The Bank of Mum and Dad

jetta_wales

Has anybody else had to turn to this very lovable bank for help during the current financial hard times? Or would you ever if you had to? How would or do you feel about that?

I hate ever being in a situation where I can't quite stay afloat one month, so far it has only happened badly once and I was lucky to be able to borrow a few hundred to keep everything going untill we got ourselfes right again but mostly I have just learnt to tighten my belt a lot and go without a lot of things, so long as my girls don't go without then I don't mind.

However the biggest helping hand I've ever had was last year when my folks helped us out with getting a mortgage and though we only just managed it as my Dad's retired and only has a basic state pension it was enough to tip the ballance and let us buy a house just a few roads away from them. It was an auction buy and we're up to our necks in work that needs doing on the place but it's a fantastic investment that we bought at the bottom of the market and I know we'll make a substantial return on when we do sell up and inevitably buy another wreck and do it all again.

I feel that though my partner's out of work and that's bringing him down and using any spare pounds we have to buy tiles or wallpaper is getting tedious I at least know that it will all be worth it in the end. But all of this has only been possible because of my parents helping hand.

Is this to be the norm now and if so then how is anyone supposed to move up in (for want of a better term) the classes if you can only buy a house or start a buisness if you've got parents who are able to help you get started? How is the current wealth gap between the poorest and the richest ever going to close if nobody from a poorer background can ever get a mortgage or bank loan because the banks are so skittish now.

My siblings have borrowed from my folks before and seem to take it quite lightly but I note every penny and am never happy untill I've paid them back even if it's just for a joint at the butchers when I didn't have cash.

Mr.Brown_4

jetta_wales wrote: »

My siblings have borrowed from my folks before and seem to take it quite lightly but I note every penny and am never happy untill I've paid them back even if it's just for a joint at the butchers when I didn't have cash.

My parents never knowingly loaned me money to buy a joint.

LydiaJ

Haven't had to turn to them for general living expenses apart from once a few years ago when my then husband lost his job and I was a SAHM. They've offered help with house buying, and I'm accepting that though. They're giving me some, and I'm borrowing some. The bit I'm borrowing I will pay back at interest, and beat the interest they would get in their savings account. They did the same for my siblings. Their take on it is that their parents did it for them, and helping us is their way of paying forward the help they received themselves.

PasturesNew

Bank of mum and dad didn't help me. I've come to nothing .... and I'm proud to say it's all my own doing

sjaypink

I'm really fed up of always driving cr*p cars, so have the last few days been considering asking for a bit of cash to buy a modded vw transporter, as that would make me happy for a few weeks Could, I suppose ask for the money for a house deposit instead, but then I'd have nothing to moan about on MSE of an evening

lostinrates

My parents supported me very well as a kid, I earned well ...and gave them a significant sum of money when I was earning my highest, for a specific reason and to say thanks, because they gave me a good start....so the bank also takes deposits...;)

baileysbattlebus

We have helped all of our children out at some point - only one in the house buying stakes though - and that was to pay off her debts - so she was able to go into a mortgage debt free.

We have just helped another buy a car and we have given a car to the third one.

We have loaned (given) them money for various things over the years.

We didn't have anyone we could ask for help as my parents and OH's parents had nothing - it took them all their time to manage as it was.

Would I have asked them if I had been able to - I'm not sure TBH. Perhaps because we were brought up with very little it made us very self reliant, (my siblings are all the same) our own children who were brought with plenty don't really seem to have the same self reliance.

They aren't alone, their friends are all the same. One of my sisters gave one of her children £40k towards buying her first place - grandmother paid all of the legal fees and bought a sofa and a bed for her - so she didn't spend a penny of her own money. They have a similar amount set aside for their other child.

We have friends who have a couple of BTLs one for each of their children. In fact one of them is moving in to one in April, the tenant has already been given notice.

Another friend who regularly, and I mean regularly pays of her daughter's debts when she gets into trouble.

We have friends who have remortgaged (in their 50s) to help children - would I do that - no.

As long as there are mums and dads there will be banks - but you have to ask yourself what on earth will these people do when the bank of mum and dad is no longer there.

Ours will get what's left when the time comes - if there is anything that is.

macaque_2

jetta_wales wrote: »

but it's a fantastic investment that we bought at the bottom of the market and I know we'll make a substantial return on when we do sell up and inevitably buy another wreck and do it all again.

Good for you for getting in at the bottom of the market. What puzzles me though is why you are still doing it up 15 years later.

jetta_wales

macaque wrote: »

Good for you for getting in at the bottom of the market. What puzzles me though is why you are still doing it up 15 years later.

Lol the most recent bottom, the auction was last June and we completed last August.

HAMISH_MCTAVISH

Our relatives helped us when we were young, as theirs did for them when they were young.

And now we have given our other house for an aging relative to live in rent free, and are quite prepared to help our parents if they ever need it.

The generations should help each other out. Isn't that what families are for?

jetta_wales

HAMISH_MCTAVISH wrote: »

Our relatives helped us when we were young, as theirs did for them when they were young.

And now we have given our other house for an aging relative to live in rent free, and are quite prepared to help our parents if they ever need it.

The generations should help each other out. Isn't that what families are for?

But wat about those less fortunate than us? they seem kinda screwed today particularly in the housing market.