bridesmaid paying for their own dresses?

picklepick

I think id find it a bit rude if one of my friends asked me to pay for my own dress. Yes a bride and groom have to pay for everything else but thats just the way it is! I'd never dream of asking my BM's to pay for their own dresses, id be so embarassed. If i couldnt afford to pay for any dresses i wouldnt have any BM's. Simple as that.

superfran_uk

picklepick wrote: »

I think id find it a bit rude if one of my friends asked me to pay for my own dress. Yes a bride and groom have to pay for everything else but thats just the way it is! I'd never dream of asking my BM's to pay for their own dresses, id be so embarassed. If i couldnt afford to pay for any dresses i wouldnt have any BM's. Simple as that.

Exactly, getting married was their (our!) decision and we all ask a lot of our guests - they must travel to our weddings and perhaps take time off work, stay over if they live far away, buy a gift... Requesting that your nearest and dearest fork out £50-£100 for something that, let's be honest, they probably wont wear again (my last BM dress hasn't even been cleaned since the wedding in August!) is just going to cause bitterness - if they don't offer, then don't ask is my motto!

angel13

i think the best thing is to ask people to pay for their own dress (it is normal as i know of friends that have had to even for their kids to be bm's which i thought was a little harsh) but they get to choose what they wear. i.e you ask all bridesmaids to wear a certain colour and then you just provide a wrist corsage or a necklace so they all look similar. that way they can wear something they already own or they at least choose something they will use again.

somerset-girl

I paid for my own bridesmaids dress for my best friends wedding - I was allowed to choose the style myself so ended up with a lovely Monsoon dress that I have worn to other events since. I personally wasn't offended by having to pay myself, but I can see how it may cause problems.

Taadaa

I agree with angel13, firstly if you want them to pay you should make it clear when you ask them to be a BM. Secondly they should have the majority share of the decision on what they wear.

I am paying for dresses, hair and make up. I have told them to get their own shoes, as this is a very personal thing, and one of them hates heels and the other hates flats, the third I have only ever seen in trainers but let's not go there lol!

I personally would NOT ask her because it will come as a surprise and she may agree but may say something behind you back, let's be honest loads of people do this. Generally though if someone asked me to be their BM, I would NOT mind paying for it so long as I loved it and could wear it again. So all I need now is someone to ask me. Anyone?? Pretty please?? x

mrdunkleysexy

Hi, My Fianc!e brides’ mates (4 in total) are paying for their dresses and there all having the same style which they all love. Three of the bridesmaids are my
Fianc!es sister and the forth is her very good friend which she has known for a few years so it was a lot easier to ask for them to pay as they all work and no qualms as the dresses are a very reasonable price. We will pay for alterations of the dresses and hair, makeup and were going to buy them all a wedding gift each

It’s the same with my groom party. The suits (best men/ushers) only cost £55 each to hire and all my involved are happy to pay for that as we’ve known each other for years. If the suits were more I would have contributed but the guys knew I shopped for the best price going from £85 to one place, to £75 quote from another place.

In both situations I guess it comes down to how close you are with your Bridal/Groom party and how much costs is involved too. if the bridesmaids dresses were too expensive there is no way we would have expected them to pay it all

From a male perspective I wouldn’t have a problem if my mate asked me to pay to hire my suit but from a females perspective it can be akward

shellsuit

If I were a bridesmaid, I would be put out being asked to buy my own bridesmaid dress for anyones wedding (regardless of who they are).

If they stated I could wear anything, then fine, I would wear something of my own or choose something myself, but if they wanted me in a proper bridesmaid dress (that I couldn't wear again), in a certain style and/or colour, then I would expect them to pay for it.


I'm paying for my bridesmaid's dress ~ I have to, she's 12 and my daughter lol!

Any

Hermia wrote: »

What if things are a bit tight for them though! I don't have much money and would never wear a bridesmaid-style dress anywhere else so dread being in this situation. If the bride wants the bridesmaids to pay she should also accept that their refusal to be a bridesmaid is not a slight on her or their friendship.

I completely agree!
I paid for my bridesmaid's dresses - they were both the same, both the same style and I picked the colours (we all together decided though). They would never ever wear the dress again so I couldn't ask them to pay for it??!!

However, I did not buy them shoes. I wasn't bothered about the shoes, they just wore shoes that they felt comfortable in and which they normally wear to dressy occasions.

I paid for their hair as well as again I wanted them to have their hair up.

They did their own make up.

Bride_OnA_Budget

i read on bridesmagazine.co.uk about this brilliant new bridesmaid dress company called two birds (if you put two birds into the search box it comes up) where you buy one dress but it can be worn in different ways to suit all shapes and sizes - really genius!!

superfran_uk

sure, you read it... SPAM anyone??

Edited to add - Out of pure curiosity I looked this up (I have all my BM stuff already). Can you say VILE?! And !!!! me it's expensive! I say a hefty THUMBS DOWN to that company!