care work - difficult people

honeyD

I started working nearly 2 months ago as a care assistant for elderly people in their homes.
Ive found myself in a situation with one 'client', lets call her P.
I try my hardest with all of the clients, to do everything they need doing and in the time Im given. This one client is really making things difficult for me. Nothing I do is ever good enough, not done well enough/fast enough/ in the right order, anything really. P tells me Im "not doing my job right" and Im just getting really sick of it. P is the only one Ive had complaints from so far, everyone else is really happy with me and others have specifically requested me to attend their homes so I must be doing right somewhere? lol.
Im just not sure what to do about it all. I bite my tongue everyday with her and its starting to depress me. Im only in there for 20-30 minutes and just feel like crying sometimes (feel so stupid!).
There are a few different things I do for her when I go, includes getting a couple of drinks for her, emptying the bins, making the bed, washing up etc etc. Well today I went in and she was upstairs and I thought she might be at the loo so didnt go up and got on with other things like emptying the bins etc. When I went upstairs to see where she was she had a right go at me for not seeing where she was as she was in the shower and I should have been there "more important things than getting her drink" she said. Yet if I hadnt done these things she would have complained anyway!
Ive spoken to work and said she is very rude at times and Im supposed to just ask her not to but she never lets me get a word in!
The other week she asked me to post a letter for her so I did. Couple of days later and she asked if I was passing a postbox, I said I wasnt sure because I was going to a new house and didnt know if there was a postbox there and she was so rude saying she pays me for 30 mins and was only there 10 yet cant even post her a letter?! :mad: She is not my employer lol. Argh. I really dont know what to do about this!
Reading this back I think Im over-reacting or not doing things well enough but I know I am and shes just never happy. Even complained to work about me which at the end of the day could lose me my job so that adds more pressure to do things right with her.
Does anyone who works in this kind of job offer any advice for dealing with "difficult" clients?
Thankyou.

tanith

I dealt with 'difficult' people for many years and learnt to just not take it personally, lonely/sick people just can't help themselves being rude and critical sometimes.. just try to let it go over your head and just get on with the good job you seem to be doing... she won't get you sacked as I am sure the people you work for have dealt with her or other difficult clients many times... as long as you know you are doing a good job and noone else is complaining about you then try not to let it worry you... and ignore her criticisms.. tell her if she has a complaint with your work to talk to your employer... that will let her know that you don't consider as such

stripedwellies

You just come across as inexperienced of the elderly.

She is your employer.

Your direct employer should perhaps do a bit more to help you eg, send someone else with you to observe/be your witness in view of complaints. They could also rotate staff with this person to reduce pressure on you.


Keep doing your best. If she didn't need care, she wouldn't be receiving it.

Errata

Talk to your manager about this, that's what they are there for, and ask for training to enable you to help clients whose behaviour you find challenging.

honeyD

stripedwellies wrote: »

You just come across as inexperienced of the elderly.

Well yes, I guess I am. Ive only been doing this for less than 2 months and never had much experience before apart from caring for my gran who was never this much trouble lol.
Ive been trying so hard everytime I go to just be professional and dont bite back, Im not the confrontational type anyway - I just take things to heart.
Ive not had much training, just things like first aid, moving and handling - that kind of thing. Hopefully I will do my NVQ2 in the near future and learn more about how to deal with things like this.
Thanks for the replies.

stripedwellies

Don't worry. Think, unpleasant individuals in their youth aren't likely to be pleasant in their twilight years and also loneliness, frustration, illness, geriatric mental health can impact on behaviour of once lovely people.
Just do your best.

mumslave

oh i have met a few old dears in my time as a carer. That was my career before my children. Well until my third child, from the age of 16. I loved it but you do get the odd one that likes to make life hard. You need to take it on the chin, the ones like that tend to be the ones that are totally miserable/depressed and take it out on those closest to them...the carers. Put yourself in their shoes where possible.

There was one resident I remember very well lol, she used to be all nicey nicey to your face, then when the next carer went in, she would tell her how evil you were...and so on :rotfl: she was one hell of a character and was actually one of my favourite residents. She also had chronic anxiety meaning she was forever on the buzzer but she was lovely in her own way.

stripedwellies

Just a thought reading your post again about the shower incident.
I think the first thing you should do when you arrive at anyone's house is find them and alert them you are there with a chirpy greeting rather than get on with the job.
Just a little coutesy having just entered in someone's home and a bright hello and saying what you're just going to do can make a difference.

Errata

stripedwellies wrote: »

Just a thought reading your post again about the shower incident.
I think the first thing you should do when you arrive at anyone's house is find them and alert them you are there with a chirpy greeting rather than get on with the job.
Just a little coutesy having just entered in someone's home and a bright hello and saying what you're just going to do can make a difference.

That's a fair point. Although a property may be a home carers workplace it's first and foremost someone's home. It's also pretty important to check that a client is still in the land of the living before any tasks are done because sometimes they're not.

honeyD

Oh I dont just walk in and get on with things lol :rotfl:
I do call out to say Im there, hello, good morning etc and I wait for a reply before I do anything. I do like to know they are still alive and kicking lol.

myothercarisaferrari

it could be she resents having care

We have just employed a carer from my nan and the poor girl gets hell from her. My nan hates it and thinks she is capable of looking after herself :-(