Hen RAGE! Argh!!!!!

hellokitty08

Dont you think that would be mean to say I dont want to go? I am available for help online as much as I can if anyone wants me to! I also have lots of useful / useless info that covers the Northampton / Northamptonshire area. On the plus side I have another friend getting married in 2011, thats looking forward to having my help. hehehe

Emma1988

OH MY LIFE!!! why doesnt she just get you to tray on her dress for her as well? seriously why doesnt she want to do all this stuff herself? its her wedding not yours!!! she needs to get a grip... kitty you shouldnt take any rubbish off her.. i wouldnt expect my bridesmaids to do what your doing! hope she realises that your a true friend hun!:)

frannyann

Honestly Kitty, she sounds like she is treating you less of a friend and more of an unpaid wedding planner!!

hellokitty08

I've gone for option 1. This is the last thing I'm doing though. Remind me of that. She already has appointments booked so I guess that's something.

Horace

Kitty - don't go to London, do your own thing and let her organise her hen do herself, as for being chief bridesmaid do you still want that job - she doesnt deserve you let her stew.

hellokitty08

I really dont want to, but I dont want her to fall out with me. It going to be £28 for the train, plus she wants me to pay half for the carpark at the train station! or arrange lifts, then by the time we have had lunch and got a couple of drinks im sure that will be the best part of £50 I would rather spend paying off my credit card. I did try to express this to her yesterday, current debts around 5K!

I would just think I was being really mean if I didnt go though.

jinky67

I wouldnt
She is taking the pee, she has pooh poohed all your ideas and hard work so far!

Just say to her that you cannot afford to go

Rosie75

I think it is beyond rude to expect other people to stump up huge amounts of money when you are the one getting married. Expecting people to jump on a train to London to try on dresses and not reimbursing their costs is just not on. Nor is expecting people to stump up for lavish hen nights (I would class £140 as an extravagant amount to spend on a hen night - it might not be to some people, but those invited are all going to have different financial circumstances). It costs people enough to go to a wedding as it is, what with travel, accommodation, new outfits and presents to buy. When I got married recently, I had no bridesmaids, and a just a few drinks in the village pub with a few of my neighbours instead of a hen-night because I felt people were already spending money to come to my wedding as it was. I know couples who have got married abroad, and also had stag and hen "weeks" in another country (ie. a third country - in one case the stag was a 13-hour flight away!).
Expecting people to do all these things, and then being rude to them in the process is bridezillaness in the extreme.
It's difficult if you don't want to fall out with her. I suppose it's a question of how much you're prepared to put up with (and pay out for) in order not to do that. If she knows about your debts but still expects you to spend money on her, that's not really the behaviour of a particularly understanding friend.

Stephb1986_2

Let me get this right... your a bridesmaid and a friend is getting married? Because to me it looks like your doing everything for her including wiping her backside because she is too bloody lazy to look herself if I was you I would take a back seat and let her do some for her own wedding!!

I watch most episodes of Bridezillas and one bride let her mate do all the planning and then at the end of the wedding she had the cheek to turn round and say she never got anything she wanted!!!

Good luck

Steph xx

hellokitty08

Well after a very stressful weekend of thinking what should I do, I have decided to go (to London). Although this will be my last attempt to be helpful, and I am expecting a stressful day, I am hoping it will score me some brownie points when I say I cant afford to come to her uber expensive hen do. Which i think will cost more then what I spent on my last holiday abroad, which was three years ago.

My plan, if I am allowed would be to join the hens for one night and therefore save a lot of money by booking my hotel room direct and not having as many expenses to pay out as I would over three days.

I was really worried about telling my friend I wouldnt be able to go tomorrow and having a look at my bank balance I should be able to go if I dont have any more treats for the rest of the month. I am going to have to stress to them all day about not having much money and maybe take a drink and some snacks with me.

~OMG serious edit alert. Have been doing my best mseing, trying to find the best price train ticket for tomorrow and was looking at getting a tube ticket only for the regions we would be going to, thinking Camden and Hollowell, but checked the text message my friend sent me yesterday, she has an 11am appointment in Richmond! Which we would not be able to get to until 11.30am if we left at 9am. Plus then we are going to be over an hour away from all the other places she said she wanted to go! Which to me just screams more hassle! I seriously think she lives on a different planet to me. She just seems to have randomly picked places to book appointments with not thinking about how we are actually going to get there! And these places are really far apart, Im just waiting for her to tell me she has a 1pm appointment in Glasgow!!!!!