House or Baby, we can't do both!

lellow_lorry

i have a 16 month old daughter/in rented although just bought. My child means more than anything and nothing can beat it(imo) A house is just that...nice if you own it but renting is no bad thing. The rewards from a little'un outweighs this. Once youare in that position you can enjoy it and then look to buying. You will be amazed how you can budget/save and find a way to buy your own home. you just got to be patient.Kids cannot wait if the clock is ticking...home ownership can.

Squish_21

It depends what you want more. Personally it is important to me to own my own home and have that security and feel settled before having children.

Would if be cheaper for you to go part time once you have a child instead of paying those high childcare costs?

ceridwen

I'm someone who is childless by choice.

Having said that though - even if I wanted children my choice would still boil down to "No contest - it HAS to be the house".

I'm sorry that you won't have the money for both. I've seen how unhappy not having children can make those who want them.

However - one has no option BUT to have a home and it doesnt make any sense whatsoever to rent if one can possibly buy - it costs much more across the course of a lifetime to rent a house and the lack of security in privately-rented accommodation is appalling. Things were different back when I used to have to rent - we had huge security of tenure. The way things are now though - it looks to me like many people in the private rented sector are having to move extremely frequently/waste money on the costs of moving/take the risk that the landlord will deduct money for damages. It makes me quail when I see how much time/effort/money some people are putting into rented accommodation - knowing how little security they have and they could well get chucked out (even if they have done nothing wrong).

otterspasm

Have a child! Practical matters can be worked out. If you are happy to accept second hand items where suitable having a child is not expensive at all. We only bought new cot matress (cot itself was family hand-me-down), Car seats and feeding bottles. Everything else was from friends, ebay, charity shops or freecycle! Fabulous.

You may even find you can do both.

I am a full-time at home mum and we are on about £15,000 income from my husbands job. Topped up with child benefit and tax credits its do-able. I have just opened an ebay shop so that we can save up to move house and I can do that from home whilst looking after our youngest (eldest is at school now)

Go for it!

Eric1

ceridwen wrote: »

However - one has no option BUT to have a home and it doesnt make any sense whatsoever to rent if one can possibly buy - it costs much more across the course of a lifetime to rent a house and the lack of security in privately-rented accommodation is appalling.

Not sure about that. House prices are now so high that renting does make sense for a lot of people. As regards security, a huge mortgage and the risk of higher interest rates does not provide much security either.

ingy2010

Thank you all so much for your replies, most of you suggested the baby and most of you are parents so it's encouraging .
I suppose there is a pride element in me wanting both the house and a baby....I often think there is a pressure from society to be a "home owner"and a stigma against people who rent. But you are right, I can buy a house anytime, I only have a few years left to have a baby.

LilacPixie

Baby all the way for me too.

I have a three yer old and a one year old, we are buying again shortly (have to see first) tax credits is a 'massive' £42 every four weeks woopee. It sounds weird but you just adapt your lifestyle to pay for what needs to be paid.

My advice would be once baba arrives get to the baby and toddler groups, registered childminders go there alot ~( certainly in my area) get talking to them and see who would have space for your little one. From my experiences not only is that cheaper than a creche but you baby will have more fluid care in a hoely enviroment. You could always decide to become a registered childminder yourself.

henpecked1

take the view that one day you will inherit from both sets of parents a lump sum of cash to put down on a property. what you wont inherit is a baby. therefore, child first then your life and priorities change and you will wont care about the house side so much

motherof6

Have the baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Definitley!!!!!!!!!!! As the others have said life is too short! bottle of wine, soft music and making babies is fun!! Houses can come at a later date, there is nothing wrong with renting in todays market!!!

lisa88mph

Have a baby!

We had a surprise arrival last year and was scared that we would lose the apartment we currently have a mortgage on. We have had to take a mortgage break for 6 months which has meant that anything we had paid off on the mortgage has actually been added back on in interest due to the break and so we are financially in a worse place and living in an apartment with a 6 month old. Yesterday I found out the Northern Rock fiasco has hit us hard and we are stuck here (to cut a long story short). We don't really have the option of moving and I feel like I have really screwed things up as I have always wanted to own a house, have a family and be able to provide for them etc but when I think about it, its only society that we get this idea from about owning a home and/or having a mortgage. I think its pride that gets in the way and the idea that we are not doing it right if we end up having to rent but end of the day all that matters is the child being brought up in a loving environment whether its rented or an owned house.

Childcare costs are quite bad but don't forget that a lot of companies offer the childcare voucher scheme and if you and your husband both benefit from that you can knock £140 a month off your costs.

I wouldn't say owning a house would make you "happy", I think it could make you proud that you have achieved owning a property but having a child has its own rewards that far outweigh anything that could arguably make you happy.