Trying to help my daughter have her LBM

Horace

When I saw this I thought that the OP was talking about someone in their late teens/early twenties and not a 6 year old.

When you are 6 you like to spend..buy comics each week and sweets once a fortnight, you don't think about debt and owing money because you're a child. Your son is older and has more concept of money which is great because he saves for things, your daughter hasn't matured enough to know that if she saves she can buy nice things for herself.

Remember OP that you are the adult and your word is law - no means no and if you don't want her to have whatever in the toy shop then you don't buy it because money doesnt grown on trees. At the moment you are teaching her that its ok to spend money on things that she won't play with or whatever because you will buy it for her regardless.

Let her spend her pocket money on junk - she's 6 not 26. If she wants to earn more pocket money then get her to help by clearing the table, laying the table or drying the dishes, keeping her bedroom tidy. Put any money that she gets for her birthday or christmas directly into a building society account so that she can see it grow - keep her pocket money in her piggy bank and she can either ask you to add it to the building society account or spend it.

bouncydog1

I think you are right to start thinking about teaching your children the value of money, but I personally think the better way is to let them buy stuff with their own money rather than you buy it and they "owe" you.

How about getting a jar and saving pennies and then playing games so she learns how many pennies it takes to make a pound. The sheer volume of the money will probably have more impact than a £ coin.

That way if when you are out and she wants something of £4 and only has £2 saved, you can explain that she needs another 2 piles of 100 pennies to buy what she wants. If you give her pocket money in pennies she will soon get the idea.

However I would let her buy what she wants with her own money, whether it be sweets, rubbish etc - there is something quite satisfying about having bought what you want with your own money, even though your mum disapproves!!!:rotfl:

DarkConvict

Your right to teach them about the value of money, but you need to make the executive decision of been a parent not a bank manager. We have all been kids, time passes and we don't realise unless its close to our birthday or Christmas. She won't understand the no toys for 9 weeks very well.

My nephew is nearly 10 and very intuitive for his age, but i think even at his age he is not ready to understand this to the extent adults should, money is a life experience you need to live with it a bit. High school education i think would be a more suitable target age. As others have said, she is still in the innocence of childhood, teach her what you like but remember she is a child.

Final point, i was brought up on only buy what you can afford, advance credit for pocket money was not an option. What do i do now, I have 1 credit card for online purchases for protection only which is paid in full, buffer of savings and manage the family finances. Saying NO once now, is better than saying No for the next 9 weeks! If your son is a mischvisous blighter he might purposely buy toys for the next 9 weeks to spite her, you cant say no to him as his has money otherwise you show favourtism.

Sweet_Pea_2

I just wanted to say that your children sound exactly like my DD's. Eldest one is very careful and thoughtful about what she spends her money on and doesn't waste it, but DD2's money burns a hole in her pocket. I think that what you are doing with your DD sounds a good idea, I am trying to do similar with my DD2 but she is not getting it yet. Good luck!

bluebag

At age six the concept of time is very difficult.. a week is the same as an hour, she is unlikely to understand.
Responsible spending is a good thing, as in spending only what she has.

You have introduced borrowing to her, she is too young to understand it and it would have been impossible for her to borrow without your facilitating it.

Rather than teaching her the concept of debt and repayment wouldn't it have been better to teach her the much simpler 'spend only what you have'?

planning_ahead_2

Sorry - but personally I think 'LBM' at 6 is not realistic. My thoughts are to not let her buy things until she can afford them. Don't teach her about the options of credit and debt yet (which is what you are techncially doing). However, this is just my opinion.

You are going to get opinions which both support and disagree with what you are doing. You, as her parent, must do what you believe to be right.

sp1987

Could she check that her creditor has a valid CCA to enforce the debt? I'm guessing from her age it can't be statute barred :rotfl:

Why don't you get her to post her statement of affairs so any overspends can be reduced.

She could always go to CAB and get some advice on making lower payments to her toy shop debt considering her low income. Though £1 a week is double what she's got so could be tricky!

Could she make a full and final settlement offer if she misses a payment for a week and her debt gets passed on to her dad?

As a last resort she could consider bankruptcy which would be off her credit file in time for secondary school.

Sorry, couldn't resist.

I think 6 is probably a bit young to be introduced to crippling debt, she probably has forgotton she owes anything and will be annoyed when her brother gets ''more'' for 9 weeks and she does not because of something she has broken/lost/eaten already.

Isaac-Hunt

LydiaJ wrote: »

Tell me if you think I'm doing the right thing...

