks is a weirdo)

CheeseCat

I'm not condoning it whatsoever but it does seem a common trend that people think they can say whatever they like about weight loss and you wont be offended, but the same people would be more sensitive regarding overweight people or weight gain.

I don't think some people see that people losing weight or being underweight can also be offended by unwanted comments, it works both ways!

euronorris

OP, I understand how you feel.

I've had quite a lot of similar comments in the last 6 months or so as I have lost weight too. Like you, it's not intentional. It's just that I don't have as much junk food available to me over here (not my favourites anyway) and I tend to walk a lot more and now have 2 flights of stairs to reach my flat (I didn't in the UK - and I had a car).

I also find it upsetting. And I don't understand it either. Yes, I've lost weight, but i'm not underweight! And why do they have to comment? They would never dream of pointing out how fat you were if you gained weight, so why is it OK the other way around.

I had a similar issue a few years back when I did intentionally lose weight. Quite a few of my friends tried to tell me I was underweight. In reality, I was a size 10 and well within the healthy weight range for my height!

All I can think of is that it is jealously. Nothing more, nothing less, so I just try to ignore it now.