Group hug desparately needed!

niccatw

Hey bailey

Sending you a big squahy hug and lots of positive vibes. Try to take a deep breath, curl up with your OH tonight and have a good cry/rant/chat (depending which works best for you ), have a bubble bath to try help you relax and get some sleep and hopefullly you'll feel less panicky in the morning.

In my experience, very few people decide to try for babies and have things go how they'd planned! So try not to worry about that and do what feels right for you and you oH. What will be, will be and you will cope - and hopefully be all the stronger for it.

And we're always here for hugs, encouragment, ranting, crying, laughing...

Take care x

heatherykins

((((((((bailey59 - big hug))))))))

Just to say I waas a VERY late baby, arriving when my mum was 46, so you should hopefully have a few years on your side. As others have said, you should continue to try for a baby - people manage somehow when a baby comes along - and think how youd feel in 10 years when you're debt free if you put it off - yes, you'll be debt free (YAYYYY!), but will have likely lost the chance to conceive naturally.

I still remember the first few years giving presents to my best friend's son - he discarded the present and had a ball with the ribbons, paper and box - at that age, money just isnt important!

I really hope things go well for you at work and I'm thinking of you and hubby. Hopefully his work situation will be short term and he will be back up to full time hours soon.

Take care, all the best xx

lozzam

Hi Bailey. Just want to say the same as everyone else. BIG HUGS! And keep trying for a baby - there are a hundred ways that you can make it work.

I was made redundant in November and have just this week got a job offer - I am trying not to panic because they say it will be 4 to 5 weeks before I can start while they do background checks.... but I know in a few months time it will all be under control again.

This will work out, and you will be debt free in the end!

true27

Massive hugs and hobnobs Bailey, I hope it all works out for you xxx

mummy2mygirls

Hi hope it all works out for you. on the baby front i think you should go for it - having a baby is worth so much more then money. You would get smp if you sharted a new job before baby was concieved but if you wasnt entitled to smp then you could get MA. also for tax credits etc go to entitledto.com and put in your details but put babies DOB as a week ago so it would tell you what you would get if you had a baby.....
Good luck and i wouldnt be without any of my babies so i wish you lots of luck with falling pregnant xx

bailey59

Thank you so much to everyone that has taken the time to reply to me today. It helps so much knowing that people on here support everyone when they are down.

Well just to update you all although I havent yet been given my notice its just a matter of days before I will be. My boss unofficialy confirmed it just as I was about to leave the office tonight. He said that he wanted to get a solicitor to check my contract first as the partners at work dont understand it (and they are the ones that drafted it up!) there is a paragraph in there that says if I am 'adjudicated bankrupt or compound with my creditors or be guilty of fraud ...etc. .. that would make me unsuitable for my role' then they can terminate my contract in writing. My bosses know I am on a DMP but I am sure they are not trying to wriggle out of my redundancy pay. So I now have something else to worry about. Anyway I am going to a solicitor myself or the CAB on Saturday just to get it checked out. So in approx 3 months time I will be redundant unless I can find another job by then.

He did say that if things picked up it might be possible to come back and work for them, how thoughtfull of them!!!

So I am still in limbo land waiting for my official notice but at least I now know its coming and I can prepare for it.

Thank you to everyone for pointing me in the direction of SMP & MA and thanks to everyone who has given me hope that there is still time for me to have a baby.

I still dont know what to do about the baby, I will have to look at our finances again. Our mortgage and secured loan take up a lot of our income and there is nothing we can do about either of those. I need to find out what benefits I can get to help out, as long as we have enough income for our bills and some food then thats all we need but I dont know right now cos my head is in such a pickle. All I know is that I want a baby. I cant image what it would be like if I didnt carry on trying because we have no money and then it becomes too late. I am sure there is a way forward though and once I get myself sorted it will become clear.

So thanks again, you lot are great and have given me hope that it will all be okay.

I'm off now to write down everything I can sell that isn't nailed down.

xxxxxxxxx

Byatt

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Bailey))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Just want to offer my hugs and support, though I have no advice. My niece had her 2 children in her late 30's/early 40's, so never think it's too late!

Happytogetdebtfree

Chin up and I hope you can find a job in the next 3months xx hope you get your redundancy pay too xx

hermum

Hiya, hugs from me as well. how much of your salary actually goes into the budget? Do you need a 2nd car to get to work, or bus fares? Do you need smart clothes, do you rely on convenience foods because you don't always have time to shop & cook properly? Are most of your clothes put in the tumble drier, rather than line dried?
If you were at home with a baby all those above expenses would be gone.
Maybe you could look at getting a part time job in a local shop, so that your OH can look after baby while you do a few hours of an evening.
It never seemed the right time for me to have a second baby & now I've missed that boat, much to my regret. Your biological clock is something that can't be stopped.
If your OH isn't earning much you should get tax credits as well as child benefit.
Go for it

katsu

Bailey,

I feel for you, and hope a different perspective is helpful. Having a family isn't right for everyone and you do need to be able to keep a roof over your head, and theirs.

Don;t put yourself under too much strain. Work out the redundancy issue and see what happens.