Help me help me brother - his wife is divorcing him

Asianchick

Hi

My brother's wife is secretly trying to divorce him. They have 3 kids and live in a council property. She has been committing adultery. I have some questions:

1. Can she kick him out? Both of their names are on the tenancy agreeement and I have told him not to leave. Why should he? It is her decision to go with other men and disrupt her children's lives. If he leaves, he'll have nowhere to live.
2. She has now started to use the children in her stupid games. She keeps on taking them away for days and not asking his permission. Can she do this?
3. What are his rights? Can he tell her not to take them away without his permission?

Thanks in advance.

amandada

At the risk of this being a very unpopular opinion, I'd say that the best help you can give him is to tell him he needs to speak to his wife, or failing that, a solicitor.
Many "amicable" splits go pear shaped when other people, be they friends or family, become involved.
I understand you are doing this out of love and concern for your brother, but you should really take a step back.

Asianchick

amandada wrote: »

At the risk of this being a very unpopular opinion, I'd say that the best help you can give him is to tell him he needs to speak to his wife, or failing that, a solicitor.
Many "amicable" splits go pear shaped when other people, be they friends or family, become involved.
I understand you are doing this out of love and concern for your brother, but you should really take a step back.

Of course! I do not plan to get involved like that. Trust me. I have been burnt many times before.

Al the things you have said above regarding solicitor and communication with each other, I have told him. He can't afford a solicitor right now. All he wants to know is if she can kick him out as he has nowhere to go.

With regards to the kids, I have advised about the free 30 minutes that he can get from the solicitor.

I have to be strong and not get into a slanging match with the wife as that will just worsen the situation. It's breaking my heart though.

Thanks for the advice and being honest.

bryanb

Having seen your user name, I wonder if there are any cultural issues here? Although of course the laws are not altered by this. The advice of a solicitor should be first thing.

Pollycat

Asianchick
I'm a bit confused by your term

My brother's wife is secretly trying to divorce him.

How can it be a secret if you (and presumably he) knows about it?

If your brother can't get a free 30 minute advice session with a solicitor, get him to go along to the Citizens Advice Bureau.

Emmzi

1) Not unless she has some kind of restraiining order put in; longer term it depends who will have the kids full time. But, it's a tenqwncy not an owned property so both could rent somewhere else.

2) She is their mother, yes, she can take them away. Needs access order at divorce to put any limits on this.

3) Through a court, maybe. But the divorce would have to stop being secret then.

Asianchick

Pollycat wrote: »

Asianchick
I'm a bit confused by your term


How can it be a secret if you (and presumably he) knows about it?

If your brother can't get a free 30 minute advice session with a solicitor, get him to go along to the Citizens Advice Bureau.

I know it sounds abit stupid but that is exactly what she's trying to do. lol

She thinks he doesnt know but he found some paper work for the solicitors. I think she thinks that the divorce process is like how it is on TV for the celebrities. That it takes 6 weeks and it will all be over with no consequences.

Anyway, my brother is just waiting to see what she'll do next.

Asianchick

bryanb wrote: »

Having seen your user name, I wonder if there are any cultural issues here? Although of course the laws are not altered by this. The advice of a solicitor should be first thing.

No cultural issues here.

Will advice him to go to the citizens advice bureau.

Asianchick

Emmzi wrote: »

1) Not unless she has some kind of restraiining order put in; longer term it depends who will have the kids full time. But, it's a tenqwncy not an owned property so both could rent somewhere else.

2) She is their mother, yes, she can take them away. Needs access order at divorce to put any limits on this.

3) Through a court, maybe. But the divorce would have to stop being secret then.

Thanks Emmzi

Problem is it's a council tenancy, which means heavily subsidised rent. None of them could afford to rent privately.

I agree. Whoever has the kids would stay but that's another story.

This is so sad.

margaretclare

All divorce is desperately sad. It's like a bereavement - all those bright hopes in the dust.

No divorce is ever 'without consequences'. Both parties lose.

If the tenancy is joint i.e. his name is on the tenancy with hers then, no, she can't kick him out. She could only do that if she could prove he'd been violent and there was a restraining order in place.

I assume, if she is the one committing adultery and yet she's instigating the divorce, she's using 'unreasonable behaviour' on his part as a means of proving that the marriage has irretrievably broken down?

daska

She could be able to get him out of the house by making accusations serious enough to get an occupation order. Do either of them work? Who's the main carer?

He needs legal advice.