care work - difficult people

passatrider

Just goes to show that you can't please some people no matter how hard you try..best out of it I reckon!

alwaysonthego_2

You probably are not cut out for care work. If you look at it from her point of view, she probably is very lonely and it is a form of control. Rise above it and smile sweetly and get on with it.

honeyD

alwaysonthego wrote: »

You probably are not cut out for care work. If you look at it from her point of view, she probably is very lonely and it is a form of control. Rise above it and smile sweetly and get on with it.

I have been doing that since I started! I have TRIED and TRIED! I let everything go but when I am getting upset because of it even when not at work then its not right surely? I dont think it makes me not cut out for the work when I have people requesting to personally have me do their calls? I must be doing something right... just this isnt working.
She's also not alone, she has family visit so I dont think she is lonely, if she is then she has a funny way of making me stay.
I go in and if I do everything and there is nothing left, I sit and chat and watch tv with her since its on and it gives something to talk about. She now doesnt like me watching the tv and asks me if I go there to waste time.. yet if I leave when everything is done she complains about that too! I just cannot win!
(Awaiting post to say I shouldnt be watching tv... sigh)

alwaysonthego_2

honeyD wrote: »

I have been doing that since I started! I have TRIED and TRIED! I let everything go but when I am getting upset because of it even when not at work then its not right surely? I dont think it makes me not cut out for the work when I have people requesting to personally have me do their calls? I must be doing something right... just this isnt working.
She's also not alone, she has family visit so I dont think she is lonely, if she is then she has a funny way of making me stay.
I go in and if I do everything and there is nothing left, I sit and chat and watch tv with her since its on and it gives something to talk about. She now doesnt like me watching the tv and asks me if I go there to waste time.. yet if I leave when everything is done she complains about that too! I just cannot win!
(Awaiting post to say I shouldnt be watching tv... sigh)

I am afraid it is the nature of the job, you will come across very difficult service users at times, but it is how you handle the situation that matters. BTW you should not be watching tv whilst on shift, could be why she gets shirty especially if she is contributing to the care fees.

Errata

Clearly you are finding your role in relation to this client difficult. I have to say, you wouldn't be carting the rubbish through my home either and would be using my back door. I'm not clear about what you are supposed to do during your visits, but if they are of 30 inutes duration I struggle to understand how you can find time to sit down because you have nothing to do.
Have you discussed coping strategies with other colleagues that visit the client ? Or with your manager ? Have you asked for further training in interpersonal and communciation skills ?

honeyD

The reason I watch tv is because she complained about me leaving before the 30 minutes was up. I thought if I stay for the 30 minutes then that should end that complaint. This womans house is clean, its tidy and there is not a lot to do which makes me wonder why she has us for 30 minutes. The jobs I have to do tend to be making the bed, taking out the trash, washing up if there is any, helping her to shower/dry herself and dress, help her make breakfast and drinks. When I go in I make the bed, I fold the clothes, I bring dirty laundry downstairs. I take out the trash etc, I make a cup of tea if she wants one. She has been making her own breakfast but I will take the fruit skins out to throw for the birds so she doesnt have to go outside. I'll wash dishes if there are any there, I'll clean the benches etc.
A problem with her is she doesnt want her call early so I have to go later and by time I get there she has already showered, dried and got dressed so I cannot help with that if she doesnt want me there earlier. Of all the jobs I have to do it takes tops 10-15 minutes. The rest I TRY to chat to her but she is not the easiest person to hold a conversation with. To be perfectly honest I dont even enjoy what she watches on tv as its about animal cruelty and that kind of thing which upsets me so I dont tend to watch it anywhere else. Yet I watch it as it is a discussion point. Please tell me what I must do, if I do not watch tv as I do not feel I can sit for 15 minutes looking at the floor or out of the window when there is nothing else to do and she doesnt want me to leave! Its ridiculous. Unless you are there you dont know the full story to it, you can only judge and say Im bad at my job because of what I write but Im not very good at explaining things. Im not the only carer in the company to watch tv, another does crosswords even!
Also the trash bag wasnt even halfway full but she still wanted it emptying and there was nothing leaking in it so wouldnt go on the floor so I didnt see a problem taking it out the front when the door is just off the kitchen.

honeyD

I must say though that this is not just me, I was told on meeting her that she has been through numerous care companies.

I_know_my_ABC_and_my_CMYK

Money_maker wrote: »

Speak to your manager. If she is known to be a difficult client then nothing will reflect back on you. Most good care companies will also respect your wishes if you ask not to go to that client again so you do have the opportunity to 'pass on her'.
Are you under 25? Some folks get quite irate when they get a young carer in and dont give her enough of a chance. Or it could just be that she's made a career of moaning - you do meet allsorts in this type of job and I'm sorry to say that these people DO exist.

Is it also possible to ask for a carer NOT to be sent to a particular elderly person?

I have a problem with a carer that sometimes is sent to my father. For some reason she makes a point of phoning me up and she is a total !!!!! on the phone with me, she's really nasty, I have absolutely no idea why she is like this, she only does it to me, and it concerns me what her caring is like towards my father.

honeyD

I_know_my_ABC_and_my_CMYK wrote: »

Is it also possible to ask for a carer NOT to be sent to a particular elderly person?

I have a problem with a carer that sometimes is sent to my father. For some reason she makes a point of phoning me up and she is a total !!!!! on the phone with me, she's really nasty, I have absolutely no idea why she is like this, she only does it to me, and it concerns me what her caring is like towards my father.

Yes you can request this. One of my clients' family have requested not to have a certain carer.

Errata

I_know_my_ABC_and_my_CMYK wrote: »

Is it also possible to ask for a carer NOT to be sent to a particular elderly person?

I have a problem with a carer that sometimes is sent to my father. For some reason she makes a point of phoning me up and she is a total !!!!! on the phone with me, she's really nasty, I have absolutely no idea why she is like this, she only does it to me, and it concerns me what her caring is like towards my father.

It certainly is possible. Can you ask your dad if she's ok with him, or pop in during one of her calls ? If you feell she is discourteous towards you, you will need to be very specific about what she says to you and how she says it, then speak to the agency about your concerns.