My son is a careful planner who can save his pocket money and think about how much he wants to spend on what. My daughter is a completely different personality - spontaneous, impulsive, living in the moment. He will listen to explanations and consider reasons for doing or not doing something. She only ever learns from experience. She's lots of fun, but I foresee problems ahead once she's old enough to have money and borrow money. If he buys something, she wants to buy one too, and something else as well because she likes feeling she's got more than him. But he's older than her, and gets more pocket money, so she never has as much saved up as he does.

Today, he wanted to go to the toyshop for something he really wanted and knew he could easily afford. We went on the way home from school. They hadn't got their money with them, but I said I'd pay and they could pay me back when we got home. She chose loads of stuff. I warned her it would use up all her money and maybe more, but I could tell it didn't mean anything to her. So I let her buy the stuff.

We got home. She has paid off as much as she can, but is still in debt. She owes me £4.80. With disposable income of 54p a week, this will take 9 weeks to pay off - which is a very long time if you're an impulsive 6 year old.

I have explained about debt. I have explained that it will take 9 weeks to pay it back. I have explained that grown-ups sometimes get into trouble with debt that takes years to pay back. I have told her she's lucky to have the chance to learn this lesson while she's little. I'm going to encourage her to feel proud to be dealing with her debts. When she's older, I'll explain Martin's good debt or bad debt thing.

Part of me feels I'm being a bit cruel. But I think on balance I'm doing the right thing. What do you think?

Jesus Christ! You seriously need to get a grip. Your daughter is six years old and you're trying to impose adult fiscal ideologies on her?

Of course she is impulsive - again, she is SIX years old! Maturity comes with age, not impositions of an overbearing parent.

Furthmore you seem to be somewhat of an inept parent in not realising that it is widely accepted that children cannot comprehend the concept of causality until eight years old meaning your "oh so important" life lesson appears to be a waste of time.

yenool

Isaac-Hunt wrote: »

Jesus Christ! You seriously need to get a grip. Your daughter is six years old and you're trying to impose adult fiscal ideologies on her?

Of course she is impulsive - again, she is SIX years old! Maturity comes with age, not impositions of an overbearing parent.

Furthmore you seem to be somewhat of an inept parent in not realising that it is widely accepted that children cannot comprehend the concept of causality until eight years old meaning your "oh so important" life lesson appears to be a waste of time.

Although a bit harsh I totally agree with this ^ post to be honest.

I mean she is 6 years old, by all means get her a piggy bank/savings jar and encourage her to save up the pennies she earns doing jobs for mum & dad, but trying to teach her a lesson in debt by giving her a 9 week punishment for buying toys is not going to achieve much IMO. - I think you have to set limits before going to the toy shop, IE: 'You can only have 1 small toy or 2 things of sweets, etc'.

One of my earliest memories of money is saving up for a Sonic computer game (anyone remember the sega master system and megadrive? lol), I can remember saving for ages and then one saturday my mum and I counted the coppers in the jar and took them to the bank, apparently I had enough to buy the game I had wanted for months (although I suspect she may have topped the jar up a little!)....................

I must have been around 7 or 8 at the time and even though I understood the idea of saving I am not sure I would have grasped the idea of debt and certainly not the understanding of why I wasn't allowed any treats for 9 weeks!

TBH I think let kids be kids, the difference you are describing between your two also sounds like an boy / girl, age and personality difference, I don't think you need to worry about trying to teach finance until they are well into secondary school.

mummum2

yenool wrote: »

Although a bit harsh I totally agree with this ^ post to be honest.

I mean she is 6 years old, by all means get her a piggy bank/savings jar and encourage her to save up the pennies she earns doing jobs for mum & dad, but trying to teach her a lesson in debt by giving her a 9 week punishment for buying toys is not going to achieve much IMO. - I think you have to set limits before going to the toy shop, IE: 'You can only have 1 small toy or 2 things of sweets, etc'.

One of my earliest memories of money is saving up for a Sonic computer game (anyone remember the sega master system and megadrive? lol), I can remember saving for ages and then one saturday my mum and I counted the coppers in the jar and took them to the bank, apparently I had enough to buy the game I had wanted for months (although I suspect she may have topped the jar up a little!)....................

I must have been around 7 or 8 at the time and even though I understood the idea of saving I am not sure I would have grasped the idea of debt and certainly not the understanding of why I wasn't allowed any treats for 9 weeks!

TBH I think let kids be kids, the difference you are describing between your two also sounds like an boy / girl, age and personality difference, I don't think you need to worry about trying to teach finance until they are well into secondary school.

Also agree with the above points! She's still only a baby.

MM2