care work - difficult people

honeyD

Today wasnt too bad, but then she does have her ok days sometimes, they just seem rare lol. :rotfl:
I had a chat to her, mostly about nothing in particular but chatting all the same. Showed her some photos that Id taken with me to show another lady and we had a chat about those. Was there the full half hour and only complaint was she likes her tea hot and I had put the kettle on to boil, went to make the bed then came back to it lol so it wasnt hot enough? lol. I did say it was but let her say it all anyway.
I didnt leave feeling full of dread so thats a good thing. Will see how next week goes now. Ive had my rota for next week and Im getting a bit fed up myself!
This lady doesnt like to have such early morning calls but they keep giving them so I will speak to her about re-arranging some to suit her and maybe then she will see Im willing to help out a bit better? I dont know if this will open a can of worms and her expect it all the time lol as some days I know I cant change it.

I am realising too that the company is not the best out there, but I have to stick it out for now as I cant afford to leave without anything else to go to. We are hoping to move house soon so I need the money.

doodlesmum

Hi,
I have been working in community care nearly 17yrs and have my NVQ 3 and have had the odd service user in the past that no matter how hard anyone tried you could"nt totally pleased them a lot of the time it"s not personal it could just be the persons personality.

She could be lonely and may well be annoyed at the fact she is not getting her full time not your fault i know i know how tight calls are put together.

The agency tbh are being bang out of order cutting her time she should get what she pays for do you know what her orginal call times were have they always been early calls or the agency have just shifted them earlier to suit them.

The best thing i can suggest is to be as your usual self see if it carries on then you would need to address it with your employers because it then is neither fair on either you or the client.

It is a really rewarding job to do i would"nt do anything else it does sound like she is warming to you it may be that it takes her time to trust people at the end of the day as a carer we are going into a persons home we are strangers to each other when we first meet we are doing in most cases personal care so there is that working relationship to be built up it must be difficult to have a a person do things for you that you can no longer do yourself.

If your employers are really pushing your calls tight it might be worth pointing that out it is their responsibility to deliver the care package they should not be cutting a service users call short i know a lot do though.

Good luck.

Doodlesmum

PS congrats on the weight loss that good going .

Blackpool_Saver

speedbird1973 wrote: »

How beautifully patronising! So you were working in care homes at the age of 11! I provide consultancy for most of the UK care home providors, and companies like Castleoak that provision care homes.

Unfortunatly the big issue at the moment is not carers and the training. It's the huge deficit of care beds that is looming. The priority will be staffing at existing standards to meet the future needs, not upping the skill set and qualification of carers. Care homes locate are located close to good sources of labour, not where the old people are stagnating. It does take a certain type of person to do a demanding job for s0d all money!

I don't disagree with your thought that the system needs an overhaul, but it's not going to happen, and there are more pressing issues to be faced in the care sector. I'm afraid you and your friends know a lot less than you think.

Yes and up chimneys, anyway let's get past that.

I assume this huge deficit in care beds is due to the elderly living longer, and tell me about the other more pressing issues please.....

Do you work/consult with the Commission for Social Care Inspection ?

bettybelle

Hi OP

I worked in social care for 3 years and then that was enough for me! I worked in a residential unit for adults with learning disabilities and some of them had severe behaviour problems. On a training course I attended, we were told that it was OK to blow off steam to our colleagues - in fact it was called de-briefing.

I found it so much easier to be able to deal with bad behaviour when I knew I could catch up with some colleagues later to get everything off my chest. So perhaps you could arrange to meet with some colleagues for coffee once a week or so and have a good rant (obv maintaining confidentiality)?

However you're doing a good job. Unfortunately like most social care workers you've been thrown in at the deep end without proper training but that seems to be the way of it. It really does take a special person to do those jobs, it's not enough just to be caring as I once thought, it helps to have a thick skin. I didn't which was why I eventually left!

I wish you all the best and also wish to congratulate you on the weight loss!

honeyD

Thankyou

I am seeing this lady as a challenge now. Im going to win her over..or something like that! Im being sympathetic to her various ailments and also seeing her side of things about the time of her calls which she has requested time and time again to be later but the company dont seem to listen. I get annoyed about it too since Im the one having to listen to the ranting and raving, not the company or those who set everything in place!
Im trying though, Im chatting and staying the full time so we will see how this next week goes as Im seeing her a few times.

stripedwellies

honeyD wrote: »

Thankyou

I am seeing this lady as a challenge now. Im going to win her over..or something like that!

That's the spirit!

The photos was a great idea.

Nixer

Well done honeyD - it sounds as if she might be thawing out a little.
As the daughter of an often difficult and cantankerous elderly woman who may end up in need of care at some point, I am glad that there are carers out there who care about trying to do a good job in often difficult circumstances.

honeyD

Things have been ok so far. Ive been staying the allocated time (30 mins). Shes been ill for the last few days so I dont know if thats it lol and I did change the times around so I could give her a later call so hopefully she sees Im trying to be a good carer to her lol.

A problem I now have is with a different lady. She's always polite and everything like that, no issues with the way she acts towards me as she is always generally nice and chatty. The problem I have is other people going to her home and they smoke and drink while I am there. Im not totally comfortable with the smoking as I dont do it myself but put up with it because its not my home, although I do stink when I leave. The drinking is sometimes before noon or just after and I really dont like that since I dont know the people and it makes me uneasy. Im not generally around people drinking anyway and its their choice to drink but I dont think its fair for me to be going into that environment? Theyre not drunk, but drinking lager or spirits. Im sure the lady I help is drinking it too as she had a big bottle of it behind her today.

Errata

I can understand your concerns, but that kind of thing happens when someone's home collides with someone's workplace.
Talk to your manager. It may be part of the contract between agency and client that the client agrees not to smoke or allow others to smoke during a care worker's visits.
As far as the drinking is concerned, if it makes you feel unsafe ask your manager to carry out a risk assessment if there is no agreement covering alcohol consumption in the clients homes during care workers visits.

honeyD

Hi all, just wanted to update this a little.
Having had a few weeks I thought I was getting somewhere with the woman, she hasnt been well and seemed to be nicer to me and letting me help etc.
Well its all gone right back again and I can just do no right.
Well I just cant do it anymore so Ive asked not to have to go there and I will be taken off in a few weeks. She has just really been affecting my mood and I dont think it is fair to everyone else for me to go in feeling low because of someone else. Ive tried my best and failed, so I give up on it. Not going to try anymore, sick of having it all thrown back at me every day again. Its not a nice way to feel all the time so Ive had enough.
She doesnt like me leaving early, but she doesnt like me sitting and doing nothing (when there is nothing to do). Everything has to be her way which is the longest/most awkward way to do things - like taking the rubbish out to the bin, Even though she was at the front door already I had to walk back through the house to the back and around the side to get to the front and put it in the bin! Everything is just made to be more awkward and annoying! That is just a little example but there has been a lot more and worse.
The company have also changed policy so however long you are there is how long you get paid for but I think she may still pay for the lot anyway, I dont know its just a guess.