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How..do you bring up a 7 yr old with..

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  • liney
    liney Posts: 5,121 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    [FONT=Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif]"God grant me the serenity
    to accept the things I cannot change;
    courage to change the things I can;
    and wisdom to know the difference. "[/FONT]

    You have done all you can. Now it's time to direct your energy onto something positive, and think of ways to increase your own income, or cut costs.
    "On behalf of teachers, I'd like to dedicate this award to Michael Gove and I mean dedicate in the Anglo Saxon sense which means insert roughly into the anus of." My hero, Mr Steer.
  • mazza111
    mazza111 Posts: 6,327 Forumite
    OP I got £5 for my 2 kids every week. Now only 1 is at home I get a whole £5/week.

    But at least I can look back and see the nice young adults that my children have become and be proud that it was because of me, and not because of anything my x did or didn't do.

    I know it's frustrating to think he's getting away with only paying this, but at the end of the day, your children will work it out for themselves. I know my daughter already has, and my son is close to follow suit.

    All you can do is do your best with what you've got. I actually try not to spend the £5 a week, and put it aside for the kids to give them a wee treat now and again.
    4 Stones and 0 pounds or 25.4kg lighter :j
  • jamespir
    jamespir Posts: 21,456 Forumite
    James, what is your situation, do you work? you only joined recently and have so many posts............

    ive been here for 2 years thats hardly recently
    Replies to posts are always welcome, If I have made a mistake in the post, I am human, tell me nicely and it will be corrected. If your reply cannot be nice, has an underlying issue, or you believe that you are God, please post in another forum. Thank you
  • pukkamum
    pukkamum Posts: 3,942 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    James, what is your situation, do you work? you only joined recently and have so many posts............
    hes been here longer than you...............
    I don't get nearly enough credit for not being a violent psychopath.
  • retro_bluebell
    retro_bluebell Posts: 1,276 Forumite
    January20 wrote: »
    Just wait until your child happens to find your CSA papers - as my dd did a couple of weeks ago -and says: "Is that all he gives you?" with a disgusted look on her face. It made up for all the sacrifices we had to make over the years.

    As I've always said to dd, what we have, we've got ourselves. We should be proud.

    That's not to say I don't believe absent parents shouldn't contribute. I think they should.


    Im soo looking forward to this day (call me what you like I dont care lol).

    I fought the CSA for years over maintenance and was awarded the princely sum of fiver a week....we never saw a penny he vanished off the face of the planet....everything my boys got was from me working full time to provide for them with the hope that one day they will realise that I did do my best for them as Im sure their dad will rear his ugly head at some point in their lives. OP do you really need his money?? The satisfaction of doing it by yourself is worth more than a fiver a week IMO.

    ETA saying that if you do get money off him then I would put it away in a separate account for your child. Maybe thats just me though Im stubborn lol
    **"Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin."**
  • Lizzieb151
    Lizzieb151 Posts: 230 Forumite
    It can be really frustrating when they seem to have it all but you just have to get on with it and soon enough your son will understand.

    I have dealt with this on both sides as I get nothing from my ex towards my son who's 11 and I am proud of that as years down the line he could not throw it back at me whereas on the other hand I have a stepdaughter who my OH doesn't maintenance for as he is a stay at home dad but when he does work, we do pay yet his ex seems to be a lot better off than us with new cars, horse riding lessons, ballet lessons, football training etc all the things that we can't afford :(

    But I am happy to manage without any help from my ex at all.
  • pukkamum wrote: »
    hes been here longer than you...............

    Only 3 months more.............
    must have just noticed him then, does he need someone to speak for him? lol............... just kidding mates.....:rotfl:
    Blackpool_Saver is female, and does not live in Blackpool

  • Nursebooby wrote: »
    ..a £5 a week contribution via the CSA? Almost a year of stress from the git, shopped him to benefits fraud, tax fraud..nothing from either..no feed back. He works the 32 hrs minimum, now on the side got a van and mower doing gardening spare time, partner a bloody bank manager..they even sell second hand cars on the side!! No one seems to care. Grr..sorry hormones :mad:

    Easy done! I brought my son up for over a decade without a penny from his father. I am proud of that fact and wouldnt change it for the world. His father has now been forced to pay support but it all goes direct to sons savings.

    There are 2 ways you can look at this

    1 Look at what you havent got - ie child support
    2.Look at what you HAVE got - a wonderful child that you do the best you can for

    Please dont eat yourself up with what they have got... life is short.
  • flower24
    flower24 Posts: 1,719 Forumite
    Do you really want any money at all from such a piece of scum? If I were you I'd scrap what you get and cut all ties with him.

    My dad never paid a penny to my mum for me and he is an architect :eek: my mum trained to be a teacher while I was little and had 2 part time jobs, makes me respect her so much and I'm so proud that she brought me up without any help from that !!!!!! :D
  • pigpen
    pigpen Posts: 41,152 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Only 3 months more.............
    must have just noticed him then, does he need someone to speak for him? lol............... just kidding mates.....:rotfl:

    Please don't look at my post count then!! :eek: :eek:
    LB moment 10/06 Debt Free date 6/6/14
    Hope to be debt free until the day I die
    Mortgage-free Wannabee (05/08/30)
    6/6/14 £72,454.65 (5.65% int.)
    08/12/2023 £33602.00 (4.81% int.)
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