Please help me or tell me if I am doing the right thing

So_Sad_Angel

starbella2004 wrote: »

Really good luck with it. I'll prob be on here myself soon so I suspect you'll be telling me how happy you are!

Hi starbella & welcome to the BR board.

If BR is something you may have to consider then get reading threads & start to build up knowledge...ask questions or PM if you prefer....there is lots of support.

Angiexx

So_Sad_Angel

Feeling_worried wrote: »

Thanks

Ive spent the whole day staring in to space and at my laptop screen and generally feeling crap about going bankrupt , I really dont want to do it

Don`t rush...it was June08 when BR was first recommended to me but since then I have tried all ways to avoid it.....obviously the debt is still there though as I hav`nt managed to get a job that paid as well as my career did:(

There are some diaries on here & it may help to read what others have been through...maybe others can suggest a few more that may help.

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=403543&highlight=

gmt0587

I agree 110% with everything everybody has said so far, i myself declared around £200k of debt and now 3 years down the line have never been so happy or well off. The only other advice i would offer is speak to a specialist not just the CAB and if you like get a second opinion. If you do decide to do the dirty deed just make sure you follow the do's and dont's prior to going to court to make your life a little easier.

Feel free to PM me or message me if i can be of any help

Gary

Feeling_worried_2

Hi

Thanks for the advice , Im just scared but whenever I try and deal with my debt I do start to get angry , unhappy and shut myself off from everyone , which isnt ideal for my partner or daughters. I just cant deal with the stress of it anymore , I blank it out of my mind and every now and then it comes back and eats away at me.

My partner really wants me to go BR and I know its the best way , Its just taking that step. I think the stigma attached with BR from times of old still puts me off. I know its changed alot but still its the thought of it.

My partner has 95k equity in the house , But I never put myself on the mortgage , as I had the debts and didnt want to risk the house. I would never forgive myself if we lost the house.

I have no savings anymore due to being out of work for a year and I have nothing worth over £1000 , just have things like laptops , consoles and clothes really , Just personal items.

One thing that worries me is that if I get myself a decent job , all my excess wage will go to creditors for 3 years? and that will defeat the whole purpose of me going BR. Its a catch 22 really and its been eating away at me for the last week. Really its a question of if I want to put my life on hold for 6 months to 12 months isnt it , it will make me a much happier person.

Im off out with the kids and partner for a day out now to take minds off this and give them a good day out , I hope I dont just sound like a !!!!!!!!!! trying to get out of reponsibility. I wish I never got the first loan out that I did , being ripped off of around 8k by a friend and ex gf destroyed me financially and mentally for a while and everything spiralled out fo control from there , I just gave up caring about anything and my money just slowly evaporated until nothing was left and I lost an amazing well paid job.

Lessons learned though and its made me a better person.

starbella2004

Hope you had a good day out! You do sound really low and depressed. To be honest, it might be worth you going out and getting a good job again, if not only to take your mind off everything. If you have to give up excess wages then so be it in a way - perhaps you could think of it as paying back some of the loans each month. I have no idea about how long you would need to do that for or anything as I've not looked into it yet for myself yet - although as I said earlier, I think it's probably the only option for me now too.

I just wonder if it might be worth you having some kind of counselling to help you become more positive about life again? I know guys still think there are stigmas attached to counselling but just think about people in the US - just about everyone has a personal counsellor to help them through daily life, whether they've got real problems or not!! There's really nothing wrong with it at all and you can get it free on the NHS if you go and see your Dr - although there's bound to be a waiting list of course!

Anyway - just wanted to say keep your chin up - there's nothing that can't be fixed in life, particularly if you've all got good health.

Feeling_worried_2

Clear head and thoughts

I'm doing it , I will be going bankrupt and will start the process tomorrow. I just hope at no point I regret it and when its done , the person that started my life of debt by using my friendship & empathy too his financial gain will see just what damage he cause me over the years and hopefully karma will catch up with him.

Feeling_worried_2

starbella2004 wrote: »

Hope you had a good day out! You do sound really low and depressed. To be honest, it might be worth you going out and getting a good job again, if not only to take your mind off everything. If you have to give up excess wages then so be it in a way - perhaps you could think of it as paying back some of the loans each month. I have no idea about how long you would need to do that for or anything as I've not looked into it yet for myself yet - although as I said earlier, I think it's probably the only option for me now too.

I just wonder if it might be worth you having some kind of counselling to help you become more positive about life again? I know guys still think there are stigmas attached to counselling but just think about people in the US - just about everyone has a personal counsellor to help them through daily life, whether they've got real problems or not!! There's really nothing wrong with it at all and you can get it free on the NHS if you go and see your Dr - although there's bound to be a waiting list of course!

Anyway - just wanted to say keep your chin up - there's nothing that can't be fixed in life, particularly if you've all got good health.

I think its more hurt building up inside me from what caused the debt. Im positive about life , very very positive but this debt is all that I have in life that gets in teh way. It needs to go , its the opnly thing from my past that is still present that causes me negativity.

starbella2004

Feeling_worried wrote: »

I think its more hurt building up inside me from what caused the debt. Im positive about life , very very positive but this debt is all that I have in life that gets in teh way. It needs to go , its the opnly thing from my past that is still present that causes me negativity.

Well that's amazing and actually you're very lucky then. Well done - just get it sorted and get on with the rest of your life. YOU CAN DO IT!!! Good luck.

Feeling_worried_2

starbella2004 wrote: »

Well that's amazing and actually you're very lucky then. Well done - just get it sorted and get on with the rest of your life. YOU CAN DO IT!!! Good luck.

Thanks , I will just see how things go.

As for getting a new job , I am going self employed.

For the last year I have been raising money for charity by doing events and looking after my daughters full time , I have been searching for a new job for around 6 months now but I admit I have been very picky. I've wanted to go self employed and I still can even if I am BR , Things are looking up and maybe going BR will be a godsend , My partner thinks it will be for me.

Feeling_worried_2

Can I still be given an IPA after the BR has been discharged?? or is it just while I am actually BR that I can be given one?