Nice people thread 2 - now even nicer

GDB2222

Since you're all so nice, you'll tell me whether to peek.

We have one wheelie bin full of leaves I swept up in the autumn. I finally decided to leave this out for the dustmen, but I noticed the lid was slightly open and inside was a nest with chicks in. So, I put it back.

That was 3 weeks ago, so should I peek? If they've been abandoned because the nest was disturbed, I'd rather get rid sooner rather than later. OTOH, there may still be a happy little family of chicks there.

SingleSue

Well, eldest has had me running around like a headless chicken this morning....exam stress has well and truly hit!

First off, packed him off to school only for him to return 10 minutes later going on about a data cable he just had to have....he couldn't find said cable in the laptop case, so many stomps and shouts later (including the words "I'm going to fail! I'm going to fail!"), I said I would nip to the shops and get him another one. This produced similar rants and wails about the particular lesson he needs the data cable being the first one of the day and how can I afford it (I couldn't but my view was he needed it for exams, they come first right now).

More stomps later and the cable was eventually found nestled under the sofa where it had fallen when he had picked the laptop case up and ferreted around in it in a mad panic.

So he leaves again.....to come back 5 minutes later to say he is now too late to walk to school and can I give him a lift. Mad rush around as this means we would have to leave earlier than normal to make the diversion to his school before dropping the other two off.

Come back, just start getting some study done and a text comes in......"Help, need my physics book or I will fail!" (There were actually more exclamation marks), Get all his books out, find the relevant one and back off to the school to drop it off.

Kids eh! I'll be glad when the GCSE's are out of the way, he is more of an emotional wreck each day where the slightest little thing is blown completely out of proportion (we had an amusing (for me) little epidsode with a sock the other morning, you would think the world had ended because of a silly little hole in it!)

Pathways evening tonight for middle son, his grades are doing well and for the first time, his maths and science grades are being surpassed by his music one which has reached a level 7 (no idea if this is good for his year or not (Year 8), confuzzes the life out of me) but he has reached the target grades which were set at the beginning of the school year and in most subjects, exceeded them....eldest was (as usual) in a hump when he saw them.

And this is a rare quieter week for appointments, where I am supposed to be getting my head down and studying!

Edit - Youngest now back at school after his recent illness...thank goodness!

lostinrates

GDB2222 wrote: »

Since you're all so nice, you'll tell me whether to peek.

We have one wheelie bin full of leaves I swept up in the autumn. I finally decided to leave this out for the dustmen, but I noticed the lid was slightly open and inside was a nest with chicks in. So, I put it back.

That was 3 weeks ago, so should I peek? If they've been abandoned because the nest was disturbed, I'd rather get rid sooner rather than later. OTOH, there may still be a happy little family of chicks there.

hmm, three weeks is probably long enough. What I'd do though is wrap up warm, get a big mug of tea, and sit quietly and watch for a while for what movements there are.

SingleSue

Update to the parents evening/pathways evening/subject clinic (depending on which letter you look at). Middle son is doing better than had been reported on their chart...for music, he is at the level expected at the end of year 9 (he is year 8), for maths, despite his aspergers having an impact on his results from tests, he is still maintaining a high score and is top 2. I also discovered he is a talented artist...absolute news to me, he never draws at home, that is youngest sons' area.

His English teacher was surprised to discover that Middle son doesn't read books at home (the only one of mine who doesn't, the rest of us are avid readers) because he has a talent for creative writing......she said that in the absence of actually reading fiction, then the talent is exceptional.

For science, if he continues as he is right now, then he is at a level for a B at GCSE, drama, he is perfect for doing Performing Arts BTEC.

Next year there are going to be some very hard choices in what to choose for GCSE as he is so strong in many areas...but he says he will def be doing music.

All the teachers reported that he is a joy to teach, a calming influence on the rest of the class, their gentle giant, a head down and get on with the work sort of child.

Not bad for a child labelled unteachable in year 3, perm excluded from his school and who didn't return to formal education until year 6.

LydiaJ

SingleSue wrote: »

Update to the parents evening/pathways evening/subject clinic (depending on which letter you look at). Middle son is doing better than had been reported on their chart...for music, he is at the level expected at the end of year 9 (he is year 8), for maths, despite his aspergers having an impact on his results from tests, he is still maintaining a high score and is top 2. I also discovered he is a talented artist...absolute news to me, he never draws at home, that is youngest sons' area.

His English teacher was surprised to discover that Middle son doesn't read books at home (the only one of mine who doesn't, the rest of us are avid readers) because he has a talent for creative writing......she said that in the absence of actually reading fiction, then the talent is exceptional.

For science, if he continues as he is right now, then he is at a level for a B at GCSE, drama, he is perfect for doing Performing Arts BTEC.

Next year there are going to be some very hard choices in what to choose for GCSE as he is so strong in many areas...but he says he will def be doing music.

All the teachers reported that he is a joy to teach, a calming influence on the rest of the class, their gentle giant, a head down and get on with the work sort of child.

Not bad for a child labelled unteachable in year 3, perm excluded from his school and who didn't return to formal education until year 6.

