Feel alone and let down

misgrace

{{{{Hugs}}}} Maybe when your feeling calmer you can come back on and tell us a bit more, then we might be able to offer some support and help.

woodtop

Thankyou everyone for your kind words i felt i needed to talk to someone and because i have no friends or family i felt it right to post on here.
I cannot go into every detail because it will be to long a story but it is to do with my ex and money ,my home and having to move out ,my illness .

onetomany

sending u a big hug xxxxxxxxxx

yoni_one

So sorry you are going through a very rough time and feel very isolated and unsupported by your children.

Have you considered phoning the Samaritans? They are there for big and small matters but mostly if you just want someone to talk to. The phone number is 08457 90 90 90 and the website here: http://www.samaritans.org/

With regards to the problems you are facing with your ex, if you are female you may be able to access free legal advice from Rights of Women, full details on their website - www.row.org.uk

I know that most of all you would like your sons to support you but if that is not going to happen then I hope you are able to access support elsewhere.

Take care xxx

Sunshine12

Woodtop, I think the most important thing you can do just is talk to someone. You shouldnt feel like this and keep it all inside as it wont help you. I think you should take Yonis advice and maybe give Samaritans a call. I also wonder if maybe you could try and talk to your children generally about how you are feeling. You dont have to go into detail with them if you dont feel you can, maybe just tell them you are feeling a bit down and you would like to spend a bit of time with them. I hope you feel a bit better about things tomorrow. Dont hold it all in though, if it helps, just post on here. There will always be someone around to speak to. Best wishes. xx

candygirl

They will soon be back when they need something hun;)It is awful when your kids are selfish, as I am all too awareThe only way I cope now is by surrounding myself with fab friends, and by trying to live my own life, whilst helping out as much as I can.Is there anyone else who can support you at the moment?:(

tabskitten

hope you feel better today!

mrsr

Hi
Hope your feeling a bit better .I think you should talk to them tell them your feeling down and would like to see them ,they may not have any idea your suffering .A few years ago i was having panick attacks and couldnt bear to be on my own as soon as i told my three children what was wrong with me they worked out a router so someone was with me all the time.They had been shocked when they realised i was suffering they had no idea.Maybe yours dont have any idea how your feeling all the best

bestpud

I hope you're feeling better today.

I agree they may not know what to do for the best.

I find it hard to accept my parents are getting on and may need me iyswim? They've always been so independent and the kind of people who sort their own issues out so I find it hard to know whether I should offer to help or not.

Thing is, I know they will say no they are ok, even if they really want my help secretly.

I really wish I could rely on them to shout if they need anything rather than feel I don't care when really I'm mithering about what they may, or may not, want. It's not an issue now as they don't really need anything as such, but I can see it may be at some point!

Have you tried asking outright and making it clear what you need?

On the other hand, my ex is currently caring for his dad, along with his siblings, and yet his dad feels like nobody cares and everyone wants to stuff him in a home and get on with their lives.

That could not be further from the truth - we are all very concerned and doing our best to work things out the way he wants them to be. The reality is though, people need to work and pay bills etc, so we can't provide the full time care he needs without outside help.

I'm not saying that's the case for you but I just thought it worth mentioning as my fil is upsetting his children a lot by telling them they don't care when they are doing their best and not sleeping etc with worry. In his mind, nobody cares, but it's not true at all.

I don't know if that helps or not?

Have you tried sitting them down and being completely honest about the way you feel and what it is you need?

belfastgirl23

OK I'm going to say something a bit tough and it might or might not be true but worth thinking about.

The tone of your post is self-pitying. The harsh truth is that this is not an attractive quality in anyone. It can come across to others as emotional blackmail. I look at DH whose mum (much as I love her) tends to use emotional blackmail as a weapon - eg not talking to someone or whatever - and I know that it's exactly because of this that he will never again be close to her. this makes me incredibly sad because underneath she is an amazing woman but she hasn't ever learned ways of communicating with her children that don't involve guilt and emotional blackmail. Her daughter very much responds to this agenda but her sons much less so. It actually creates a barrier between them.

I'd just say think very carefully about what it is you expect from your sons. Your issues are to do with your ex and money. What is it you are expecting from them? Is it reasonable? Is it something you can ask for outright? If you can't ask for it outright then I'd be concerned that it's too big an ask.

Maybe I'm getting the wrong end of the stick here and seeing it because of the situation with MIL and DH. But I guess I can't say any of this direct to her (policy of non interference alas). Just think about how you are communicating with your sons and how that is making them feel. And think about whether you can do that better. Besides anything else, I always think that stepping up and taking responsibility for whatever part of a problem you 'own' makes you feel empowered in the end up.

Good luck!