care work - difficult people

Blackpool_Saver

this is exactly why untrained people should not have these responsibilities, not even level 2, it's scary, I feel sorry for you, have you had any training at all?

bitsandpieces

One other thing - if your client is paying for (or has been allocated funding for) 30mins care, it may be annoying her if you're only there for 20-30mins. Even more so if she doesn't hear you arrive so thinks you're doing less than that.

I'm not saying it's your fault if you need to do less than 30mins there - some agencies and councils schedule appointments so you can't give the allocated time to each client unless you have your own helicopter to get between appointments This does annoy people, though, and understandably so - imagine if you hired someone for regular 30mins work slots and they only stayed for 20-30mins each time.

Savvy_Sue

It probably is worth making your manager aware that you don't seem able to make P happy, you may find she's like this with all her carers or she may just be unhappy whenever she gets a new one.

jackieb

Tell your manager. I had a lady who I worked with, and there was more than one occassion when I had to go to the bathroom for a wee cry. I've done this for about 10 years so I like to think I know what i'm doing. I'm pretty easy going and like to think myself as empathetic. I've got on with everyone else i've worked with. I think this old lady took pleasure in making me feel uncomfortable. She really wasn't nice at all.

I put up with it for several months before telling my manager I wasn't willing to be treated like I was. I know what you mean when you say it gets you down. It's not worth it.

Are you her only, or main carer? If other people go in, are they treated the same way?

jay1976

Hi, im sorry to hear your experiences so far, Ive worked in the care sector for nearly ten years now, You firstly as already said need to inform your manager of the problem and ask for support.
Older people can be a little bit demanding the way ive found around this is to have a sense of humour, try to connect with the client talk to them. Some clients who you just cant get on with or seem to please, i always take the aproach of saying to myself "that they cant help being the way they are" due to their disability or health needs or their life experiences
hope this helps

paulabear

Hi I've had 15 years as a carer, on and off, and met some real characters! I used to go to a lady who I heard a lot of compaints about from other carers, she was very particular about food, drinks etc; one day I had time between calls so I sat with her and had my sandwich (after asking; she said she wished other people would give her time instead of rushing off, they didn't care, etc). After talking with her about her situation it was pretty clear she was clinging onto any semblance of control she could. The care company was always sending new people, who had to be given the whole routine again, as if we'd had details of everything we did and exactly how it was done it would have been a book! -and quite often people were late coming from other calls, finding the house etc. This was a lady who had been very active in the community and had been very bitter at becoming bedridden, as well as in pain most of the day with arthritis. I think a lot of people must feel the same way as they get older; bitter at their situation and dismayed by their lack of control over who is coming to their house, and what they are doing!
My advice would be to talk to her (if you can get a word in lol!) - maybe say something like 'Oh dear, that must be frustrating for you', if given opportunity - something that gives her a chance to have a moan and get it off her chest a bit. You could also try to get her talking about photos etc, compliment her grandchildren or something. If she doesn't give you chance then just smile and be pleasant, do your best to please and give her absolutely no reason to complain. Then you can just think, oh well, this is how she is and I'll just get on with my job as it's clearly not my fault she's being like this I used to go to a lady who treated us all as though we were stupid and uneducated - she'd been a teacher. She also made quite personal comments about appearance (probably because it was guaranteed to get a reaction!) I did my best to get her good side but in the end just had to grit my teeth and bear it! Good luck

liney

Just something that stands out here. If she is a 30 minuite call, why are you only there in your admission for 20 to 30 minuites, and were you indeed only there for 10 miniutes one day as she stated?

If you aren't always there for the full 30 minuites she is paying for then perhaps this is the root of the problem.

Whether technically she or the agency pays you, if she doesn't book with that agency then you don't get the contract or the pay so i'd start thinking of her as your employer sharpish.

DVardysShadow

liney wrote: »

Just something that stands out here. If she is a 30 minuite call, why are you only there in your admission for 20 to 30 minuites, and were you indeed only there for 10 miniutes one day as she stated?

If you aren't always there for the full 30 minuites she is paying for then perhaps this is the root of the problem.

Whether technically she or the agency pays you, if she doesn't book with that agency then you don't get the contract or the pay so i'd start thinking of her as your employer sharpish.

Good point. honeyD is this the case? Does the old dear pay for 30 minutes thinking it is all at her house and perhaps your employer is paying you 30 minutes including travelling?

stripedwellies

honeyD wrote: »

Oh I dont just walk in and get on with things lol :rotfl:
I do call out to say Im there, hello, good morning etc and I wait for a reply before I do anything. I do like to know they are still alive and kicking lol.

Read what you put in your first post again and put yourself in her shoes.

Make a point of finding her, make eye contact (if possible). Show interest in her and ask how she's been since the last visit. Bond with the woman.Say that you are going to start by doing x unless there is something else that is more urgent for her first..... in effect making her feel in control of the situation.
Above takes less than a minute but makes people feel involved and human.

Couldn't the postbox thing have been handled better? So what if there wasn't a box near the next place. I'm sure you'd have seen one somewhere on your travels before you got home.It's far easier for you to post something than her otherwise she wouldn't ask.

The image I am getting of you is someone who needs a bit of support in communication skills. Also think at the end of the day about your various visits and how you come across to those who may only get to see you in their day.

I try my hardest with all of the clients, to do everything they need doing and in the time Im given.

Sometimes the chat is far more important than the tasks you need to get done. Are you desperate to get the tasks done and are being efficient but unpersonal?

lynzpower

honeyD wrote: »

Well yes, I guess I am. Ive only been doing this for less than 2 months and never had much experience before apart from caring for my gran who was never this much trouble lol.
Ive been trying so hard everytime I go to just be professional and dont bite back, Im not the confrontational type anyway - I just take things to heart.
Ive not had much training, just things like first aid, moving and handling - that kind of thing. Hopefully I will do my NVQ2 in the near future and learn more about how to deal with things like this.
Thanks for the replies.

There are some really good resources to get you started on the OU website the free "bitesize" courses. There is one on caring nad being cared for that I have done in another form (? k100 cant remember) that will help you have an understanding of the nature of the relationship.

Many clients will be "difficult to engage" especially if they NEED help but dont really want it. Theres a lot going on for her it seems.

Personally Id try and make time to sit with her and say, OK, these are the things you want doing, this is how long Ive got, HOW would YOU like ME to do these things, in what order. If you can get her to write a note if shes able and put it on the fridge " the rules" - it might help her se that you are doing what SHES requested.

Some people also just dont like people coming into thier home and touching their things.