Feel alone and let down

woodtop

I dont know were to start,i have been let down by my own children.
I am alone and very lost .
I have looked after and loved them on my own since me and ex split up and the youngest was 8 yrs old then.
I provided everything for them alone even buying them there own first cars.
Now when i needed them more than ever they have turned their backs on me and left me feeling rejected alone and not cared about.

I dont know how to carry on at the moment and feeling very down .
I am sorry i cannot type anymore i am too upset.

soupface

That's so sad, woodtop, I'm sorry. What happened? How old are your kids now?

Sagaris

Children can be very selfish, can't they?

I'm in a similar situation to you, not seen or heard from either of mine in over a year - it does get better, but never goes away, perhaps in time they will come back?

snowmaid

This is another reason why one shouldn't sacrifice a relationship with your OH in favour of the children. I am not referring to break downs and divorce situations here.

But parents devote all their time to their children without any 'alone' time, so that one day when the kids do leave the nest, they wake up next to someone they no longer know.

To the OP, I know how you feel. Going through something with mine at the moment and must say I don't like them very much! I love them! But don't like them! :cool:

woodtop

Four boys youngest is now nearly 19,21,22,28.
When i needed them they dont want to know.
Dont no were to turn have no other family .
I just dont know were i have gone wrong has a parent?

TheEffect

It's really sad that you're feeling like this. I've recently turned 19 and would bend over backwards for my parents, yet my brother who is 21 is me, myself and I. All that matters is that he is happy and having a good time. I've often found that being 'the good guy' doesn't always pay off, as I'd give my last penny and ounce of energy to anyone, my brother being the opersit, and he's the one that everyone admires.

Talk to your sons about this. They aren't children anymore and should be looking after you. All the best. :A

Person_one

What's the other side of this story?

In fact, what's your side? You haven't actually said.

snowmaid

woodtop wrote: »

Four boys youngest is now nearly 19,21,22,28.
When i needed them they dont want to know.
Dont no were to turn have no other family .
I just dont know were i have gone wrong has a parent?

It's not that you have done anything wrong as a parent (that we are aware of!). It's just that they grow up and suddenly the focus of their lives is themself. I would suggest that you build a life without your children. Not saying cut them off, but put yourself first. This business about a mom always having to bend over backwards to accommodate her children is nonsense.

lostinrates

OP, I find my mother always asks me for help at exactly the wrong time....I have occasionally asked her before starting something if she needs anything (I live with her) and she says no...then asks me as I get into the thing I was trying to clear time for. She also sometimes doesn't realise quite how much I do.

What is the story here: what do your boys do? What do you need from them...there might be a way to solve this

TheEffect

Creditcruncher wrote: »

Its a sad fact of life that the little darlings which mothers bring into the world and feed and give unconditional love to and shower with affection actually turn into human beings with their own thoughts and minds.

The need to be with their own friends and meet a partner will always outweigh any feelings they have for their mother.

It does not mean they love you any less. The one saving grace is that their kids will do exactly the same to them as they have done to you. A mothers love for her children is a greater love than the love her kids have for her.

I think most of that is nonsense and likely very biased.

summerday

Perhaps they don't realise how much you need their help/support at this time? Did you make it very clear to them?

Big hugs to you, things might not seem so bad later on.