Daughter has bitten and scratched

Gingham_Ribbon

mrcow wrote: »

My post was about the child being violent towards her parents. I wouldn't call it particularly normal. Certainly no child (mine or otherwise) has ever been violent towards me and I would have zero tolerance if they ever tried to be. .

Young toddlers don't know they're being 'violent'. They're just learning the rules. All it took with our youngest was telling him 'No. Gentle touching'. It didn't need anything more than that. He's just turned 3 now and he's extremely well behaved.

Gingham_Ribbon

Gingham_Ribbon wrote: »

Young toddlers don't know they're being 'violent'. They're just learning the rules. All it took with our youngest was telling him 'No. Gentle touching'. It didn't need anything more than that. He's just turned 3 now and he's extremely well behaved.

Also, we did the same with our now 6 year old, and he has NEVER EVER hit another child back, including his brother when he was tiny and pulling hair etc.

randm

There's the family story of how my husband when young used to go around biteing relatives ankles, until one uncle did the same to him, and he stopped immediately, realising that it hurt.

Gingham_Ribbon

randm wrote: »

There's the family story of how my husband when young used to go around biteing relatives ankles, until one uncle did the same to him, and he stopped immediately, realising that it hurt.

Depending on the age of the child, he may not have realised that it hurt other people, just that it hurt him. This doesn't develop an awareness that it's wrong - just that it will happen to him too if he does it.

Weeyin

Does this always come around through not being willing to share?

I was a very greedy child , and my Dad used to confiscate any toys/sweets i wouldn't share. I soon learned to share, albeit a means to end to begin with.

Gingham_Ribbon

Weeyin wrote: »

Does this always come around through not being willing to share?

I was a very greedy child , and my Dad used to confiscate any toys/sweets i wouldn't share. I soon learned to share, albeit a means to end to begin with.

Yes. It's completely normal. and that's exactly what I'd do too. (Though I don't expect them to share everything all the time.

*Louise*

The nursery will have set ways to deal with this sort of thing. Ask them what they do so you can do the same punishment at home perhaps for scratching, so there is some consistency. Totally ignore your DD when she is in the corner, it will soon stop being funny for her.

I would suggest a harsher punishment for biting as opposed to hitting/scratching though. Biting you or your wife is just not on and that should be reinforced (removal of toys/treats for example)

All children will go through this phase though, some last longer than others. I am having problems with my 4yo being punched/bitten/pushed over regularly at nursery....if the other child had been taught from a younger age as you are trying to do then he wouldn't have such problems keeping his hands to himself now.

pukkamum

You need to really shock her when she does this to you or your wife, but i am not talking about biting her back which used to be the way!
A very loud very firm NO THAT HURTS MUMMY/DADDY!!!!! along with swift removal to the step, corner whatever, you ned her to be upset i know it sounds awful but until the reprimand upsets her there will be no lesson learned.

Gingham_Ribbon

pukkamum wrote: »

You need to really shock her when she does this to you or your wife, but i am not talking about biting her back which used to be the way!
A very loud very firm NO THAT HURTS MUMMY/DADDY!!!!! along with swift removal to the step, corner whatever, you ned her to be upset i know it sounds awful but until the reprimand upsets her there will be no lesson learned.

Whereas I'm sure that would work and have no problem with it, why do you think she needs to be upset to learn the lesson? At 5 maybe, but at 2 what she's doing isn't necessarily meant to hurt.

hayleyc_2

I don't see how upsetting the child is going to help her understand. Children that age generally don't mean to hurt others, they don't necessarily understand that it hurts the other person. They can't control their feelings and need adults to show them how by providing a positive example, not by shouting at them. I believe in always giving the benefit of the doubt and never assuming there is any bad intention on the child's part unless it's absolutely clear that there is.