My cat died suddenly.....new friend for remaining cat?

pikeybo

calmspirit wrote: »

Hi
I moved house 3 weeks ago and the day after we moved my 2 year old cat died suddenly on my knee......extremely traumatic- I went to pieces. He had taken the move well and was happily purring on my knee, then suddenly had a fit and died...all over in seconds........devastated does not cover it! Rushed to emergency vet who said without a post mortem would not know for sure but he said he sees it a lot in big cats (he was a big long legged ginger ) that probably a clot dislodged.

I have stopped crying every time I think of him now (although I am in floods again now!)

Question is......I still have his brother and wondered

1)how long I should wait before getting another cat (mickey is 2 and I dont want him to be alone)

2) opinions of whether I should get a kitten or cat of similar age? Remaining cat was the dominant one but is a bit of a 'mummy' lol carries his favourite soft toy to bed!

Should I wait longer for the stress of the move/loss of his brother to pass?

thanks in advance

Like you, I recently lost my baby-boy. I had to make that awful decision that pet owners never want to have to make... I had to have !!!!! put to sleep 6th February. He developed cancer at the grand age of nearly 18 and having nursed him from a kitten, the whole experience was/is completely soul destroying! I therefore send you hugs and kisses, knowing exactly how you feel x. Remember that cats are not like humans, they do not have the same window that humans need to recover from grief. I have already contacted Cats Protection on the basis that !!!!!'s sister, who's still with us, is lonely and needs a friend. What you get very much depends on your other cat's character but if in doubt, always go for a kitten. They just want to play and your other cat (who is likely to be put out regardless what you introduce to their home!) is likely to be more forgiving if faced with a kitten. I wish you all the best with whatever you get x

calmspirit

hugs back to all who understand what I am feeling....and to those who have also lost their beloved pets xxxxxx some very good advice thank you all

I admit to having been hysterical when it happened ....and every time I look out of my window and see the beautiful area that I was so excited about bringing my cats to....I just feel sad.....I have had a very difficult few years and this was supposed to be a happy time....I longed to see my cats enjoy the nature reserve at the back of our new home, now one is gone and the other too stressed to enjoy it!

sorry am having a bad night!

Moominmamma

Poor you, what a horrible thing to happen :~(

I've been in a very similar situation, one of my cats got hit by a car just before we were due to move and it was heart-breaking to watch her brother looking for her and playing as if he was playing with her, but obviuosly she wasn't there - they were extremely close.

I was in an absolute quandry as to what to do for the best as it was dreadful to see him looking so lost... long story short we re-homed another cat (a year old female, he's two and a half) after we'd moved and he'd settled in our new house but he really didn't want anything to do with her.

We're a few months down the line and only now does he seem to be becoming a little more tolerant of her, but frankly I think he'd have perferred to be on his own with us.

It really is a tough call. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

kataklysm

Oh you poor thing, i'm so sorry to hear what happened ...having recently lost a furbaby I know just what you're going through (((hug)))

As others here know, we had a visitor cat just a few days before one of my boys was killed in an rta, I don't think they would have got along very well as Guinness was extremely territorial, but we'll never know for sure. Just like yours, our boys were meant to be safe near to fields and away from roads, but we can just never predict what the future holds..

Our remaining kitty is now an indoor cat and he's still getting used to new kitty, there are occasional squabbles, but they seem to be working it out. Having said that, when visitor cat is out, Pumpkin is perfectly happy (happier in fact!) to be alone getting all the fuss/food , and us being at work all day doesn't seem to be having any detrimental effect on his mood. In fact he looks unhappiest when visitor cat is back eating all his dinner lol.

Remember though, that you are just as important to remaining cat as another feline friend! Most cats in a multiple cat household compete for the food-bringer's attention in some way or another, marking furniture excessively, possessive behaviour, quarrelling etc and they don't really think of companions or lonely in the human sense of the word. Make sure you're giving remaining cat all the love and affection you can, and maybe change his routine a bit, try some new toys, move food around so he can establish his 'new' territory.

It might be fairer to see how he gets on for now, if he's outwardly unhappy now, he may be even more upset at a strange cat in the house. There's really no hard and fast rule of course, it depends on the nature of your cat, but he may be absolutely fine on his own... with ALL the dinners x

geri1965_2

I too would leave him for now and see how he gets on being the only cat for a few months.

It can be tricky introducing other cats to the household - when my dearly departed Spook was a year old, I thought it would be an idea to get her a playmate. Worst idea I ever had! She took great umbrage to another cat being in the house and although they grew to tolerate each other, they were never the best of friends and there was often hissing and nastiness (always from Spook, it has to be said). Although there were times when they would lie next to each other on our bed.

Sorry for your loss - I know how hard it is.

loobylou2

I'm really sorry to hear about your loss. I waited a month after we lost our cat Sparkle before getting a companion for our remaining kitten Susie. I got Angel from an independent rescue after she'd been abandoned in a cardboard box and she's now a much loved member of the family and gets on well with Susie. I also think that even though Sparkle can't be with us anymore she'd probably approve of our decision. She was a very majestic and regal cat who knew how much we loved her and would probably like the fact that we'd adopted a cat who had a less fortunate start in life than she herself had!!! Hope this helps.

Curious_George_2

when my 2 year old cat died last march his brother was lost for a while,
he changed completely and seemed to go through a real grieveing process of his own,
i wouldnt have been happy getting another cat until that had finished,
we considered getting a new kitten just after christmas but as we have a toddler now it didnt seem fair on the little thing!

i guess what im saying is keep an eye on your cat and see if hes ok before bringing home a new playmate, i honestly would not have believed the grieving behaviour in my remaining cat if i hadnt seen it myself

rita-rabbit

Guess if it was me I would have to get a companion as I live alone & am out at work all day so cat would be lonely. When Chi was ill recently I thought if he dies (apart from being v upset myself) I would have to deal with getting a companion for Mia as she hates being alone (Chi goes walkabout sometimes & she's distraught sometimes when I get back if he's been gone a good while) & getting an adult cat used to another cat can be challenging

beks

(((hugs))) for you calmspirit. I am so sorry for your loss and such a shocking way for it to happen. I think many on here can totally understand the devastation of a lost furry friend.

I would be inclined to agree with others, particularly curious george who describes events nearly identical to ours. I was desparate to get another cat when our two year old cat died in a RTA. Her sister was left traumatised and not herself for weeks. I think it was over a year later that we aquired an elderly cat (well she was only 12 but she was a rescue cat and had had a hard life and was old before her time) and had them together for about a year before our elderly cat passed away too.

Our original cat is now a changed charachter and a really happy cat, the happiest we have ever seen her. I think we always feel that having another cat in the house will help them, but in reality I am not sure this is always true.

I wouldnt go rushing into anything just yet, give yourselves and your remaining cat time to grieve. I hope things start to get a little easier for you.

princess_loki

hugs to everyone who has lost their cat friend

i lost my old boy in september and the young one (who we had only had for 8 months) was so upset about losing his 'brother'. after two weeks i contacted cats protection and they had a lovely 4 month old friend who we went to see and adopted the next day. so now i have a two year old and an 8 month old who are the bestest friends in the world . they really really love each other and took to each other immediately. they are house cats and do everything together. they wash each other, play and scrap - could not ask for two happier boys