Trying to help my daughter have her LBM

LydiaJ

Tell me if you think I'm doing the right thing...

My son is a careful planner who can save his pocket money and think about how much he wants to spend on what. My daughter is a completely different personality - spontaneous, impulsive, living in the moment. He will listen to explanations and consider reasons for doing or not doing something. She only ever learns from experience. She's lots of fun, but I foresee problems ahead once she's old enough to have money and borrow money. If he buys something, she wants to buy one too, and something else as well because she likes feeling she's got more than him. But he's older than her, and gets more pocket money, so she never has as much saved up as he does.

Today, he wanted to go to the toyshop for something he really wanted and knew he could easily afford. We went on the way home from school. They hadn't got their money with them, but I said I'd pay and they could pay me back when we got home. She chose loads of stuff. I warned her it would use up all her money and maybe more, but I could tell it didn't mean anything to her. So I let her buy the stuff.

We got home. She has paid off as much as she can, but is still in debt. She owes me £4.80. With disposable income of 54p a week, this will take 9 weeks to pay off - which is a very long time if you're an impulsive 6 year old.

I have explained about debt. I have explained that it will take 9 weeks to pay it back. I have explained that grown-ups sometimes get into trouble with debt that takes years to pay back. I have told her she's lucky to have the chance to learn this lesson while she's little. I'm going to encourage her to feel proud to be dealing with her debts. When she's older, I'll explain Martin's good debt or bad debt thing.

Part of me feels I'm being a bit cruel. But I think on balance I'm doing the right thing. What do you think?

zcrat41

Hi, I don't have kids so am probably not the best person to comment. however, what you're doing seems to make sense to me. I wondered if you offered her the chance to earn it back - say 10p for drying the dishes or something?

MyLastFiver

"I'm going to encourage her to feel proud to be dealing with her debts."

Probably better to encourage her to feel proud about not getting into debt. You meant well but I would think twice about letting your kids have things that they or you cannot afford.

This may have led to tantrums/sulks in the toy shop but probably best for her to learn the concept of value and scarcity. This helps her appreciate and cherish what she does have, and plan a special purchase, like your son does, rather than run around the toy shop choosing whatever bright packaging catches her eye.

mrs:optimist_2

My DD is only 2 years old but when she's older I am going to start teaching her about money and the dangers of borrowing.

I learned a lot from my parents' mistakes (nothing money related) and I really want her to learn from our mistakes!

I really wish my parents had warned me and instilled a sense of responsibility when it came to money, but I was given everything I wanted. They were wealthy but once I was on my own I wasn't at all well off but still wanted everything, and I wanted it now.

I've learned the lesson now, but it has taken a debt of over £30,000 to make me wake up to it!

MyLastFiver

Just to add:

There is research that shows that wealthy people often had upbringings in which money was tight. Perhaps it is because they learned about value at a young age that they learned to manage their own finances successfully.

dueyb

Hi just wanted to say I was terrible when I was young I always spent every spare penny I had, my brother was the complete opposite. It has never become an issue since I've become a grown -up had my own money and had bills I've always been careful only ever having a loan (£1500) to upgrade our was small kitchen. She'll soon learn she's 6 and only see's the now.

SkintGypsy

I bought the Pocket Money Plan and read it just the other day. It is about teaching your children how to manage and value money. My daughter is only four, but I really want her to never be in the position I have been in!

kindofagilr

yeah I wouldnt stress her out too much about it, when I was her age money burned a hole in my pocket as well, but my brother never spent his.

Make her pay it back, even tell her she can pay back more by doing extra, but dont stress her out too much

pure_dead_dopey

Hy Guys

I think I 'm with Closed, six is young and Lydia you are her Mother, so in the shop you are in charge. Six is still young to be grasping financial details like debt, much better to be establishing that Mum is the boss and what she says, goes.

savingmummy

I`m a little shocked tbh, i thought it was going to be a 18-21 yr old with credit cards and store cards!
She is very young and i don`t think she is old enough to understand `debts` etc.
IF you don`t want her to be overspending pocket money you give to her then i`d suggest not shopping without it (that way she can only spend what she has).
It is great your teaching her young about importance BUT i feel it is a bit too young.
My dd is coming up 4 and at the moment i`m teaching her to pop pennies in her penny pot for nice things. She now hunts for roadkill (her new hobby lol!) and is saving for a playhouse for the garden
One thing i have taught my DD is she can`t have what she `wants` and if she does ask i explain i have no pennies and she is fine with that!
I am very keen to start teaching young but not this young!

LittleMissKitty

Hi, I'm not sure about this one.

My daughter's nearly 5 and I've never even thought about pocket money for her. Maybe I'm being naive. I know that when I was young money was transient to me. It disappeared as soon as I got it whereas my brother was very good at saving and always spent his money on gifts for others.

Now I'm the one who watches the pennies and he is always skint despite living at home and earning a fortune. I don't think he even opens his bank statements! I think life will probaly take over when she's a bit older and no matter what you teach her now she'll end up trying to learn for herself one way or another anyway.

However you have my utmost respect for even thinking about financial education at this age! My children are stuffed, lol!