brakedown

bltchef

i feel thing will happed if she does something again but i do not know if i could copewith a another and try to keep things together for the son he hopes to go to uni in oct he derserver some luck

grey_lady

bltchef - are you concerned that there's a risk of another suicide attempt? if so please go and have a chat with your GP asap, it sounds like theres a history of depression or mental illness with your partner and maybe counselling/medication from the GP would help.

If your partners daughter is 19, staying in bed all day and you're doing all the housework and paying all the bills then I think you need to have a chat. Either she gets a job and contributes (even if its a token amount) or she takes over some of the housework and meals whilst her mum is poorly. Tell her its part of being an adult and you just can't do it all on your own, you'd paid bills and put a roof over her head for years and you need a little help now.

Would you still want to leave if your partner got a bit better? bearing in mind that anti-depressants and counselling might take a couple of months to kick in, but explaining to her that you've reached a low might encourage her to get some help.

If the 19 year old started showing willing to help out and you got a hobby or something to get you out the house and give you a bit of a break you might not feel like you dont have much life.

Good luck!

tandraig

hun, if she has attempted suicide 16 times in 8 years and hasnt succeeded - then she wasnt serious about it and is using the threat of suicide to control you.
you want out - then get out - she is an adult and her life choices are NOT under your control only hers.
this is emotional blackmail on her part - now do you want to spend the rest of your life living like this?
because from your post - I would be worried that you would make one successful attempt at suicide in the future.
my advice - leave now, I doubt very much that she would be successful at the next attempt or that she would even make one.

Proc

bltchef wrote: »

i have delt with 16 attemed suicide

16 attempts and still can't get it right?

Either this woman is ridiculously stupid, or, more likely, it's a cry for attention. Get her down the doc's.

bltchef

hi she is on anti-depressantsand does have cpn and does go to counselling three of them ended icu were he nearly died i stop for her son who i love he is good kid but i am finding it hard thank for all you help and advice

gingin_2

If you care about the son, can you leave and he have a room with you? If he's old enough for Uni, he is old enough to make that decision. It doesn't sound like a good environment for him to be in.

You sound like a lovely, caring guy.

bltchef

he wants to go uni in oct i thing he will go and not come back he would be all ways welcome to come or stop with me but he would go with his mum to make sure she is ok

gingin_2

bltchef wrote: »

he wants to go uni in oct i thing he will go and not come back he would be all ways welcome to come or stop with me but he would go with his mum to make sure she is ok

Good!

He sounds like a lovely lad and I am sure a lot of that credit lies with you. Just let him know you will always be there for him, although I am sure he already knows that.

You can't be beholden to someone out of duty, you only get one shot at life, you owe it to yourself to make the best of it. You didn't cause this.

I can't comment on the suicide attempts as it it something I don't feel confident in giving advice on, but surely you can be there for your partner as a friend, whilst living in your own, seperate home. Maybe contact the CPN yourself and also maybe go to the GP for some advice and maybe a referral for counselling yourself, to give you some strength.

bltchef

thank you for kind words

misgrace

My heart really goes out to you BT, as you really want to do whats best, and you genuinly care for the son, if you decide to make the break, reassure the son that he still has you, and specially when he comes home from Uni.

At the end of the day, you can only do so much, and if people dont want to try and get help or work at at, then you are knocking your head against a brick wall.

I know exactly what your saying, you are terrified that if you walk she will try and commit suicicide again, and you would have it on your conscience, as thats the type of person you are, but you cannot live with this for the rest of your life, what about you,???? are you not entitled to have some peace, have a life?

Me personally would sit her down and give her one last chance to go and get help, perhaps give her a time frame, tell her you will leave unless she does something, if she doesnt, then you pack your bags and fins someone who will work with you.
If it goes well, and GF actually tries to get help, then you can start sorting out the daughter.