House or Baby, we can't do both!

ingy2010

Hi,
What would you do? Have a baby or buy a house? My husband and I earn £2600 month between the 2 of us. My wages are £1100. We have been quoted mortgages with payments of £900 pmc including insurance for a £120K morgtage (we live in the South East and we'll have a 10% deposit for a 2 bed house. Our bills are £550 pcm. Now we do want a family. We have been together for 13 years and think time is no longer on our side. I am in my 30s and hubby in his 40s.We have established that we can't afford a baby and a house. We looked into child care and the creche would cost £650 pcm minimum. We have no family nearby, we're on our own. It breaks our hearts. My husband is depressed. He wants a child and so do I. We want and need the security of a home too. What do we do? Anyone with spare £100k? No seriously, I really don't know what to do. I am usually a positive person but this is putting me down.:(

00ec25

sorry to pile on the pressure but you know how expensive children are so realistically you will be paying significant sums on kiddie stuff for a few years so with the clock running having a child is the priority which you can afford now
you can always buy later, but as you appreciate, you can't do the other so easily later

Cannon_Fodder

Move nearer to family, to cutdown the childcare costs?

Millions of people have raised families in rental, without any adverse side effects. But you shouldn't have a child just to give you "some company".

Maybe, if the depression comment is serious, perhaps moving back to friends and family is a better idea for your well-being rather than just a device to help afford a child.

silvercar

You would be eligible for child benefit, child tax credits and child care credits. The latter pay upto 80% of your childcare costs.

ingy2010

Thank you for your replies so far, we don't want a child because we want company? We would get a pet for that lol! We have a family, but not directly near us to help with childcare.My in laws are in their 70s and my parents in France. Moving closer would mean quitting our jobs, in the current climate I don't think it is wise. I looked in the family tax credit. We wouldn't be entitled to very much at all, not for the 1st year anyway. I agree theres is no harm in rising a child in rented accommodation.

sundin13

The tax credit thing can be incredibly confusing and misleading. If you go to the hmrc website and do the "Do I Qualify" thing, try it with various different incomes, and more importantly, childcare costs. If you don't have childcare costs, on your income the tax credits are pretty meagre - but as soon as you throw the 650 pcm childcare costs in you should start to see a big difference. Our income is similar to yours, and we get about 80% of what we pay out.

As previous posters have said, you can always buy a house later. You can't postpone having kids forever. And they're not THAT expensive....no matter what people say. 90% of the things that you're led to believe are necessary just aren't. We had a surprise addition to the family last year, after having given all of our baby stuff away. We got offered so much stuff - equipment, clothes etc... I think I have probably spent less than £250 on my little one in the first year, and that includes nappies.

Jowo_2

I recall a similar thread to this on the benefits board some months ago but I doubt if I can find the thread now.

The consensus response from parents on low incomes is that it can be done, they simply became much better at living within their means, adjusting to the lower income and ultimately the baby fits into whatever budget the household has, its not either/or.

Plus there were a plethora of tips given in how to live on less income and how to avoid high child related costs - plenty of info on this website.

kaych

£900 a month on a 125k mortgage seeems quite a lot. have you looked anywhere else or maybe ask a broker to find a cheaper deal?

My partner and I are looking at this mortgage recommended by our broker from Abbey, it's a 2 year tracker, 2.69% for a 143k mortgage, which works out around £650 (can't remember the exact amount) for us.

svmitche

We just reconciled ourselves to not being able to buy for the foreseeable future and are raising our family (1 and 1 soon-to-be) in a rented home. It's not ideal, but it can be done. I am looking at the longer term - once the kids are at school then I can get back to work and hopefully we can sort something more permanent out.

We could have a better financial standard of living if I was working now, but we have chosen to live frugally for now on one income, and have been helped immensely by the people on this forum!!

bodgerx

kaych wrote: »

£900 a month on a 125k mortgage seeems quite a lot. have you looked anywhere else or maybe ask a broker to find a cheaper deal?

My partner and I are looking at this mortgage recommended by our broker from Abbey, it's a 2 year tracker, 2.69% for a 143k mortgage, which works out around £650 (can't remember the exact amount) for us.

Agreed. Even with 10% deposit I think you have a bad deal if you have been quoted £900 per/month.

Being a father of two, I've found that the first two years of a child's life are actually the cheapest. To the point where for our oldest we calculated a net profit in the first year over the previous year with no kids at all! It's the teenage years that are the costly ones...

Everyone's experience varies, and people get by - you live within your means.

Manual_Reversion

I'd suggest an aphrodisiac and a bottle of wine - then bed (or wherever you fancy!)

I think you'd deeply regret destroying your chance of having children simply because you wanted to buy a house.

Make babies, keep hold of your deposit if you can (you can) and buy in a couple of years when houses are cheaper.

Bear in mind that the span of time for having children is small compared with your entire lifetime available to buy a house.

If you're with someone who you love and are happy to have children with then get on with it.

Kind regards.