Thats another fine mess I got myself into

Woowoo

Oh no, I bet you wanted to kick something really hard!

REDMADCURLS

You know I am almost beaten by this debt busting. Today I thought f*** it, I am going to declare bankrupcy as I cant stand this any longer.....its like 1 step forward, gain a little confidence and then take 20 back.

Has DH put his stuff on ebay - no of course not, he is too busy. You know me holding down a full time job, working on accouts, cleaning the house and trying to put things on ebay is just a past time for me....I do wish I could find something to do to fill my time!!!!!!!

Its too hard to juggle.....and I dont think I can do it anymore. I will be paid tomorrow and within 10 minutes it will be gone for another month. Whats the point. Today I had to come home from work because I didn't have enough petrol in my car to do the visits I needed to. How bad can it get?

Cash flow as always is the problem and trying to get a method to this maddness. I think I have wasted the last couple of months because here I am again with charges, unpaid dd's and one late cc.

Please forgive me but today has just been too much!

Woowoo

Take a deep breath!

I honestly think you can beat this and you have been making progress no matter how slow it feels right now.

If you decide bankruptcy is the right course of action for you then you should investigate this. However, this is the first time you mentioned this and so I don't think its what you ultimately want to do.

Have you ever considered going down the unenforceable route?

I have faith in you x

REDMADCURLS

Woo - ta

Realistically I wont go down any route other than the 'pay it all back' route unless they drag me to an alternative kicking and screaming. I do think I am morally obliged to pay it back and you and I both know so many people on here get little bits of good fortune following them on this journey.

So I need to regroup and jump back on the train, which I will but probably not until tomorrow.

I have received a much need kick up the !!!!, I have my health and today I had to remind myself that means I have everything,

Woowoo

Your right your health is the most important thing.

Glad to hear you sounding focused again, you will be debt free x

REDMADCURLS

Yes some fine day when I am old and grey I will be debt free!

But by looking closely at business account I have no idea why internet provider thinks we should pay for internet for entire county, so DH going to look into that!

hypno06

You will get these times, when it just feels as though you are wading thruogh treacle, and everyone else is storming on by.....goodness knows, I have had plenty of those times myself on my journey.

But believe me, it DOES improve - it DOES get better. Little by little things change for the the better and get that bit easier. It just requires focus and determination, and if you have those then you will get there.

chin up x

REDMADCURLS

Thanks Hypno

On some days it is harder to find boxes of focus and determination in the very cluttered cupboard I call my life! But it COULD be worse and its not, and (to borrow your phrase) 'just for' this evening I am extremely thankful for that IYKWIM

Herewego

:EasterBun:beer: Thought this might make things a little better, works for me LOL.
Good to see you come a full circle today thats one thing you have gained since coming on here a fighting spirit, you know you can bust this and you will get there blood sweat and lots of tears
Keep coming in and posting even if its for a rant, you will get back on track i felt like i was going backwards when DH kept spending on his cc its ok now I have sorted him .

REDMADCURLS

Thank God for here, even if noone ever reads my diary, I feel it is the only place I can be honest about my debt and feel understood!

Recession seems to have brought out alot of 'I am broke' but I wonder if they really are. We are now conciously choosing to tell people, no sorry we are broke! But the difference is we really are.

DH made a good point this evening, he could shut down business but where would he realistically get a job. He says he is too old to chef at 44, and that he has been out of it so long now, he would have to start quite low down the pecking order. Easiest and most secure option is to go to public sector and as 'Call Me Dave' has advised, jobs will go and of course amenities and support services are always first hit. So for now we will have to plod on.

I have eaten enough to keep a small African country going for a month, today! And so what! LOL

To all of you who read, and/or comment, thank you - it keeps me sane (and probably from being up on a murder charge!)