Serious worries about financial past- can't keep going.

rubytuesday87

Hi LittleMonkey,

Couldn't read and run, plenty of others have already given you good advice about the cheques. I just wanted to say that, if you are feeling at such a low ebb and suicidal, there are organisations out there if you need to talk, such as the Samaritans and many others. You said in your original post that you think your partner would cope if you weren't around, but it sounds like he truly loves you and will want you to be here with him forever. There are so many possibilities in your future and you can reach a place where you feel positive. Maybe try thinking of a few small, achievable goals or plans for the near future and writing them down?

Seems that your GP already knows about your difficulties but please don't be scared to tell them if things are really bad, there is a lot of support out there although it isn't always perfect! Erics Mum - second you on the CBT, it can really help with anxiety and depression. There is free online CBT available from Moodgym: (moodgym.anu.edu.au)

Take care,
Sarah

InDeepDebt

Questions for you LittleMonkey

Have you got your debts under control? Are creditors ringing you? Are they sending you threatening letters of baillifs?

As with many others, I too had a low point with depression and anxiety. Fortunately, where I live the help available was good - really good. Was sent on a course by the doctor called "Stress control" which was created by some bloke from Glasgow called Jim White. Anyhow, this course which was 90 minutes, one night a week for six weeks gave some useful and some not as useful (for me) information. I also went on some CBT - waiting list here is a mere 17 weeks.

Onto my point (I'm waffling). My job is stressful - but then once every six weeks we do 'On-Call' which means that you are alone dealing with issues. I worried about this on-call period. I worried real bad. When I finally flipped to the point where I could take no more and went off sick but managed to drag myself to the doctors, I used to worry three weeks before I was due to do the on-call.

One of the things that my stress control course advised was to set aside some 'worry time' every day. Make the time convenient for you - say 10 p.m. When you get thoughts coming into your head where you start to worry, you tell yourself to stop worrying and that you'll think about it in the 10 minutes that you allowed at 10 p.m.

What I found was that when I got to 10 p.m., I'd forgotten what I was due to worry about.

This worrying thing does have a name. It means regurgitating (sp) - I'll have a look when I get home. I think that that is your problem. You worry. That's my bit of advice in my amateur phycology (sp) role. It may not do it for you - however, it might just do something. When I was sat in a room of forty people and the course presenter was telling us this 'rubbish', I was thinking "Yeah, right". However, it did work and I am now back doing my on-call.

Onto the questions at the top of this (now long) post. If you are having problems with your creditors, there is loads of help available on here about putting an immediate stop to threatening calls so that you can deal with your debt and start getting yourself sorted.

Good luck. Hope you are sleeping well (I didn't when I was low). Keep us informed of how it goes. Whilst it makes no odds whatsoever to you, other people are also struggling with low moods and anxiety. What will be of interest though is that it IS possible to get out of it.

HTH

Jim

mas03j

I have a Master's degree in a clinical area. I normally do not like medication, but for some people it is a lifesaver (literally). However, when medication kicks in there are a few things to think about. First, this time of year is a major time for depression--yea, even serious depression. Please do some research on Vitamin D's role in combating depression, it's effect on appetite and sleep patterns and a HOST of other problems that a deficiency may affect. A simple supplement during this time of year when the vitamin D is most notably lacking will work wonders--I know it does for me. Remember, there is a "disorder" called Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) that is prevalent this time of year. Believe me, you are not the only one affected. It may magnify problems that normally you can deal with to the point of driving yourself crazy. I hope this helps.

ChefBungle

Hi Little Monkey

I too read this and felt I had to reply, as I can recognise a lot of the things you're saying, in terms of focusing on worst case scenario and obsessing about it. I too feel the need to worry about things all the time - there must be something about to go wrong or belly up, right?

I've been on meds for the last 6 months or so, and have just completed a course of CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy), which has worked WONDERS! I am in complete agreement with the above posters on this. In a nutshell, it's a process whereby you look at your thinking patterns eg A happens, my perception of the event is B, therefore the likely outcome is C, so my reaction is D. When you start to look at it in more detail and really challenge yourself about the way you instinctively react, you end up seeing how ridiculous some of your thought patterns are. If you want a bit of a straightforward introduction to it, there's a "Dummies Guide on CBT" book that you should be able to get from your local library, or you can pick up 2nd hand copies on ebay for £5 - £10.

From my experience, depression and anxiety is not a mood that you one day just "snap out of" - you need to proactively do something to tackle it. In the same way that you won't wake up one day with big muscles if you've not been to the gym - you need to train your body, and the same goes for your mind.

