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Daughter has bitten and scratched

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  • mrcow
    mrcow Posts: 15,170 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Gingham_Ribbon wrote: »
    Also, we did the same with our now 6 year old, and he has NEVER EVER hit another child back, including his brother when he was tiny and pulling hair etc.

    Absolutely - as i said - dealing with effectively is the answer. If you don't, you end up with a child who thinks that hitting or biting their parents is fair game.

    If telling them no doesn't work, then try something that will.
    "One day I realised that when you are lying in your grave, it's no good saying, "I was too shy, too frightened."
    Because by then you've blown your chances. That's it."
  • mrcow
    mrcow Posts: 15,170 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    hayleyc wrote: »
    I don't see how upsetting the child is going to help her understand. Children that age generally don't mean to hurt others, they don't necessarily understand that it hurts the other person. They can't control their feelings and need adults to show them how by providing a positive example, not by shouting at them. I believe in always giving the benefit of the doubt and never assuming there is any bad intention on the child's part unless it's absolutely clear that there is.


    Have you ever seen/dealt with a 3 year old child who is punching their mother before?

    Trust me - "no" from the person who is being hit doesn't work. It's already got beyond that stage.
    "One day I realised that when you are lying in your grave, it's no good saying, "I was too shy, too frightened."
    Because by then you've blown your chances. That's it."
  • Gingham_Ribbon
    Gingham_Ribbon Posts: 31,519 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Agreed. (And I know of 'fathers' who have encouraged their sons to attack their mothers in this way.) But the OP's daughter is just 2 and it's biting and scratching, which although are unacceptable, aren't the same kind of situation. (Some of it at that age is simply tactile.)
    May all your dots fall silently to the ground.
  • flower24
    flower24 Posts: 1,719 Forumite
    Gingham_Ribbon wrote: »
    Young toddlers don't know they're being 'violent'. They're just learning the rules. All it took with our youngest was telling him 'No. Gentle touching'. It didn't need anything more than that. He's just turned 3 now and he's extremely well behaved.

    Totally agree. My son has just turned 2 (today actually :D) and the past few days he has started smacking us. He's not trying to hurt us, it's actually laughing and smiling and being silly kind of smacking, he runs over with arms in the air and crashes them down on our knees etc. Obviously we don't want him to do it to other children and hurt them, so have been telling him 'no' and to be gentle etc.
  • Gingham_Ribbon
    Gingham_Ribbon Posts: 31,519 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    immynjoesmum wrote: »
    Totally agree. My son has just turned 2 (today actually :D) and the past few days he has started smacking us. He's not trying to hurt us, it's actually laughing and smiling and being silly kind of smacking, he runs over with arms in the air and crashes them down on our knees etc. Obviously we don't want him to do it to other children and hurt them, so have been telling him 'no' and to be gentle etc.
    Happy birthday to him! :j

    :A LOL I love that age!
    May all your dots fall silently to the ground.
  • flower24
    flower24 Posts: 1,719 Forumite
    Gingham_Ribbon wrote: »
    Happy birthday to him! :j

    :A LOL I love that age!


    aww thanks :D I love it too :D he seems so much different though to how my daughter was at the same age, she was very independent and grown up, he's still my baba :rotfl:
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