The Bank of Mum and Dad

sjaypink

Graham_Devon wrote: »

Ahh forgot the kids.

Do they NEED windows? You could install 2 benches and some seatbelts, get it certified, and tell them it's the mystery machine.

TBF, they've been driven around in a lot worse

pingu2209

I think that it is quite normal for mums and dads to help out now and again for big things such as deposits or for unexpected things like the car breaks down. It has happened for years. For costs that if the parents don't pay then the child just has to make do and wait.

I don't however feel it is wise for parents to financially help a child in their day to day living expenses. It doesn't teach them to be financially independent.

perplexed.com

baileysbattlebus wrote: »

We were in exactly the same position as you are - there was no famiily help for anything. Once we were adults the help went the other way, to our parents - even to paying part of care home fees for OH's mother for 10 years.

We also lived at the other end of the country to family so there wasn't even babysitting/childcare help. This type of help is invaluable too - there is more to help than money.

I don't know how old your children are, but as ours left education and actually started to earn enough money to support themselves things became easier and instead of it taking all our time to feed and clothe them and pay the mortgage and bills - we had a bit of spare every month - which over the years became quite a lot of spare.

In my earlier post I mentioned my sister who gave her daughter £40k as a deposit and has set aside a similar amount for her son - her husband was a fireman and she worked part time as a shelf stacker, then a hotel cleaner and then a healthcare assistant - jobs I wouldn't class as particularly well paid - quite the opposite. She was able to stop working at 46 despite having no pension, for years they had saved her wages and only dipped in to pay for their one vice - holidays in Florida. No mean feat. They chose to live their lives quite frugally for a lot of years - we didn't - that was our choice.

Don't be envious of friends who have had financial help from family just be thankful for what you do have.

Well done to your sister and brother-in-law, that's quite an achievement. I also do very much appreciate what I have, in general, but this topic is specifically about the bank of mum and dad. I was just commenting on how it doesn't exist for a lot of people and that I would like to be more able to have this role with my own children. I imagine most would if they are unable to be, for whatever reason. Perhaps envy was the wrong word to use.