'Why are women too scared to poo?' blog discussion

Blackjack_Davy

What an extraordinary thread. I had no idea, it's like lifting the lid and not knowing what unmentionables you'll find there, if you'll pardon the pun.

I've got some loo related stuff to tell, funnily enough I don't think I've ever told anyone before....

I've worked as a cleaner in work and school loos and the horror stories I won't even begin to mention but a couple of things -

one bloke used to come all the over to my side of the building to crap in the nice "posh" toilet they had installed rather than use the old common loos right next to his office. Every morning, regular as clockwork first thing in the morning when he came in he'd hang up his coat and come straight over to use the bog - he was a big fat guy and goodness knows what he ate the night before but he'd pebble dash the toilet bowl every morning, I'd have to wedge the door open for 15 minutes to let the stink out before I could venture in there and it'd take quite a bit of elbow grease with the bog brush and the toilet cleaner and a fair few flushes before I got that pan shining again!

The worse job ever though was the school toilets - the primary school toilets are ok because the kids respect the teachers enough to keep them reasonable, apart from the odd "accident" but the secondary school - the kids have no respect for the teachers or anyone else so they'd go out of their way to make them as disgusting as possible - it took me weeks before I could get rid of the stink - I still shudder at the memory - :eek: When I worked in a dept store the public loos had urinals that used to automatically flush every few minutes, but late on saturday afternoon before closing someone blocked the drain hole with toilet paper and it wasn't discovered until monday morning - it flooded the building on three floors, thousands of pound worth of contaminated stock had to thrown away, someone's idea of a practical joke -

Reading this thread I always wondered why the womens toilets where always so much cleaner than the mens - now I know why! :rotfl:

As a bloke if I need to go then I'll go - unless it's one of those public bogs with water swimming across the floor and no toilet paper and it looks like it hasn't been cleaned for weeks then maybe I'll think twice about it, but thats about it. I'll go at work if I can, I'll even make a point of it before I leave - better to go on company time than waste any of my spare time at home!

When I worked as a gardener there were rarely any toilet facilities available so a dive into the nearest bushes and a handful of leaves would have to suffice. Grab a spade dig a small hole and bury the results and the customer was none the wiser! :rotfl: When we did a corporate site and got a chance to use the staff loos it felt like real luxury to be able to have some real porcelain to splash. I have to admit it's removed any squeamishness about going when you need to - if I'm caught short if I can find anywhere out of the way and out of sight behind the back of a building or some bushes I'll happily take a leak if need too. :cool:

joeypesci wrote: »

To you and everyone else. Here is my tip which I mentioned to someone years ago. I'm not a fan of the splash noise either. So simply break off some loo roll before hand, drop it in the pan. Enough that it doesn't totally soak up. Then it will land on that and be super quiet works a treat.

Sometimes it can still fill the bowl as if blocking but most times the pressure means it gets sucked down and the block clears. If you're unlucky, then I'm afraid you're going to have to get wet. This is why best to flush before hand so if there is a blockage you don't get poo all over your hand Because to free it without the loo brush you have to dip your hand in and push on the stuck loo roll that it's the U bend. You'll fell it free and the water rush away

I put paper down too in a loo, but it's more to avoid to inevitable spash up than anything else - getting your @rse soaked in toilet water can't be too hygienic - I tend to hover rather than sit for the same reason in a public loo. :cool:

Theres no way on earth I'm putting my hand down a u-bend even with gloves on! :eek: The old caretaker where I used to work always used a mop kept specially for the purpose - it's the plunging action that does the job. 40+ years on the job and it always worked for him.

kelloggs36

I am exactly like the women in the article and I don't know why! When I was at primary school I was the same apparently - would wait to get home. Even now, I will only go in my home or my mum's comfortably. If caught short whilst out, I wait until there is nobody else in the toilets before I go, and wait for it to be empty before I vacate! Stupid as I know that we all do it, but it is an internal thing, I can't help it! I hate doing it when away at the in-laws', and this weekend I am away with friends, so that will be tricky!!! It is just something to get over though. I was chatting with a friend when we were in the loo once, and she just did a huge one and carried on chatting - I couldn't do that, but wish I could, it would save a lot of tummy aches as I hold it in!

kelloggs36

Ben Elton did a great sketch about going for a number two in a public loo - it was hilarious, and so true.

kelloggs36

The worst public loos I have ever visited were in the South of France. Well, it was almost the south, on the border of the south in a public park with toilets. They were the old fashioned ones with a hole in the ground and standing plates. My DD was 2 years old and had been dying to go for a while, so we stopped for lunch and a toilet. It was so bad, she refused to go - the stench was revolting, there was !!!!!! everywhere - up the walls, on the surrounding floor, virtually everywhere. She screamed and refused to go into another public toilet all day - she did it in a bush which we collected in a bag and threw away (like dog dirt). The smell made me gag. We learnt which conveniences had 'proper' toilets in, but it still took some persuading to get our poor DD to venture inside them!

ragz_2

Certainly not just women, my hubby will only 'go' at home, first thing in the morning. Even if he needs to another time he will hold it to the next morning, which I think is thoroughly unhealthy. Personally I go anytime, anywhere and when I need to! But then I grew up with a composting loo outside our caravan!

calisto

This thread forces me to post this hilarious anecdote from Pistonheads... Men Gruntin while in the mens room

I confess to feeling selfconscious when last night's lamb dhansak, chana massala, keema naan and Cobra is struggling its way out and making a lot of fuss while it does, especially when the traps to either side are occupied by chaps who seem to be able to lay one down with barely a splash, but for true embarrassment, you need a hotel room on your first night away with a new cutie.

