Feel alone and let down

sulkisu

woodtop wrote: »

Thankyou everyone for your kind words i felt i needed to talk to someone and because i have no friends or family i felt it right to post on here.
I cannot go into every detail because it will be to long a story but it is to do with my ex and money ,my home and having to move out ,my illness .

But without telling us anything at all, all that people can offer are 'well meant' platitudes. If you want real advice, then you need to say what the problem is. Saying that it is to do with your ex, your home, your illness, frankly means nothing. I appreciate that you might not want to divulge details, but that is a bit like saying, 'I would like help to solve a problem, but I'm not telling you what the problem is'.

patchwork_cat

Agree with Sulkisu - we can all surmise that this is to do with your youngest DS reaching 18 and the sale of the family home and distribution on the half share to your ex. However this may not be correct and so it is just platitudes that we can give. I am sorry thpough that you are feeling alone and let down, but let us know what exactly has happened and we can be either more specific in our platitudes or offer real advice about how to improve the situation you find yourself in.

red_devil

your not alone my sis had this. She bought her son up and when he was a teenager he went to live with his dad about 30 mile away. At first he came back to see her and rang etc but over the years contact has got less and less.

She hardly sees him and contact is minimal. She does get cards and the odd text and email but its not much and certainly not what she thought would be happening. She thought she would be more involved in his life and see him more than once/twice a year.


She knows that he sees alot of his dad and stepmum and while she is pleased that they are looking out for him and inviting him over and going to see him etc she cant help feeling pushed out especially as she bought him up from when she divorced when he was 2.

There is no magic answer for her she knows he has to realise for himself that he has to find the passion want and desire to see mum or call her up and see how she is? It dosent happen much at the moment. There isnt anything you can do really. It may change one day in the meantime get on with your life for you cos other people do and they dont worry about you.

Things dont always stay the same forever.

red_devil

Sagaris wrote: »

Children can be very selfish, can't they?

I'm in a similar situation to you, not seen or heard from either of mine in over a year - it does get better, but never goes away, perhaps in time they will come back?

The thing is when they are ready to come back will you be bothered!

it annoys me its on others terms. I will do it when im ready yes but what if said person has lost interest or not alive by the time you get round to it!

patchwork_cat

red_devil wrote: »

your not alone my sis had this. She bought her son up and when he was a teenager he went to live with his dad about 30 mile away. At first he came back to see her and rang etc but over the years contact has got less and less.

She hardly sees him and contact is minimal. She does get cards and the odd text and email but its not much and certainly not what she thought would be happening. She thought she would be more involved in his life and see him more than once/twice a year.


She knows that he sees alot of his dad and stepmum and while she is pleased that they are looking out for him and inviting him over and going to see him etc she cant help feeling pushed out especially as she bought him up from when she divorced when he was 2.

There is no magic answer for her she knows he has to realise for himself that he has to find the passion want and desire to see mum or call her up and see how she is? It dosent happen much at the moment. There isnt anything you can do really. It may change one day in the meantime get on with your life for you cos other people do and they dont worry about you.

Things dont always stay the same forever.

red devil - the thing is the OP hasn't said that this is the case -we are all making assumptions, until the OP gives more info we are playing a guessing game. Sorry for your sis, though.

red_devil

i know i just wanted to add my bit to the thread about children not bothering letting you down etc.

red_devil

its not a question of debating i was just adding something to the thread. Not all stories have to be the same. Sometimes its a support to know you arent the only one and people like to read different angles on things.