Help me help me brother - his wife is divorcing him

Asianchick

daska wrote: »

She could be able to get him out of the house by making accusations serious enough to get an occupation order. Do either of them work? Who's the main carer?

He needs legal advice.

Yes, they both work.

I think she's trying to provoke him to violence with these stupid little stunts. I have told him to keep calm and let her do what she wants. If she gets violent just walk away. It's easier said than done though when she is being aggressive.

daska

OK, then tell him to investigate a non-molestation order...

Asianchick

margaretclare wrote: »

All divorce is desperately sad. It's like a bereavement - all those bright hopes in the dust.

No divorce is ever 'without consequences'. Both parties lose.

If the tenancy is joint i.e. his name is on the tenancy with hers then, no, she can't kick him out. She could only do that if she could prove he'd been violent and there was a restraining order in place.

I assume, if she is the one committing adultery and yet she's instigating the divorce, she's using 'unreasonable behaviour' on his part as a means of proving that the marriage has irretrievably broken down?

She's a total nutjob. I dont want to go into too many details. She will soon see that the grass isnt always greener on the other side, especially when you've got 3 kids in tow.

She will probably deny the adultery and will use unreasonable behaviour as you've said.

daska

If she is aggressive he should keep a diary of her behaviour and use it. The problem is always the kids. Lots of dad's say they they have problems with residency/contact - but that isn't our experience. If there are good reasons why he should/would want residency he needs to get down to the solicitor now! (OK, tomorrow LOL) and if he can prove aggressive behaviour on her part then that will support his application.

Savvy_Sue

He could make an appointment to see his Housing Officer to discuss whether either he or she could get a separate tenancy by coming off the current joint one. He should make it plain that he is NOT seeking to leave!

foi1983

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

He could make an appointment to see his Housing Officer to discuss whether either he or she could get a separate tenancy by coming off the current joint one. He should make it plain that he is NOT seeking to leave!

Thanks you all so much.

I will tell him all the advice you have given me and will update on the situaion.

I have told him to record her violent threats against herself and the kids.

pigpen

My brother's wife is secretly trying to divorce him. They have 3 kids and live in a council property. She has been committing adultery. I have some questions:
She cannot divorce him in secret!! PMSL.. She must see a solicitor.. the papers are filed with the court. He is sent a copy to disagee or agree with.. though contesting it just drags it out longer! He needs a solicitor to look at these papers and advise him where to go from here.


Can she kick him out? Both of their names are on the tenancy agreeement and I have told him not to leave. Why should he? It is her decision to go with other men and disrupt her children's lives. If he leaves, he'll have nowhere to live.
Yes she can.. she can get a letter from a solicitor saying his presence is making her miserable and he must leave for her mental health .. my stepmother did this to my dad.

She has now started to use the children in her stupid games. She keeps on taking them away for days and not asking his permission. Can she do this?
Of course she can.. they are hers she can take them wherever she wants.. so long as they aren't in any danger what is the problem? She doesn't need permission to go out, she isn't a possession. Would you ask permission to take your children to the park? What is the difference other than she is maybe taking them shopping or to seaside or to visit other relatives.

What are his rights? Can he tell her not to take them away without his permission?
No, he can't do a thing.. unless they are in danger.. obviously if she is taking them to sit outside the pub or to a drug dealers or a brothel then he could say it was not a suitable environment etc.. but unless they are in imminent danger he can't do a thing. He has no rights over the house, it belongs to the council.

pigpen

and I am divorcing my husband on unreasonable behaviour rather than adultery because that requires dragging someone elses name through the mud which I think is unfair regardless of whether they have been sleeping with your spouse or not.. they make the decision to do this they are naive and being seduced I am certain.

SSB

Hi

You can divorce on the grounds of adultery without naming the individual involved, you need to cite adultery with 'unknown woman/man'.

Kay_Peel

It's a bit early to get legal advice or to approach the council since (it sounds to me as though) his wife is just doing what you are doing - arming herself with information about her rights.

I'm with BryanB on this. Well meant advice and opinions from relatives are not always helpful in the sort of situation where a marriage is floundering. Only two people can fix it if they want to. Close relatives can be too combative and take sides - only to get egg on their faces when the couple decide to repair their marriage.

Your brother needs to talk to his wife and find out what's going through her mind before events overtake him, I feel.