Help me help me brother - his wife is divorcing him

Valli

Asianchick wrote: »

I know it sounds abit stupid but that is exactly what she's trying to do. lol

She thinks he doesnt know but he found some paper work for the solicitors. I think she thinks that the divorce process is like how it is on TV for the celebrities. That it takes 6 weeks and it will all be over with no consequences.

Anyway, my brother is just waiting to see what she'll do next.

But a court won't grant a divorce if she (the petitioner) is still resident (and presumably sharing the same bed as) the co-respondent;
she has to claim grounds for divorce and give him a chance to reply and accept/disagree with them...

I would (with respect) disagree with Kay's suggestion that it's a bit early to get legal advice. Much better for your brother to find out exactly what he can/cannot do from a solicitor than take advice from strangers (albeit very knowledgeable and experienced ones) on a forum.

If he actually wants a divorce then he could counter petition on the grounds of her behaviour - but solicitors love acrimonious divorces because they are nice little earners. Courts nowadays prefers all divorcing couples to go through mediation (which also has to be paid for) and would want to know why not if couples refuse. Mediation is intended to iron out all the little niggles and problems ie accees, maitainance etc NOT to get couples back together.

he could ring round a few solicitors, have a list of questions ready and gop to two or three initial half-hour free consultations. He also needs to check their hourly fees and other fees.

Mediation

Divorce

maybe she wanted him to find the divorce papers (or whatever they were) and go?

loftus

SSB wrote: »

Hi

You can divorce on the grounds of adultery without naming the individual involved, you need to cite adultery with 'unknown woman/man'.

But to divorce on the grounds of adultery you need either an admission or definitive proof that sex has occured.

daska

Kay_Peel wrote: »

It's a bit early to get legal advice or to approach the council since (it sounds to me as though) his wife is just doing what you are doing - arming herself with information about her rights.

So... let me get this right, he's supposed to wait until she decides what she wants to do? Which means he's then running around like a headless chicken trying to catch up? No, if she's already got as far as seeing solicitors then this is exactly the right time for him to get legal advice.

Kay_Peel

I probably didn't phrase that very well.

I was trying to make the point that when relatives point him in the direction of divorce lawyers when the man hasn't even spoken to his wife, then they may be jumping the gun.

Of course his sister can still google the CAB and Law Society sites for information, and even ask MSEs' opinion - but she needs to keep an open mind on how this pan out and only give what she has learned when it's asked for.

I have a friend who wishes that she had never told her family about her failing marriage and her husband's infidelity. They took her to a divorce lawyer and it was only then that she admitted that what she really wanted was a reconciliation. They were reconciled and have been together ever since. I can't tell you how much bitterness there is in that family now. They get no thanks for their well-meant intervention.

daska

please ignore, duplicate post

daska

Possibly you missed that "he found some paper work for the solicitors". That, in conjunction with "I think she's trying to provoke him to violence" might suggest that the wife may be attempting to goad him into giving her exactly what she needs to get an occupation or non-molestation order when she files for divorce. Or of course she may not, she may just be deeply unhappy and trying to get him to understand that he needs to ...[insert whatever she feels in need of].... But if she's already gone to a solicitor then the chances are that she's already decided, even if she hasn't acted on her decision so, even if he wants a reconciliation, it's better for him to know what options are available to him.

Kay_Peel

No I didn't miss it- but without knowing what the paperwork was (a leaflet? an appointment card? a print off from a website? a letter confirming the advice given during a consultation?) then I am cautious.

daska

And that's exactly what he should be: cautious. And the best way to be cautious is to pay attention to what's going on and get as much information as possible to allow yourself to assess the risk. OK, by paperwork I would understand a letter or forms or information specific to their situation rather than a flyer, but your'e correct, the OP hasn't stated exactly what it was.

Just out of interest, have you ever initiated a divorce? I haven't, but by the time my husband got around to telling me he wanted one I was already sensing that it was coming and had consulted a solicitor to find out where I stood - which was barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen with a baby in a sling most of the time...

Kay_Peel

daska wrote: »

Just out of interest, have you ever initiated a divorce? I haven't, but by the time my husband got around to telling me he wanted one I was already sensing that it was coming and had consulted a solicitor to find out where I stood - which was barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen with a baby in a sling most of the time...

Snap! But I had a toddler as well as a new born baby - and my husband is a solicitor. His new lady was also a solicitor specialising in .... you guessed it ...... divorce and family law. :eek:

Talk about a double whammy! :rotfl:

Valli

Kay_Peel wrote: »

Snap! But I had a toddler as well as a new born baby - and my husband is a solicitor. His new lady was also a solicitor specialising in .... you guessed it ...... divorce and family law. :eek:

Talk about a double whammy! :rotfl:

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