getting it off my chest...

Any

Lotus-eater wrote: »

If I didn't have any for 1.6 months! I would be thinking in a different way about the fat old slapper that lives down the road........ blimey, 1.6 weeks and I'd be climbing the walls.
Luckily not everyone's like me :rotfl:

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
LOL

Pee

Being sexual incompatable may mean you need to end a relationship, may mean that you need to discuss it, doesn't give you the right to seek it elsewhere without that discussion.

ameliarate

Does anyone know what the OP is actually asking?

Any

Pee wrote: »

Being sexual incompatable may mean you need to end a relationship, may mean that you need to discuss it, doesn't give you the right to seek it elsewhere without that discussion.

I don't know the ins and outs of this relationship in detail, but from what I read I clearly think that this man is a man who looks after his family and has strong believe that family should be a unit and is quite possibly still in love with this woman.

Otherwise I cannot imagine why he didn't leave yet.

I agree that you should discuss it first, but you can blame her as much as him for things getting as bad as they are.

So_lonely+afraid

Ok I have obvioulsy worded this wrong. We do have s*x regularly once or twice a week. He frequently tells me he loves me.

And yes I am a mean, cruel old c*w to stay with him. I work full time in a badly paid job. I haven't moved out as it is just as much my home as his. We have discussed this and he won't move out either for the same reason as me, i had hoped he might as it would be easier for him as he can rent a place from his parents and he has his own bank account - i am only allowed our joint account. Its not all bad we do have a giggle and a laugh but I'm not "in love" with him anymore. I don't like the things he has done during our life together. Yes I should just up and leave but fear of being even more hard up than I already am and having the kids suffer is what keeps me here. The boys are both happy and don't seem to have suffered in anyway. They both joke that when either myself or DH wins the lottery we'll give the other one a fiver and tell them to b*gger off. Yes it does sound as though I only used him to have kids but I can assure you I didn't. I didn't in anyway purposefully get pregnant the first time - we were using contraceptive and it came off, i ended up in hospital having to have it removed.

I don't really know myself what I'm asking for here either. I guess I was just wanting 2 c if I was the only one out there in this situation.

Crab

ameliarate wrote: »

Does anyone know what the OP is actually asking?

Maybe she was just 'getting it off her chest'. It helps to do this, doesn't mean you need answers from anyone, maybe you know the answer already. Maybe you just need to talk it out, hear some opinions to help you concentrate your thoughts.

Back to OP, I do think you both deserve something more fulfilling. You were very young when you got married, and it is not unusual for people 16 or so years later to feel that this isn't what they want for the rest of their lives.

I agree that the husband, despite his visits to Amsterdam and the drugs thing (though this sounds more like it was recreational rather than a bad habit) sounds like a decent man, who has tried to keep his family unit together.

I repeat what I said earlier, to balance the people who are all 'I need s*x': not everyone does. Some people are just naturally ambivalent about it. If two such people find each other, they can have a perfectly satisfying, loving relationship. It's when there's an imbalance of desire that the problems can start.

Any

OP - you latest post describes COMPLETELY different situation.

Can you please start again?

January20

Re-reading the first post and then the last one, I want to raise a couple of points:

Money has always been tight but he pays for s*x? And he gets s*x at home too?

He has his own account but you can only put your money in the joint account? Why not get your own account. You said he wasn't violent didn't you? Does he stop you from opening an account?

You had ambitions and dreams but are in a low paid job? The boys are getting older and more independent I expect so why not try and study to improve your chances of a better job?

You don't want to leave because of the house? Is that the only reason? You are obviously not happy.

If they made that joke, the boys must be aware something is not quite right!

Counting_Pennies_2

I would recommend going to get some counselling to make sense of everything.