Etiquette of receiving Birthday Presents/Cards as an adult

lostinrates

OP, I think I'd engineer things a bit, because I would feel the same as you: rude calling for a gift/card.

I think I'd bake a cake and ask in laws for supper/tea to celebrate my birthday...at a weekend before/afterward if need be, the same for the rest of the family's birthdays too...

Mupette

I'm going to be different.

When i was younger it was family tradition to go to see my grandparents (just down the road) on birthday and Christmas.. and pick up cards and pressies there.

Nothing about 'expecting' cards and pressies it was just a tradition of the family

euronorris

Mupette wrote: »

I'm going to be different.

When i was younger it was family tradition to go to see my grandparents (just down the road) on birthday and Christmas.. and pick up cards and pressies there.

Nothing about 'expecting' cards and pressies it was just a tradition of the family

What about with your parents now though? Do you go round to them, or with the kids etc?

I can see how it would work with the children, you know, a nice morning/afternoon at the grandparents, but I'd feel so rude doing it as an adult alone.

carolpinkdreamer

I have exactly the same situation with my in-laws, and they too drive nephews and neices around but never bring cards or presents to our house. We always deliver their pressies the evening before or early on birthday morning. We've always taken our children to collect their cards (because I don't think it's fair for them to miss out because of my principles) but I now refuse to go when it's mine or hubby's birthdays. It doesn't help though, we just get them weeks later when we eventually 'give in' and go and visit them!
Last time it was DD's birthday, MIL asked what she wanted for a pressie. I gave her a list of items that daughter would be happy to receive (not fancy items, just pj's, game etc) and she still put money in a card. It seems like they have to make as little effort as possible.

LisaLou1982

Im with you OP - I would consider it SO rude for someone to expect me to collect my card from their house. I always post a card if i cant get to see someone to deliver it to them myself.

That said, re Christmas pressies - usually we go to my Aunts Xmas day afternoon to see my family (theres not many of us! Only 10!!). For the last few yrs ive always had to drive there - they never offer to come and see us even when invited. This year, i put my foot down and said that i was sick of driving over 200miles every Christmas and being relied on for lifts etc. Im not a taxi.

They said they would drop our presents round first thing in the morning, knowing full well that we dont get up til late on Christmas day, and that theyd collect their presents and my cousins presents. I said no - if they want their presents then they have to come and visit us themselves, and that it was about time they put themselves out and went without a drink for a change.

Guess what...........they did all come round!! Even if my aunt did complain that she couldnt have a drink! No sympathy from me - she didnt care when i couldnt drink the last 5yrs!

Sunshine12

jackieb wrote: »

Don't get me wrong, my in-laws are lovely people. They just have some weird ways. Off topic but my MIL once asked me if I was staying for supper. They were having a salad. That's nice I said. So I stayed. The salad was one whole lettuce leaf, one whole tomato and one whole boiled egg (both rolling around the plate), some slices of chopped pork and some tinned Heinz vegetable salad. And they never have gravy with their Christmas dinner! :eek:

That salad sounds awful Jackieb!! :eek:

1more?

my fil does exactly the same op and it drives hell into me, he phones on my dh or on the kids bdays and say " the cards are on the side in the kitchen" trouble is the kitchen is 15 miles away:mad::mad: and we are expected to go collect the card on bdays putting out our plans, we dont collect on bdays anymore but when ever dh goes there next
i think its rude but its just the way they are, fil doesnt think bdays are that important

anyway shouldnt talka bount fil when my father forgot my sisters bday last year :eek::eek: she wasnt happy he was deverstated when he realised