Group hug desparately needed!

karenlyth25

Cant read and run either. Lots of hugs.

I hope things get better for you soon xx

bailey59

Thanks everyone, my family would help out if I got pregnant but the problem is my DH's wage is not enough on its own to even pay our monthly bills, we rely on half of his monthly wage and all of mine so without my wage or maternity pay at the very least then we wouldnt be able to keep our home. Now this is where someone will say well if its that bad a situation you shouldnt have a baby then, but as other people say it sometimes can never be a right time to have a baby so just go for it.

I guess I need to re-look at our outgoings even though I have done this with the CCCS and look into what, if any, benefits I would receive if I wasnt entitled to maternity pay or even working. To be honest my head is all over the place at the moment so I cant think rationally about all of this.

Thanks again for your lovely replies

elsie52

Hi......... here's a big big big big hug ....xxxx

Here are my thoughts, and probably some people won't agree but here goes......

On the debt front, that will be there for another 10 years at least, and its always going to be there until its paid off..........On the baby front, realistically, time is not on your side, ok maybe you have got a few years, but if it were me I would still go ahead and have your baby. As a couple of other people have said, babies do not have to be expensive. Accept help and hand me downs from friends, family and anyone else. After all, babies need to be loved and safe and cared for, more than they need expensive clothes and nursery items. Have a look on Freecycle, and yes I know, you will want to give them the best that you can afford, but love doesn't have a price.!

I'm a grandma to 3, and it doesn't and wouldn't matter to me if they had the latest this, that and the other, I love them just for being here, and I'm sure you will have family who will feel the same way.

Hope your job is still safe, and at the end of the day, just remember CCCS or Payplan, or whoever your DMP is with always make sure that you can eat, pay your utility bills etc, whatever is left goes to your creditors, and if you havn't got much left then they can't have it.

Good luck

Butti

bailey59 wrote: »

Now this is where someone will say well if its that bad a situation you shouldnt have a baby then, but as other people say it sometimes can never be a right time to have a baby so just go for it.

Bailey,
I think you do what is right for you. As others have said you can cut costs and for the first two years you can give cardboard boxes with wrapping paper round it for presents!

B

Xevius

Don't forget that with a child you will prob be entitled to some tax credits too if your family income is low.

mamajojo

(((((Bailey59))))))
Hope things get better .....I'd keep on trying for a little one, no matter how tough the money is you'd manage.... ( but I'm 40 with a debt to match 40k and would be happy to have another little suprise baba!

dancingfairy

Hi - I hope things pick up for you soon. I guess you've just got to be reassured that your doing the right thing with trying to sort out the dmp. Hopefully you will find out what's what today with work and can get through the next few weeks and the dust begins to settle a bit for you.
One thing at a time and just keep plodding I think.
df

bailey59

Thanks again. All this not knowing is really doing my head in. My personal file with my contract in etc is missing so I presume they are looking at it and deciding what to do with me, I just hope they treat me fairly and let me know asap.

As for the baby, I just dont know what to do for the best right now. I think I need to find out about my job first then make a decision. I just dont want to leave it much longer because of my age. I dont care if I had a baby and it had second hand everything, I'm not bothered about that, I'm bothered about paying the essential bills on one wage, it means cutting down drastically (something like £1000 per month) and I'm not sure how I would do that as we are on the DMP now have not got any spare now. I think I need to try and calm down and hopefully the situation will become clearer, now I'm just in panic mode and not thinking clearly at all.

Thanks again guys xxx

misscdc

mamajojo wrote: »

(((((Bailey59))))))
Hope things get better .....I'd keep on trying for a little one, no matter how tough the money is you'd manage.... ( but I'm 40 with a debt to match 40k and would be happy to have another little suprise baba!

big hugs to you too Bailey :kisses3:
im a newbie and in the same boat as mamajojo ( 40 plus 40 ) and you just have to go where the road takes you :heartsmil if you earn below a certain wage then you can deffo claim for housing benefit and council tax benefit too, you can also look at tax credits to top up your earnings, try and keep your chin up, if i've learnt one thing from here it's how genuinely supportive people can be :T
take care xxx

Happytogetdebtfree

Hi and hugs, im relaly sorry about things, sounds like your havinga tough time ((hugs))... i know its hard to look for positives in this time but could you downsize your house reduce the outgoings that way?, who knows your job maybe safe fingers crossed... dont not try for a baby, a silver lining will come, family and friends may pull together keep strong keep positive, have you psoted an soa? is there anywhere else you can cut down?? if you got made redudant would you get some payout ? that would help a little, things may change in the future, husband job may improve and payrises may come, you may find another job if you needed to... dont give up hope xxx