Hen RAGE! Argh!!!!!

hellokitty08

Ok, a few of you might know my friend is planning her wedding and Im chief Bridesmaid. I started off by helping them to plan the wedding, doing a budget, getting some quotes, arranging visits to dress shops etc. Then my friend told me, you will also have to arrange the hen party as your chief bridesmaid! Arrgh, panic set in, i forgot all about that. She told me she wanted to make chocolate, have spa treatments, but wanted the details to be a surprise.

No problem I thought, Il get something sorted, that must be cheap, and fun for all. I spent ages searching for the right thing and picked something I thought would be perfect.

Cue two months later when I am ready to make a booking and I ask her for her friends details, she knows its still a surprise, but it takes her weeks to do this. During which time she goes to visit two old friends, who didnt even bother to come to her engagement party and i guess in her excitment tells them she wants them to help organise her hen party.

They find some over priced packages with hen companies and e-mail the group of friends. I being a true MSEer, google the description of the hotel and find really bad reviews for it on trip advisor and put together a package cheaper. I e-mail the group saying I wasnt comfortable spending such a large amount of money on hotel which has such really bad reviews, but I had come up with some alternatives. (ok, i had the wrong hotel but this was what was listed on the companies website and no one had given the name of the hotel)

Then I get an e-mail giving me the name of the hotel and I say ohh im relieved, that one looks much better, but if you book direct you get an even better deal.

Cue today, my friend e-mails me to tell me she has changed her mind again and would like to go to Bath, can I find some hotels and spas there. No problem I say, ive been there many times, so know it quite well. (on a seperate note we are also have a conversation about tables, she gets rectangle tables at the venue but wants to hire round ones, which i costed for her. I said I didnt see the point spending £120 hiring tables but that it was her choice.)

She replies,

Well it is my money so I might If I want to but I do really like the long table look. Any details please send to me as I want to e-mail the group as I did not appreciate the comments I got back from people the e-mail you sent eveyone about the wrong hotel a few people thought you were being really rude!!

:eek:

cue my reply,

Well if you would prefer to do everything yourself your more then welcome. I was saying I don’t see the point, but obviously its not my point that matters. You’re the one who keeps asking me to send the group e-mails and the information I got on the hotel was from the ****** website, and seems as no one actually said what the hotel was I thought I was being helpful by pointing out that the hotel they had listed on their website for a 4* spa break in Bristol wasn’t very nice. But if you would prefer me not to get involved I don’t mind.

I work 6 days a week and have a very busy home life. am I being harsh in thinking that she has just been a right cheekie so and so! I have oragnised everything for her so far and after christmas I dropped the wedding stuff as they didnt seem to care, got involved again this week, but I really dont think I should be bothering. I just had to get this off my chest. If your still with me well done, maybe I should take a calms!!!!!

BonandDom

Deep deep breaths, hot bath, some nice smellies, glass of wine and relaaaxxxx.

It does sound to me like she is taking a lend of your good nature though

hellokitty08

She just replied and said to me,

Well if that is the way you react when I express my point of view you really are a true friend thanks, now I know the way you really feel!!!

I said,

Strange that, that’s exactly how I felt when I got your e-mail!

birduk

FORGET THE E-MAIL, TALK TO EACH OTHER!!!

Sorry, had to shout. So much can be misconstrued in an e-mail as you can't get tone across. It all sounds rather stressful to me. Call her and clear it all up. You are a good friend so don't forget it. x

hellokitty08

I do see what your saying, I have no idea how she read my e-mail, but I think I will give it a while, as she cant answer her phone at work anyway. I just feeling she is taking the piddle and I really dont want to help any more.

Thats why I will give her a call next week, when I have calmed down, ohh saying that she is supposed to be coming out for my birthday on Monday!

Lexxi

You'd probably be better having a brew (or wine) calming down and phoning her, ask her what it is she wants you to plan and if she wants you to run things by her. It might be that she thinks people might pooh pooh your idea if they weren't impressed with your email about the hotel.
I told my MOH I wanted a spa and about 2 hours later she told me that she could live with that. Doesn't sound good in writing, we were face to face, catching up, chatting etc and I just laughed at her

Bogof_Babe

God help her husband :rotfl:.

hellokitty08

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

God help her husband :rotfl:.

lol I really dont know what to do, I checked the e-mail i sent about the hotel, it was really poliet!!!!!

Lexxi

Is it the wedding stress?

hellokitty08

or pmt? I dont think im being out of order being a bit (lot) miffed am I? Anyway I e-mailed her back, as I might foget to phone her later,

I am sorry if you feel at any point I have been rude to you, that was not my intention, seems as you know how I speak I didn’t think you would take anything I said in the wrong way, which I believe you may have.

I have only ever wanted to help you, however if you feel I am not being that helpful I don’t mind if you would prefer me to interfere less, this is not me saying I don’t want to help, but I don’t want to upset / offend you, that has never been my intention.

I want it to be your special day and I have been really grateful so far that you have allowed me to get involved as you know I love weddings, I just didn’t want you at any point to think I was trying to make you do anything, which is why I always state, its your choice, this is what I found, have you considered this, rather then You should do this, or you must do that. If that has not been clear again I apologise, but this is truly how I meant it. I have never intended to try and convince you of anything, just to let you know what your options where.

You’re my bestest, bestest friend, and I love you, please lets not fall out. I think we must both be having stressful days.

What do i do if she doesnt reply or contact me? Do you think the balls in her court now? I dont feel like I should be apologising, but what can i do?

yumyums

Your last email is really sweet and I'm sure she'll contact you. It's probably the stress of everything getting to her