Please advise - it's all gone SO wrong

lisawaters

savingmummy wrote: »

uss is ultrasound scan good luck with that Mike, hopefully it is nothing serious. Hernia maybe?
Busy ol week for you but busy is good x

Nothing structurally wrong in the sports department, fortunately.

Rust probably.

Happytogetdebtfree

haha im sure the pie will come in good time my friend hows things nicca pm me your email i have the tax letter x

i1189

Just read through the whole thread, and I really feel for you. I'm sure I read that the builder is now working for another builder - I wonder if he knows what a dishonest git his new employee is?

Also what the wife has done, i.e. accept and transfer fraudulently obtained money sounds awfully like money laundering (see link)
http://www.laundryman.u-net.com/page11_offences.html
Technically this should be reported to SOCA.

speirsro

Afternoon all!

Not posted for a couple of days, but I've been checking daily for updates. It's beginning to feel like Eastenders (without the murder/arson etc, although, there's still time).

Mike - can you hurry things along a bit here? - I'm dying to know what happens. Haha!!

Nah, joking aside, I thought you were losing the will to fight, but the encouragement seems to have got you going (or was it they trousers causing you grief??).
My Sky+ is ready for your 15 minutes...
Good luck for Wednesday!!!

Robert.

Happytogetdebtfree

yes sky plus at the ready for your 15 mins of fame x

Chillout5892

Hi Lisa
There is no doubt about it, you have had a very VERY tough time. I empathise a lot. I too have gone through a situation a few years ago where despite my best efforts, my life also went 'tit's up' financially, health-wise, work-wise, relationship wise, mental health-wise you name it, it imploded. It was a toxic situation and I felt totally trapped, Every avenue around me felt like the start of a domino line of obstructions. I desperately wanted to help myself. I'm an intelligent well educated independent woman, if I'm so good in my job, why was I so helplessly watching my life go down the tube? Why could no-one help me? Why could no professional agencies see what I was seeing, or knew, or felt, and respond accordingly? At one point it seemed all anyone would do on my behalf was hand wringing! I thought I was going to explode. Something had to give, and I was terrified it was going to be me. I really hope you can understand what I'm trying to say, I'm not really used to talking or writing about this time.
Anyhow, there I was sitting at home, hardly able to talk or breath. My GP had repeatedly told me there was not a lot wrong with me. In fact one day he showed what he really felt and informed me, 'What's really wrong with you is you have difficulty coming to terms with ageing!') Well I turned on TV and there was Oprah featuring a woman called Suze Orman and her book '9 steps to financial freedom, practical and spiritual steps so you can stop worrying.' Well what crap!
By the end of the programme I was agitated. In between all the gushing, links that I could hardly recognise were being made deep inside me. Rhetorical questions like, why is it more difficult to expose financial problems within a relationship than discuss sexual needs. (Boy, I knew that one.) What memories do you have as a child about the way your parents handled money? How has that coloured what you think is appropriate?
Anyhow, enough was said for me to be intrigued enough to buy the book. Let's face it, at that point I had nothing left to lose. I found a used copy for 1p on a major online book store, got it, read it and sobbed my heart out for days. I did exactly what the book recommended. (It's a self help work-book) and I began to change. As I changed, I started responding differently to the situations around me and those situations started changing. This was all very strange and difficult to explain, but I'll give you an example.
About 2 weeks later, I had an out-patients appointment about my arthritis. I was feeling pretty wrecked with all the Suze stuff going off in my head. At the end of the consultation I was looking at the floor mumbling compliantly and the consultant asked 'Is there anything else worrying you?' 'well yes, but it's not really your area of expertise... don't want to waste your time....' 'try me!' Told him about my difficulty breathing, pain in my upper abdomen, the constant cough' Hmm, let's do a scan' 3 days later, Cat scan and didn't leave the hospital for 6 weeks! I had too many pulmonary embolisms to count and a 9 foot blood clot going into the bottom of my heart! (Yeah, it's quite difficult coming to terms with ageing with that going on!) Well I'm alive, yeah sure direct debits bounced all over the place while I was in hospital, but that was the start of me getting the help I needed.
This was 2005. The details of crises I've faced since then are history now. I'm on a DMP to pay @£20,000 and there are other debts such as housing benefit and incapacity benefit overpayment repayments. So I know all about Incapacity benefit tribunarials. I am now back on IC and DLA, which is being reassessed at the mo. My kidneys are failing and I'm going deaf, I'm unlikely to be work fit again, I'm 57 and learning how to live differently for the rest of my life. Unemployed, disabled and in poverty. But turning it all around included me having to fundamentally change as well.
The benefits all came from Suze and MSE. MSE was great for teaching me how to make better choices in how and where to spend my money. Suze help me change what motivates me to make the decision in the first place.
It's about time I did the book again as I'm in a different place to where I was in 2005, so maybe the best help I can offer you is, if you are interested, why don't we do the book together?
Think about it, there's no rush.
But meanwhile, take care, and look after yourself. Spring's around the corner.

lisawaters

Chillout5892 wrote: »

Hi Lisa
There is no doubt

(Answered by private message)

Thanks

lisawaters

Happytogetdebtfree wrote: »

yes sky plus at the ready for your 15 mins of fame x

3 Minutes at most apparently.

(Warhol was wrong).

x

Poosmate

Hi Mike,

You can do a lot in 3 minutes!

Sorry I still haven't contacted my friend for you but will try tomorrow.

So glad you still have your humour, I think things are going to be easier for you from now on, well I certainly hope they will!

Take care,

Poo

Happytogetdebtfree

3 minutes is like 15 I'm still up post nights affect absorbing the noise how are you feeling?