Living together apart #2

Smallqueery

Hi all, I'm new to the boards so try to be gentle with me. I was searching the net for an ans to my question and came across a thread on here where a woman wanted to get wed but didn't want to live with her spouse because they'd lived apart successfully for 8 years, she wanted to know if if she was made redundant would she be able to claim benefits. Lots of people seemed upset and felt she was wanting to cheat the system etc. Anyhoo, my situation is similar and I will explain to you why we need to live apart and hope you can be nice and give me some advice.
We want to get civil partnered because we are committed to each other and we neither of us have any family and I want her to be my next of kin and have legal rights and be recognised as my family, but we are happy having our own living space. She has suffered with mental illness and is now stable and happy but small things let alone big things like moving house could tip her into being ill, so we'd rather not tempt it. She receives DLA and income support and some help towards her housing which is supported housing and I am not in receipt of any benefits but would not be able to afford to keep her going at her place but it is important to her recovery that she is enabled to live independantly. So...any advice much appreciated, and much like the other poster I want to say right now that I am not interested in cheating any system.

nickyhutch

Can you not move to her house instead of her moving? Then she wouldn't be "tipped in" to becoming ill.

Mupette

I can't really offer any advise but good luck in finding out, you will get flamed and don't take it to heart.

healy

Smallqueery wrote: »

Hi all, I'm new to the boards so try to be gentle with me. I was searching the net for an ans to my question and came across a thread on here where a woman wanted to get wed but didn't want to live with her spouse because they'd lived apart successfully for 8 years, she wanted to know if if she was made redundant would she be able to claim benefits. Lots of people seemed upset and felt she was wanting to cheat the system etc. Anyhoo, my situation is similar and I will explain to you why we need to live apart and hope you can be nice and give me some advice.
We want to get civil partnered because we are committed to each other and we neither of us have any family and I want her to be my next of kin and have legal rights and be recognised as my family, but we are happy having our own living space. She has suffered with mental illness and is now stable and happy but small things let alone big things like moving house could tip her into being ill, so we'd rather not tempt it. She receives DLA and income support and some help towards her housing which is supported housing and I am not in receipt of any benefits but would not be able to afford to keep her going at her place but it is important to her recovery that she is enabled to live independantly. So...any advice much appreciated, and much like the other poster I want to say right now that I am not interested in cheating any system.

If you are couple you will treated as a couple for benefit purposes and her means tested benefits are likely to stop.

This is what was said before and if you are looking for a way round it is asking how to cheat the system.

alwaysonthego_2

You could be classed as a couple for benefit purposes, [you could possibly be at the moment]. You need to contact DWP/LA and ask them for their advice as they assess each case on their own merit.

As an other poster suggested would it not be easier for you to move in with your partner.

sunnyone

Smallqueery wrote: »

Hi all, I'm new to the boards so try to be gentle with me. I was searching the net for an ans to my question and came across a thread on here where a woman wanted to get wed but didn't want to live with her spouse because they'd lived apart successfully for 8 years, she wanted to know if if she was made redundant would she be able to claim benefits. Lots of people seemed upset and felt she was wanting to cheat the system etc. Anyhoo, my situation is similar and I will explain to you why we need to live apart and hope you can be nice and give me some advice.
We want to get civil partnered because we are committed to each other and we neither of us have any family and I want her to be my next of kin and have legal rights and be recognised as my family, but we are happy having our own living space. She has suffered with mental illness and is now stable and happy but small things let alone big things like moving house could tip her into being ill, so we'd rather not tempt it. She receives DLA and income support and some help towards her housing which is supported housing and I am not in receipt of any benefits but would not be able to afford to keep her going at her place but it is important to her recovery that she is enabled to live independantly. So...any advice much appreciated, and much like the other poster I want to say right now that I am not interested in cheating any system.

Why do you want to be treated diffrently than everyone else if not to abuse/cheat/defraud the system?

Making excuses dosnt change anything.

bestpud

I'm not sure if you are trying to convince us or yourself... :cool:

Look at it an other way:

If moving house will tip her into illness, how well do you think she'd cope with a fraud investigation?

If you want to make a commitment then make one - warts and all.

I have no idea what else you think we can say.

AnxiousMum

Guess I could also say then.......my partner snores so loudly that I cannot sleep at night - therefore, we have a need to be in different houses as earplugs just do not work and I'm a basketcase due to non sleep. Will the fact that we are in fact a couple mean that his income will be taken into account for any benefits in relation to my five children, three of whom are his?

Of course it would be! If you are a couple, you are a couple. You may have very valid reasons for remaining in different homes (well, to you anyway), but it is not a valid reason for then getting benefits that you would not be entitled to. You are either a couple or you are not, and getting a civil partnership between the two of you would certainly appear to anybody else that you are a couple.

As said above, it may already be very likely that you are considered a couple for means tested benefits.

hilstep2000

I don't think the OP is trying to cheat anyone. She just wants an answer. My OH and I have been together for 9 years, but each have our own place. That's the way we like it. When you have been married before, and then lived on yiur own, you get set in your ways, and as much as we love each other, the thought of being in each others' pockets 24 hours a day is not good. We love the way we each look forward to the weekends, and holidays together. Because we are not together all the time, we never tire of one another.
I think Smallqeery, that you should stay the same as you are. You can make wills out in each others' favour, and if necessary, write a document (with a solicitors help) telling each other, and everyone else your intentions.
Good Luck!

AnxiousMum

Hilstep2000 - that's a perfectly fine way to live if that is your choice. When it is not right though is when the taxpayer is expected to foot the bill for choices made. If they do certain things together and are seen as a couple in the eyes of DWP, they could be facing fraud investigations and charges down the road. Not a nice thing to have to look forward to. As long as means tested benefits are in the scenario, they need to keep this in mind.

bestpud

hilstep2000 wrote: »

I don't think the OP is trying to cheat anyone. She just wants an answer. My OH and I have been together for 9 years, but each have our own place. That's the way we like it. When you have been married before, and then lived on yiur own, you get set in your ways, and as much as we love each other, the thought of being in each others' pockets 24 hours a day is not good. We love the way we each look forward to the weekends, and holidays together. Because we are not together all the time, we never tire of one another.
I think Smallqeery, that you should stay the same as you are. You can make wills out in each others' favour, and if necessary, write a document (with a solicitors help) telling each other, and everyone else your intentions.
Good Luck!

And one, or both of you, claim means tested benefits?