Gemmzie's DFW Diary

postingalwaysposting

gem are you ok? you seem really low in your post these few days... anything we can help with?

Gemmzie

Thanks PAP, I think it's just all got too much and it's just hit me and I don't know what to do about it.

I know what the options are but I can't make sense of repercussions of them in my head, if that makes any sense at all.

postingalwaysposting

aww gem, do you want to speak about it? is there anyone you can speak to face to face? yes it does make sense, have you been feling like this for a while or has something sparked it?

Gemmzie

Tried speaking to parents but dad just gets all mighty and I-know-everything and just shouts, plus I'm still mad at him. Mum just says it can't go on like it is which is pretty unhelpful. Don't really have anyone else around at the moment, everyone's off doing the uni thing or just busy with life.

It's been brewing for a while, not sure why its come to a head now, probably the time of year, it isn't the best time to know me.

postingalwaysposting

aww gem i loves ya hun, and i am glad to know you if its summer or winter i am here for you

is this about their debt rather than yours? are they not happy about the situation? you were doing great sorting out yours and thier finances ~ what has changed?

Gemmzie

It's not even about debt, money but not debt. And I'm mad at my dad because of the car issue, not sure if you caught that little saga.

I'm happy to be sorting their debt, it's good escapism and mine will be gone come January.

It's everything else that's causing a problem. I'm at uni two days a week, doing another job three days a week and then working in retail 16 hours weekends and in between and it's just too much.
I have SAD and despite the vits, the drugs, the lights - I feel awful. I'm determined to stick uni out because I love the course and the people and I think it's really doing something for me as a person (if that makes sense).
I love the volunteer job because the experience and the opportunity is amazing but they are supposed to be paying me now due to the volume of hours and the job itself has kinda got bigger since I started.
I hate the retail job and I would rather put pokers in my eyes than go, it's got really bad and it's not even that the day to day role itself bothers me, not sure what it is. But it's my only income so I'm stuck.

beanielou

Huggles Gemmzie.
Keep going hun

postingalwaysposting

gem can you ask your volunteer place if they will indeed start paying you so you can have the weekends off and not work in retail? it seems like you are wearing yourself out and the sad isnt helping.

Gemmzie

Well they were supposed to have started paying me 1st October but it hasn't happened, am still holding out hope but I have a sinking feeling that it won't happen.

Gemmzie

I'm fixed