Good luck.

LittleMonkey16

Hi all, I just wanted to drop a quick line to thank you all for your kind and constructive words. I'm going to my GP at the end of the week and will mention some of your suggestions- I can't go on like this, and I need to start looking into effective ways of controlling my thought processes. You've helped so much.

ERICS_MUM

InDeepDebt wrote: »

Questions for you LittleMonkey

Have you got your debts under control? Are creditors ringing you? Are they sending you threatening letters of baillifs?

As with many others, I too had a low point with depression and anxiety. Fortunately, where I live the help available was good - really good. Was sent on a course by the doctor called "Stress control" which was created by some bloke from Glasgow called Jim White. Anyhow, this course which was 90 minutes, one night a week for six weeks gave some useful and some not as useful (for me) information. I also went on some CBT - waiting list here is a mere 17 weeks.

Onto my point (I'm waffling). My job is stressful - but then once every six weeks we do 'On-Call' which means that you are alone dealing with issues. I worried about this on-call period. I worried real bad. When I finally flipped to the point where I could take no more and went off sick but managed to drag myself to the doctors, I used to worry three weeks before I was due to do the on-call.

One of the things that my stress control course advised was to set aside some 'worry time' every day. Make the time convenient for you - say 10 p.m. When you get thoughts coming into your head where you start to worry, you tell yourself to stop worrying and that you'll think about it in the 10 minutes that you allowed at 10 p.m.

What I found was that when I got to 10 p.m., I'd forgotten what I was due to worry about.

This worrying thing does have a name. It means regurgitating (sp) - I'll have a look when I get home. I think that that is your problem. You worry. That's my bit of advice in my amateur phycology (sp) role. It may not do it for you - however, it might just do something. When I was sat in a room of forty people and the course presenter was telling us this 'rubbish', I was thinking "Yeah, right". However, it did work and I am now back doing my on-call.

Onto the questions at the top of this (now long) post. If you are having problems with your creditors, there is loads of help available on here about putting an immediate stop to threatening calls so that you can deal with your debt and start getting yourself sorted.

Good luck. Hope you are sleeping well (I didn't when I was low). Keep us informed of how it goes. Whilst it makes no odds whatsoever to you, other people are also struggling with low moods and anxiety. What will be of interest though is that it IS possible to get out of it.

HTH

Jim

It's called ruminating. I did it big time for a couple of years and it is extremely debilitating. This is what led to me making lists as I mentioned in my first post. The CBT I had was very effective in helping me manage it. I still do it but not to the extent that it distresses me.

Isn't it amazing how many good and ordinary people have similar problems, and how we can use our experiences to support someone who is starting out on this horrible journey. Littlemonkey I do hope you get some reassurance and comfort from our posts.

Good luck with your GP - don't hold back, make sure you come out with an agreed plan of action. Let us know how you get on.

Linda xx

L

ladybez

Couldn't just read and run. I, too have suffered from depressionand at that time everything felt negative and I felt worthless. I did end up taking medication for about a year, which really helped as I now feel so much better about life and problems don't seem so insurmountable. Be prepared to take whatever help your GP offers, some therapies take longer than others to start helping. In the meantime try and get some regular exercise, it really does help. You are facing up to your financial responsibilites at a much younger age than I did, and by the sound of things, have a good supportive partner and I'm sure you will begin to enjoy life again. Rest assured your cheques WILL have been cashed, the circumstances under which a guaranteed cheque can be returned unpaid are very very unusual (and from memory are often when fraud is suspected). NOTHING IS WORTH TAKING YOUR OWN LIFE FOR and if you are still feeling like that, please contact the Samaritains who will help you. Take care and keep us posted of how you go on.xx

niccatw

Hey Littlemonkey

Just wanted to pop back to say thank you!

Not only has your post helped you, it has probably helped all of us who have commented! It definitely helps to know we are not going through this alone! And it's great to get people's views on what has and has not worked for them. I, for one, am liking the idea of "stress control" for me!

Good luck at the doctors and do let us know how you are getting on.

ERICS_MUM

niccatw wrote: »

Hey Littlemonkey

Just wanted to pop back to say thank you!

Not only has your post helped you, it has probably helped all of us who have commented! It definitely helps to know we are not going through this alone! And it's great to get people's views on what has and has not worked for them. I, for one, am liking the idea of "stress control" for me!

Good luck at the doctors and do let us know how you are getting on.

What a good post.