Sue, please just read through what you have written. Consider the person you used to be before you had your kids. Even back then, would you ever have used the word "failure" for the parenting achievements of the person who has brought up the child described in your post?

treliac

LydiaJ wrote: »

Several years and about 3 house moves ago, I used to be friends with someone who worked in HR. She seemed to regard it as self-evident that recruitment should be done solely on the basis of objective scores for various activities, and there should be no subjective element of "whether we feel we will get on with this person" etc. She seemed to think it would be unlawfully discriminatory to do otherwise.

So many times I've seen the wrong person appointed because their text book interview answers 'ticked the most boxes'. They rarely lasted long in the job!

Malcolm. wrote: »

Because it's late and someone's already written it, I'll copy and paste.
-
Soft skills is a sociological term relating to a person's "EQ" (Emotional Intelligence Quotient), ................

Emotional intelligence is one of the greatest assets a person can have. It by far outweighs pure knowledge and the person with EQ will out perform their better educated but lower EQ colleagues in any 'people' orientated environment - leaving aside the purely scientific/technical areas of employment. However, the individual with both will literally shine.

(Read some of Daniel Goleman's books for greater insight. )

SingleSue

LydiaJ wrote: »

Sue, please just read through what you have written. Consider the person you used to be before you had your kids. Even back then, would you ever have used the word "failure" for the parenting achievements of the person who has brought up the child described in your post?

I am immensely proud of what my children have achieved and I know I have played a part in that to turn it around from where we were just a few short years ago..in that respect I don't feel a failure.

But the children have also played their part, they all have the drive to succeed, to make mum happy, to give mum that big smile.

The teaching staff too have been wonderful, from the private tutors middle son had when he was excluded, to the head teacher (once she had been convinced he wasn't a naughty child but an aspergic one), at his PRU and then a wonderful understanding high school who have listened and implemented the procedures for learning I have at home for him, not just educationally but behaviourally too.

For my eldest, to overcome his dyslexia and achieve what we all believed was the impossible...a high English grade, again with the help of a wonderful English teacher once he arrived in year 10 with an attainment level of 4c. An understanding school who have been great with his recent diagnostic process and their quick notifying of all his teachers once that diagnosis arrived. On top of that, an understanding and very approachable exam officer at the school who listened to our (mine and eldests') concerns about his inability to write for the length of the exams and put in place before diagnosis, the use of a laptop.

Eldest son has not just had exam stress to contend with, these last few weeks have not been easy on him..finding out you have a incurable and long term (and I really don't want to use this word) disability, 2 weeks before your first GCSE is tough.

Youngest we are still working on and at present, it is not easy going but I have the full support of the school and they are working with me, not against me and we all hope that one day, he will show the achievments we all know he is capable of. Again the school have been wonderful, have been very understanding and listen to everything I say regarding my concerns and will react very quickly to change something that is not working or to put in extra support where needed. Whether he will stay in mainstream education is not clear at the moment as he is struggling very badly but we (his teachers at primary, his doctors, myself, his outreach teacher from the specialist autism school, the High School and the education authority) all knew this could happen and we have all been preparing for it.

So, the work is not all mine, I can't take all the praise for it...the schools (only latterly for eldest) have played their part, as have the children.

But I am still immensely proud of what we have all achieved.

*Even if the boys call me OCD'ish over education and learning through experience! :rotfl:

So, no, in raising the children, I don't feel a failure...just the fact my body seems incapable of bringing non differing needs ones into the world makes me feel that way.

morag1202

SingleSue wrote: »

So, no, in raising the children, I don't feel a failure...just the fact my body seems incapable of bringing non differing needs ones into the world makes me feel that way.

I have 2 quite severely disabled children. Both have had a neuro sensory high frequency hearing loss since birth. My daughter cannot hear sounds of over 2kHz unless they are the volume of a road drill so she hears "the sun shines on a fine day" as "uh un ine on a ine day". Hearing aids do not help her so she gets by on lip reading and intuition. My son has an 82% loss from 1kHz and wears 2 hearing aids which are unavailable from the NHS.

Their deafness was caused by their parents carrying a recessive gene each. Our hearing is perfect and any kids we might have had with other partners would have been fine but together we had a one in four chance of producing a deaf kid - and we lucked out both times.

So I kind of know where you are coming from. When we found out we both felt guilty/failures to begin with but we talked it through with each other and pretty soon concluded that since there was no way we could have known, it was fate rather than failure. Perhaps you might benefit from talking through how you feel with a professional of some sort?

As others have said, I do not see you as a failure

Davesnave

OK peoples... someone, (possibly carol) wanted cute baby bird pics about a week ago, so here they are:







As you can see, I am no Bill Oddie, but they were the best I could do. I have stuck them in my default album, so I can delete them in a month or so.:rotfl:

One of the baby robins died. Don't think it was the cat, just nature at work.

Recent bird info is that we've had a barn owl take up residence in the barn, but it may just be trying it out. As we have a digger here for the next few days, it may well move on!

treliac

Thanks Dave, they are lovely.

Don't know what has happened to ours. Parent robins are still around but no sign of babies or nest. I'm glad they're safe though and imagine they must have found somewhere else, close by to make their nest.