Etiquette of receiving Birthday Presents/Cards as an adult

determined_new_ms

Happy birthday Op, i hope (other than the inlaw situation) u are having a fabulous birthday and really spoiling urself!

parents/inlaws are weird but they're pretty much stuck in their ways! Will they call to wish u happy birthday at some point? If yes invite them to call in for a coffee when they're passing next and to drop off ur card then

red_devil

Ex-Spendaholic wrote: »

This is trivial but I just wondered how other people do things.

My parents in law live less than half a mile away. When it is either of their birthday's we always drop off their cards and gifts either the night before or first thing on the morning of their birthdays. To me this is what people do and is what we do for everyone we buy cards/gifts for.

However when it is one of our birthdays it is expected that we actually go round looking for our card/gift. :eek: Now before anyone says we are being ungrateful etc, we are lucky to receive cards and gifts etc that is not what this post is about.

Its my birthday today. MIL will phone DH later to ask why the card hasn't been collected. The simple reason is he is at work all day, I just happen to be off today and he did suggest I call with them. Whilst it is not out of my way to do so and I have time on my hands, I just feel I can do that. Incidentally the parents in law drive past our house at least twice daily doing school runs with their other grandchildren so it isn't like they are housebound.

Personally from my point of view I was brought up to believe it was rude to go calling on someone looking for a card/present so I simply will not go round there looking for one. I am an adult and don't need cards/gifts from anyone so it wouldn't bother me in the slightest if they didn't bother with cards etc but I ain't going looking for one.

What do other people do?

what do you mean I am an adult and i dont need cards or gifts isnt it nice for adults then to receive a card on their birthday i think so.

Ex-Spendaholic

Thank you everyone for your replies. It lets me see that its them who are odd and not me. :rotfl: BTW, OH thinks their approach is perfectly normal and that I'm just a nasty piece of work. I often suggest that he should keep their presents here until they collect them but no apparently that would be rude. :rotfl: He was at their house on Saturday, why they didn't just hand it over and save the hassle is beyond me.

jackieb

Any wrote: »

Completely with you on that one! Very weird!!

Fortunatelly my MIL always either comes on the day of my B-day or takes me out for dinner or makes one for us (then we come to her house). Even asks me if I want my present before or after my holidays if I am away on the actual day (last year I went away).

Sometimes reading some of these threads it just reminds me how lucky I am!!

Don't get me wrong, my in-laws are lovely people. They just have some weird ways. Off topic but my MIL once asked me if I was staying for supper. They were having a salad. That's nice I said. So I stayed. The salad was one whole lettuce leaf, one whole tomato and one whole boiled egg (both rolling around the plate), some slices of chopped pork and some tinned Heinz vegetable salad. And they never have gravy with their Christmas dinner! :eek:

candygirl

It seems very weird and controlling that they can't just drop your card/pressy off when they pass.I'd too be reluctant to go and pick it up:oHave a fab day anyway x:A

Gemsgalore

jackieb wrote: »

Don't get me wrong, my in-laws are lovely people. They just have some weird ways. Off topic but my MIL once asked me if I was staying for supper. They were having a salad. That's nice I said. So I stayed. The salad was one whole lettuce leaf, one whole tomato and one whole boiled egg (both rolling around the plate), some slices of chopped pork and some tinned Heinz vegetable salad. And they never have gravy with their Christmas dinner! :eek:

Whats up with that salad? If I have a salad I have very similar to that. Usually I have lettuce, tomato, cucumber, cold meat and coleslaw.....why is that weird?

Tisha30

I'm so with you too OP. We've ALWAYS delivered cards and presents prior to the Birthday so they have them to open on the morning, and I think it's even more important if it's a childs present. The inlaws however expected us to make the 20 mile trip to pick ours up, a sore point when they pass our house every day on the way to work! I hated doing this so after a few years of not turning up on the day to receive the gift (mainly as I was so embarrassed), I now get a cheque through the post or pushed through the letter box.

They do have a tendency to forget Birthdays too - we rarely see my FIL so when he turned up on my hubby's Birthday I was pleased, until I realised he had no idea it was his sons Birthday and Hubby had to say when he was just about to leave "Are you not going to wish me a happy Birthday then?" He of course tried to cover his tracks by saying he'd left the card at home but it was blatantly obvious he'd forgotten!

I thought things might improve when we had a child but no....he's only just received his Christmas present from his Aunt last week! It makes me wonder why I make the effort to deliver all theirs on time really!!!!

jackieb

Gemsgalore wrote: »

Whats up with that salad? If I have a salad I have very similar to that. Usually I have lettuce, tomato, cucumber, cold meat and coleslaw.....why is that weird?

I think it was it's presentation mostly. It looked very forlorn.:rotfl: The tomato was chasing the egg round the plate. It was tinned vegetable salad and chopped pork (think Spam), and the curled up lettuce leaf. Just looked like the contents of the fridge had been tipped onto the plate.

chickywiggle

hi,

just wanted to say am with you on this one.

my inlaws do give me a pressie/ card when they see me - they certainly wouldn't go out the way to post it (100+ miles betweeen us). This is usually around the time of my birthday tho more thro well planned holidays (on our part) then any thinking on theirs.

My DH is lucky if they even give him a card & i am pretty sure he has had no pressie/ money/ card from his own parents for last 2 years as 'something' always happens and they forget.

Christmas - this year ours (and DS's) was brought down in February - while i had theirs ready to go months early.

ohhhh and don't expect a thankyou for anything from adults or children.

happy birthday tho!!

euronorris

It is strange.

I've always been taught to deliver the card/present in person, where possible. And I would NEVER go round to collect a card/present, unless I was first invited (and preferably for a reason other than just picking up the card/present).

If I was too ill to deliver, for example, then I would ask someone else to do it for me, or invite them round a few days later etc.

Can't your OH see he's contradicting himself? It's OK for you to go and collect your card/gift, but it's rude for his parents to have to do the same?! Where's the logic? lol