Trying to help my daughter have her LBM

kaz0705

Hi,

I think I'd agree with the comment about not shopping for them unless they have their pocket money with them. Children can't deal with concepts, only tangible things; money in their hand is tangible and shows exactly what they've got. Anything else is too abstract.

You said you warned your daughter that she might be spending more than she could afford but you weren't sure what she had; was this irresponsible lending?:rotfl:

I understand the desire to make your kids avoid any mistakes you might have made but try and keep it black and white: here is the money you have. This is what you can afford. Easy.

Save the abstract concepts for when they're stroppy teenages

Kaz

x

MyLastFiver

LydiaJ wrote: »

That's interesting. There's also research that kids who can "do" delayed gratification at age 3 (with smarties) do better in life (in almost all respects - qualifications, money, career, marriage) than those who can't. That's why I'm trying to teach it to her now.

But your toyshop lesson does not teach her to delay gratification. It teaches her that she can have things now and pay later.

I'm not jumping down your throat here - all in the spirit of discussion - but for reasons others have pointed out, six is a bit young to have your daughter on a DMP

MyLastFiver

More thoughts: Your thread has caused me to remember a time when I was 7 or 8 when I borrowed 2p off a school friend so I could afford something I wanted. When I got home and told my mum she made me crack open my piggy bank, and drove me round to the lad's house to give him the 2p back straight away.

I'm grateful to my mum for trying, but to be honest it didn't teach me to live within my means, otherwise I wouldn't be on the DFW board

Impulsivity and delaying of gratification are extremely complicated ideas in psychology and the prerequisites for being good with money, a healthy eater, a non-smoker, a safe driver or whatever go far deeper than merely having parents who modelled good habits in these areas, although modelling good habits is certainly a good idea.

I know a lot about this area of psychology and could go on, but won't bore everyone with it here unless anyone wants me to

the_cat

I'm another who thinks she is too young.

At her age, it is impossible for her to understand the concept of debt. Many 6 year olds would struggle to add/subtract, never mind work out interest and repayments.

I would tackle it more from the angle of giving her choices. It was not fair to let her take ALL the stuff she fleetingly liked when you knew she couldn't afford it. Let her choose 1 thing only when in the shops. Too bad if she has a strop. That is part of learning. At 6 she can be introduced to the idea that she cannot have everything and how to prioritise. If possible, make a special trip and take her pocket money with you. Let her hand over her pennies herself. It seems much more real to hand over your own cash in exchange for the goodies.

I have a son (now 17) who was like your daughter as a child. Eventually I did a similar thing to you and lent him money which he repaid. It was an extremely valuable lesson to him and don't worry he is now excellent with money, has savings and budgets from his allowance for all his needs. He was about 12/13 though so well able to understand the concept. I would say you have had a good idea, but about 6 years too early!

There is a very good reason why children/young adults under 18 are unable to get credit. The law has decided that they are unable to understand the concept of debt. Some kids are ready earlier (which is why I did the loan thing for my DS) but at 6 your DD most certainly will not understand and will feel she is being punished without knowing what she did wrong