So lots of charming conversation and civilised behaviour and attention to personal hygiene and nipping outside to fart have paid off, and several months in it's time for a romantic weekend away. The hotel room is in a dead trendy boutique place, and the wall between bedroom and bathroom is frosted glass. All other bathroom walls are tiled for maximum reverb. The door is also glass, and does not seal in any way - half-inch gaps all round. So you are effectively in the same room as the bed, which is where you leave your amour, curled up and warm ("hurry back", she murmurs) on the morning after a nice moroccan meal with plenty of chickpeas, spiced lamb, felafel and so on, plus a couple of bottles of rough red, and whisky to finish. You pace with measured tread to the echo chamber, then hunker down to answer the insistent call from the lower colon.

To begin with, it sounded like a duck being strangled half-underwater, then as if thirty clowns wearing oversize rubber shoes were having a sprinting race over a massive bowl of jelly, then as I desperately applied restrictive pressure, it faded into an anguished squeak like a deflating balloon, then as my muscle control gave out, a series of small escaping explosions escalated into a titanic rasp that echoed for several seconds.

Having done the paperwork, brushed everywhere in the bowl, including the underside of the seat (how in the name of gravity could that have happened?), washed hands, and assumed as nonchalant an expression as I could muster, I strolled back in to find her sitting up, covers drawn protectively up under her chin, eyes like a lemur, asking whether I was ok, and did I need medical attention?

Kind of killed the mood, rather.

:rotfl:

gelato_cat

The reason is that many women feel they have to comment on everything. It doesn't matter where I've worked, if someone creates a smell in the ladies' loos, at least one person will take it upon themselves to mention it in the office (along the lines of "it's disgusting" etc). Sometimes this escalates into trying to identify who did it, as other posters have said.

I've noticed this ever since I was at school. I had a couple of friends round my house once, we were about seven. I had to excuse myself to go for a poo and because I was gone longer than a couple of minutes I got the third degree when I came back. My friend even went to the bathroom specifically so she could come back and announce it smelt in there.

Men simply don't care as much about the fact that people have to poo and therefore see less shame in it. Friends of mine have little boys who will happily go for a poo at someone else's house and they don't see any shame in it.

I don't really get it, since women are generally more down-to-earth about bodily functions than men are, as we have periods and those who are mums have to clean up kids' puke, poo etc, so you'd think they'd be a bit less bothered.

As for farting, I used to hold them in when in public even if I was outdoors and there was nobody else in earshot, until my ex asked why and I realised there was no good reason to. Now I'll let rip outdoors if I don't think anyone else will hear and I think my bowels are healthier for it!

Farting on flights... I read once that the seats are packed with something carbon-based which filters out a lot of smells but I don't know if that's true. I used to hold farts in on flights but I don't any more (I just make sure I'm covered with a blanket before I do it!) - and, again, feel a lot better for it. Before, I'd always be constipated when I reached my final destination.

Suze

Kava

I got IBS, by being scared to use my work place toilets. I suffered from really bad constipation. Didn't go for a few weeks at one stage. I make sure I go before leaving the house now, although it has taken years for my body to get back to normal. I would go if I was desperate now. I'd just make sure no one else was around.

calisto

Kava wrote: »

I got IBS, by being scared to use my work place toilets. I suffered from really bad constipation. Didn't go for a few weeks at one stage. I make sure I go before leaving the house now, although it has taken years for my body to get back to normal. I would go if I was desperate now. I'd just make sure no one else was around.

I have IBS, but not caused by work place toilets. Indeed I enjoy spending time in the "trap" and doing a crossword or playing chess or minesweeper on my mobile. Especially as I get paid for it... lol! I couldn't care less who was next to me, but if they really reek then I guess I would cough and expedite my little sojourn.

I used to get the lift up to the "executive floor" at the top if I wanted a decent dump that I knew would take 10 minutes or more. Lovely, silence and nobody to interrupt.

There's also the disabled toilet which I would venture in if I had a Lamb Phall the night before - I really wouldn't wish that 15 minute spatter on anyone, and I figured I was disabled at the time as my guts wrenched and I could only stagger around with my pipsqueak orifice tightly clenched for so long....

However, It has to be said, Girls don't poo or fart, and even though they don't, IF they ever did (which they don't), it would smell of Roses anyway. :rotfl:

tara747

calisto wrote: »

This thread forces me to post this hilarious anecdote from Pistonheads... Men Gruntin while in the mens room
:rotfl:

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

OMG, that was so funny. Thanks!

Kava wrote: »

I got IBS, by being scared to use my work place toilets. I suffered from really bad constipation. Didn't go for a few weeks at one stage. I make sure I go before leaving the house now, although it has taken years for my body to get back to normal. I would go if I was desperate now. I'd just make sure no one else was around.

Oh, how I would love to be able to poo on demand! Or be able to 'go' at the same time every day!